


Fear Will Be Your Enemy

by BossPotato01



Series: Even If You Find Us, We're Apathetic [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Asexual Character, Blood, Characters Watching Disney Movies, Child Abuse, Children, Depression, Faked Death, Food mentions, Gaslighting, Gore, Guns, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lots Of Sad, M/M, Misgendering, Murder, Original Character Death(s), Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Pining, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Seven Deadly Sins, Slut Shaming, Stabbing, Strangling, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, Weight Issues, inuendos, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:09:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 35
Words: 74,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24537520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BossPotato01/pseuds/BossPotato01
Summary: Virgil is having a hard time. He understands that his famILY is busy making room for the sins in their everyday lives. But now that he has attention from a new source, somebody who adores him and wants to take care of him- how is he supposed to mend the bond that is being so massively torn?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders / Narcissus | Lust Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/ Honesty Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Depression | Oz Sanders/ Morality | Patton Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Envy Sanders/ Gluttony Sanders, Honesty Sanders/ Narcissus | Lust Sanders (mentioned), Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Nero | Wrath Sanders/ Narcissus | Lust Sanders, Pride Sanders/ Honesty Sanders (mentioned)
Series: Even If You Find Us, We're Apathetic [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1766137
Comments: 171
Kudos: 128





	1. Stones Are Thrown

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, ya'll! Sorry, it took a bit longer than I said it would, I've been sick. But now here we are! Part two of the series! If you didn't read part 1, I seriously suggest you do because like, a lot of crap has happened and it's probably essential if you don't want to be confuzzled. I'm trying to finish up the school year, but hopefully, I'll be able to continue the update schedule that I had in the last one: 2-3 chapters a week. 
> 
> Of course, please remind me if there are tags you need me to add, I will be putting in more as we go along anyway, but these were the ones that I could think of for now.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: reference to self-harm (not graphic)

At first, nobody noticed that Virgil was 'off'. Everyone was busy getting used to life with the sins, Roman was trying really hard to mend things with Remus and Janus by being a good dad to Apathy... they were busy, he supposed. 

And that was fine.

He didn't want to mess up their happy feelings after all those months of ever-constant problems or add to anyone's worries. He was so, so ignored- and it was better that way. There were always others that needed attention more than he did, of course. Envy was grieving, Janus was stressed and trying to overcome his trauma of being around Roman, Nero was struggling to be assertive with his feelings... the list went on. Virgil could wait, couldn't he?

But as weeks faded into months, he was becoming more and more forgotten. Honesty continued to rot in the dungeons of Remus's castle, where he had now resided for four months. Maybe he wouldn't be imposing now? Maybe he could work up the courage to ask to be loved? "Hey, Patton?" He asked, pausing in the doorway of the kitchen. Patton didn't hear him. Gluttony was busy showing him how to make a 10 layered lasagna dish, while Emile watched amusedly. How could Virgil just walk in there and- damn, what had he even wanted? A hug? A pat on the back? Even to be recognized that he was there? He couldn't, not with Gluttony there. Patton was busy cooking with his new friend, Virgil couldn't demand attention, no matter how... touch starved he was.

The next day, he went to Logan's room, kicking softly on the door. There was laughter inside. "Come in!" called Roman's voice. Virgil walked in- and quickly averted his eyes. Remus, Roman, Logan were all sitting on barstools with easels- and Lust seemed to be their nude model. 

Logan was very red in the face. "I don't see any point in this, Remus!"

Remus scoffed. "What? You said you wanted help practicing drawing anatomical models, and Lust was more than happy to oblige."

From the chair lust sat in, he shrugged in Virgil's direction. "What can I say, I'm always eager to strip for friends!" Roman laughed at this comment, his pencil flying across his page.

Oh, this wouldn't do either. He didn't want to talk about his feelings around Lust and Roman- two sides he did NOT like- and Remus and Logan were busy. He didn't want to disrupt them, not for something as unimportant as himself. No, he wasn't going to be selfish. That wasn't fair to them. Virgil hurried out- but not without catching Lust's attention.

He didn't try again for a few days. When he finally did, he found Apathy, Janus, Nero, Greed, and Remy all sprawled out on the living room floor. Apparently, Remy had made them all facials- something that Apathy had somehow managed to get all over his shirt- and they were laughing as Apathy went around, stealing and eating the cucumbers on their eyes with shrill laughter. It was so... domestic. So sweet. Virgil couldn't ruin it with his bad feelings, it just wasn't fair of him to do that to them.

Apathy spotted him. "Virgil!" He giggled, "do you want to come and join us? we have enough left, I think!"

Virgil bit his lip. Oh, how he wanted to just be. To just exist in the same room as them, to relax and have fun. But he had seen first hand how the presence of the emotional sides had an effect. Tensions were often higher when Nero was around. Apathy tended to suck the life out of things. He couldn't add anxiety to the mix, that... that wasn't nice. So he rattled off some excuse and hurried back to his room.

He shouldn't have been surprised when they forgot to invite him to movie night. But it hurt- so, so bad. Virgil had been enjoying a quiet night alone- eating Ramen in his room as he binge-watched some show on Netflix- when he heard laughter foot up from the commons. When he crept down to see what was going on, it felt like he had been hit by a truck. They were all just sitting around, watching Moana. And by the looks of it, they were more than halfway through, too. 

Virgil spun around, silently praying he hadn't been seen as he hurried back to his room. Hot tears burned as they trailed down his face, his lungs tightening. Oh no, this wasn't the time for a panic attack! Not now...

There was a soft knocking on the door. "Anxiety? Virgil? Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Virgil sat on his floor, clutching his knees. Whoever it was must have seen him when he had gone to the commons. Shit. "Go away," he muttered, not caring who was at the door.

"Virgil, you don't have to let me in, but it sure would be pretty swell if you did!" There was a pause, the person waiting for Virgil to open the door. When he didn't, the person sighed, continuing.

"Listen, I know we're not really friends or anything, but I'm kind of worried about you. You've been real isolated lately, and I figured-"

Virgil swung the door open fast, startling the man standing on the other side. Lust. "What!? You figured what, Lust? That I wouldn't be bothered by the fact that I was completely ignored, not only these past months since your sins showed up, but I was forgotten on my birthday!? That my FamILY hasn't given me the time of day since you all showed up!? You know what, it's fine. Go back down and enjoy yourself. I don't care!" He sobbed, slamming the door in Lust's face and sliding down it to the floor again.

Lust was trying to talk to him, but eventually, his voice went quiet. Virgil couldn't really hear him anyway, not over his own sobs. Had he really been so stupid? To think that all day when he dropped hints about it being his birthday that they were pretending they forgot so they could throw a surprise party? Ugh, anything but this cruel reality. Anything! 

Virgil sunk from his room into the imagination. Maybe a walk to sort out his thoughts. Maybe just to get away from the others. It wasn't like they cared about him anyway. The freezing late December wind stung his cheeks where his tears had been. Just another unpleasantness, he presumed. Another part of his miserable life, another little bit of suffering. When everything was piled together, all these little pains, it felt like so much more. Oh, how he despised it. 

Virgil's eyes fixed on Remus's castle, an idea fixing in his mind. There was only one person who was lonelier than himself today. Sure, he'd probably get in trouble for it, but what the hell did he have to lose? Not exactly anything important, was it?

_____________________________________________

The dim light from his oil lantern hurt Honesty's eyes as he tried to read a newspaper. His knees were tucked up in his skirt, carefully balancing on the hard wooden bench in the corner of the room- anything to keep off the freezing stone floor, away from the rats. Oh sure, he deserved it (or at least the others thought he did) But this was disgusting.

A pair of sneakers coming down the stairs caught his attention. There was sniffling from this person- was it Envy again, come to kill him (or at least, to try)? No... his mind focused, trying hard to remember the name of the person standing outside his cell. It was Paranoia, but oh, what did he go by now?

When Honesty couldn't settle on his current name, he sighed, making his best attempt. "Ahh, to what d-do I owe the pleasure, Paranoia? I didn't think visiting little old me was exactly on your b-birthday 'to do' list," he shivered. 

The side looked at him in surprise. "It's Anxiety- well, Virgil now, but... how did you know today was my birthday?"

Honesty scoffed. "I was there when you were made, V-Virgil. I was banished rather soon after, but I remember." Virgil leaned against the stone wall with a heavy sigh before wincing and jumping away. "Ahh, yes, I wouldn't do that. The stone gets m-mighty cold during these winter n-nights." Virgil thought for a long moment, processing the information, before shrugging off his hoodie and handing it through the bars. Honesty looked at him suspiciously. "What are you doing?"

"You need it more than I do, since you live down here. And you're the only one who remembered my fucking birthday. Do you want it or not?" He half-heartedly snapped. Honesty reached forward, taking the hoodie and wrapping it around his shoulders. 

"They forgot your birthday? That's tough, but it doesn't exactly explain why you're here." Honesty sighed in relief at the instant warmth the hoodie brought him. "Thanks for the hoodie, by the way."

"Don't mention it," Virgil said with a sad, half-smile. He shrugged. "Look. I didn't want to be around when they come around and frantically apologize, or pretend like they're sorry for forgetting about me. At least you won't lie to me."

Honesty smiled. "So you're just taking advantage of the fact that I'm physically incapable of tormenting you with sweet, comforting lies?" That was the truth, really. Janus could spin his words to be a weapon or a crutch, but there was something oddly comforting about the truth. It was clear. sometimes you didn't want it to hear it, but it was there.

Virgil shrugged. "Pretty much, yeah. It was either you or crying in my room."

"I'm flattered." Honesty said in a monotone. And somehow, he was. There was a long silence between the two of them. Honesty inspected Virgil. The emo's eyes had bag big enough to carry milk jugs; he didn't even need his makeup. Without the hoodie, Honesty could see he was decently fit and rather attractive, his skinny jeans showing off his figure, his long leave shirt-

-his long sleeve shirt. Honesty looked harder. Yes, there it was. Bandages, just barely peeking out from under the sleeves. Honesty clicked his tongue. "Virgil, Virgil, Virgil. You poor thing, those wrists-" Virgil jerked away, pulling down his sleeves and standing up quickly.

"This was a mistake..."

"VIRGIL!" Honesty shouted. Virgil froze, and Honesty composed himself. "Virgil, those bandages hardly looked adequate. I won't ask questions, but for the sake of your health, let me help you. Hell, let me pay you back. For the hoodie, that is." Virgil stood still for a long time, his heavy breathing and the scattering rats the loudest thing in the room. He walked up to the bars, so he was only a mere foot away from Honesty. "Would you be a dear and summon a medkit for me?"

Virgil did as he was told, shakily tending his arms, forearms up, to Honesty. The side took them gently, carefully cleaning and rebandaging the wounds. "I don't understand why you care."

"I want to try and make amends, I suppose. If Roman can get that far after what he did to Deceit..."

"You murdered someone and tried to kill Apathy. There's a difference."

"...Yes."

A long silence passed. Honesty continued to hold on to Virgil, even after he was done, and Virgil made no effort to be rid of him. They were both that touch starved, Virgil supposed. Wow, he was holding hands with a murderer through the bars in a dark, cold, rat-infested dungeon on his birthday. This was just great.

He took his hand away. "I should get going."

Honesty nodded. "Yes, you should."

Virgil began his way back up the stairs, but not before hearing Honesty's voice call after him. "Virgil, I know your friends want to spend time with you. You must not believe that just in being around you're somehow harmful."

The anxious side ran up the last few stairs, repressing his tears. Was it wrong for him to feel so much better now, after talking to the worst person in the entire mind? He wasn't sure. But damn, Honesty had been so... nice. So polite without asking for anything, so... selfless.

Honesty was not a selfless person. He knew this very well. Malicious intent was in his nature, even though he was a light side. And this sad, lonely boy who fought great wars against his feelings might just be exactly what he needed to get what he wanted. It was nefarious. Cruel, perhaps, but not selfish. He would be helping poor Virgil, right? 

Honesty laughed aloud to the empty room. This was going to be fun. After all, he was Honesty. how could Virgil not trust him?


	2. The Dark End Of The Street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Enjoy the new chapter!

All of the sides were waiting uneasily at the door. "Where is he?" Janus mumbled, looking out the windows of the commons into the imagination. It was dark, and the snow was falling. Surely he would be back soon, he had too!

Patton was crying. Hard. He was slumped over the table, his face buried in his hands. Logan was trying to console him, but the fact was that they had all forgotten Virgil's birthday. They deserved to feel bad.

The door opened and closed. Virgil stood there, his hair dusted with the snow. He had been crying, but he didn't look that upset now. He was without his hoodie- and odd sight, definitely- and it only added to the unease all of the sides felt.

"Kiddo!" Patton stood up, hurrying forward to hug him. Virgil put up a hand, shaking his head. The moral side shrank back a little, respecting the boundary. "Virgil we were so worried! I'm so, so sorry we forgot, we've just been so busy! That's no excuse, but-"

Virgil smiled softly, shaking his head again and pushing through the crowd of sides. Apathy and the sins- with the exception of Nero and Remy, of course- had all gone to bed, allowing some familial privacy. Virgil should've liked finally having the attention of his famILY, but the wounds they made had, for however long of a time, taken away his desperation for their affection. "Don't worry about it, Pat. It doesn't matter; I'm not upset anymore. I think I'm going to go to bed."

"Virgil please, let us make it up to you! Lust told us you were so upset, and you totally have the right to be. Just... please?" Patton murmured, his eyes wet with tears. 

Virgil shrugged, "I don't know what you want from me. I'm not upset with you anymore, you don't need to make it up."

Logan cleared his throat. "Falsehood. You were incredibly hurt by our actions, so much so that you ran out into the freezing imagination all alone, and without your hoodie! I-"

"I had my hoodie, and I wasn't all alone. I gave it off to Honesty when I went and visited him. You know, he didn't even remember my current name, but he still knew it was my birthday?" Virgil scoffed, turning and heading back up the stairs, despite their protests. 

When he was back in his room, he went to his closet and pulled out the old one, from before his outfit change. It was easier to hide his bandaged wrists, he reckoned when he had a hoodie on. Virgil settled down onto his bed, finding his ramen cold and his laptop at a dead battery, and went to sleep.

______________________________________________________

"Patton?" there was a soft knock on the door. Patton hadn't heard it at first, he had been too busy sobbing into his pillow. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Patton said, not bothering to lift his head from the pillow. He didn't care who it was, at this point. And his glasses were all wet and steamed up now anyway, it wouldn't have made a difference if he looked up or not. A soft hand rested on his shoulder.

Patton pushed his glasses up, and despite how blurry it was, he made out the shape of Janus. "Pat, it's not your fault about Virgil's birthday. You've been incredibly busy trying to make the others feel welcome, it's not fair to beat yourself up like this."

The moral side sniffled. "But he's my kiddo! We hurt his feelings so badly, he went to Honesty!"

Janus wrinkled his nose at the mention of the side, but his voice was comfortingly optimistic. "And now, we have to support and make him feel better so he doesn't feel the need to repeat that."

Patton nodded, sniffling, and wiping off his glasses. "Thank you, Jay. You're right."

"I always am," Janus said sarcastically, standing up and offering Patton a hand. He pulled the dad character to his feet, and they left Patton's room. Downstairs, Logan was in the kitchen with Emile, trying to bake a cake, and Emile and Remy were decorating- Nero ran frantically between the two groups, trying to keep them from messing either project up. Patton joined the kitchen group, and Janus the decoration squad.

Virgil woke up to the smell of a cake. He groaned, burying his face beneath his pillow. Oh, they better not be... 

He stumbled from the bed, squinting to see the time on his phone. It was at 6 am. Virgil groaned again. He shrugged up the hood on his hoodie and left his room, making his way to the commons. Apathy was the only one awake. He was eating cheerios, sitting between Remus and Janus, who seemed to have fallen asleep on the couch. Remy was curled up on the floor, ribbons, bows, and wrapping paper his makeshift blankets. The commons were decorated nicely, he had to admit, a variety of black and purple decorations thrown around the room.

"Hey, Virge!" Apathy whisper yelled, trying to be conscious of the sleeping people around him. "Happy late birthday!"

Virgil smiled, walking over and touseling the younger side's hair. "Thanks, App."

"They made you a cake! Janus said I couldn't have any until you did. Can we pleeease have cake?" Apathy begged.

Virgil sighed, smiling again and waving a hand for Apathy to follow him into the kitchen. Patton was asleep on the counter, Emile and Logan had slumped over the table, and Nero was sprawled out like a starfish under the table. "Why are they all asleep in the commons instead of their rooms?"

"I think they were hoping you'd come back down. Everyone felt really bad about yesterday. Ooh, there it is!" Apathy giggled, pointing to the cake on the counter. It was a tall, circular cake painted in thick, purple frosting. There were spider web designs all around the sides, and in Patton's curved script it read: 'A Verry Merry Un-Birthday, To You!' above a little doodle of the Cheshire Cat from Alice In Wonderland.

Apathy continued to ask for a cake, his little fingers reaching up to take a dip in the frosting, so Virgil got a knife and three plates, an idea forming in his mind. He dished Apathy up, who watched him put a piece of cake on the plate inquisitive. "Why are you serving three pieces?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter," he hummed and shooed Apathy back to his cartoons. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen, Virgil scribbled down a note for Patton. 

'Padre,

I promise I'm not mad at you. Thank you so much for the cake; I love it. I've got something to do, but I'll be back in a little bit. Maybe then we can all have a Disney marathon?

-Virgil'

He signed the note, tucking it next to the hand of the sleeping side, and took the two slices of cake, sinking into the imagination. He walked down the steps, into the dark, disgusting dungeons under Remus's castle.

When he squinted in the light, he spotted Honesty. The side was curled up on a bench in the corner, Virgil's hoodie wrapped tightly around him. He stirred at the sound of Virgil's footsteps, lazily opening his eyes. 

He smiled softly when he spotted Virgil; and he yawned before sitting up and stretching. "Ahh, back again so soon, Virgil?"

Virgil gulped, his face reddening. "Oh! If you don't want me here, I understand, it was stupid of me, really, to just assume that after last night you would-"

Honesty walked over, leaning against the bars. "Virgil, Virgil, Virgil. Don't spiral about it, darling. Of course, I want you here!" His silver eyes shown in the oil lamplight, a smile on his face. Virgil was momentarily struck dumb by the fondness in Honesty's voice, in his expression. Nobody talked to him that way. Patton would use that tone with Logan, Janus did with Remus, and Emile with Remy. It was filled with care and concern, and he could tell it was genuine. It had to be genuine, right? Honesty couldn't lie to him. "Now, what are you doing here so early?"

"I... well... Patton tried to make a cake to smooth over yesterday."

"How does that make you feel?" Honesty asked, and once again Virgil became acutely aware that Honesty was giving him his complete attention. That alone was so, so rare.

Virgil blushed. "Lonely, I guess. They all seem to think that, no matter how many mistakes they make, they can bounce right back. I mean, take Roman for example! He drugs Janus, rapes him, tries to kill Remus, verbally and physically abuses Nero, and time and time again hurts poor Apathy's feelings, and they're practically acting like nothing happened!"

Honesty pursed his lips. "It makes you wonder where their moral standards lie. I would've thought Patton would be more strict in that respect. But no- when Roman, if we're going with that example, does something bad, it's a mistake. He was one of Patton's 'kiddos,' of course he'll be more lenient. But when I do something bad, it makes me 'evil?' That I need to be locked up down here?" He waved his hand around at the damp cell, and shrugged. "Thus is the way of society."

Virgil suddenly remembered his cake. He held it out to the side. "I, Uhm... I brought you some cake. I imagined you don't get anything good to eat, with Remus in charge of your meals."

Honesty's brows went up in pleasant surprise. He nodded, smiling at Virgil. "That's very kind. Say, would you like to come in here and eat with me? That way we won't have to both sit on the stone floor, you can join me on the bunk."

Virgil bit his lip. "I don't know if that's the best idea... you could shove past me, run out, kill me-" he began to list, but Honesty shook his head.

"First off, the barrier is magic, not just the bars. I couldn't be let out unless Remus let me, even if you held the door wide open. This means that you can come and go as you please, but I cannot. As for killing you..." Honesty tipped his head to the side, his smile coy. "You're far too interesting."

There was a silence between the two of them. Virgil steeled himself. He wanted to go in. But what would the others say if they found out? ... he didn't want to think about it. He wasn't going to think about it. What they didn't know couldn't hurt them, right? So instead, he took a deep breath and entered the cell. Honesty beamed at him, taking a seat on the side of the bunk and patting the spot next to him. Virgil nervously took a seat, handing the side a piece of cake. They ate very quietly, not saying much more than comments about the flavor of the cake. And it was nice, Virgil thought. To have someone who didn't expect anything from him, who would just be around him.

"You have frosting on your face, Virgil." Honesty said, interrupting Virgil's thoughts. Slowly, so that Virgil could easily have resisted his touch, Honesty reached up, wiping the frosting away with his thumb. Honesty's hand was soft, kind. Virgil adored the feeling.

The anxious side wasn't sure what came over him. He suddenly leaned forward, his lips colliding with Honesty's. Honesty's lips were warm and soft, the taste of frosting clear on them. The other side was clearly very surprised by this, and though he made no effort to get away from Virgil, the anxious side tore himself away, his face going red. "I... I..." he choked, standing up quickly.

Honesty smiled comfortingly. "Virgil, it's alright-"

"I need to get going!" Virgil said quickly, running out of the room. Honesty called after him, but Virgil sunk down, away and into his room.

Why had he done that!? It was stupid, Honesty was a criminal, a murderer... 'and a damn good kisser,' his mind supplied. He buried his face in his pillow. Why was this happening to him?!


	3. American Beauty, American Psycho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoo hoo! It's my last day of online school for the year! Hell yeah! Hopefully, chapters can go up more frequently now!
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]
> 
> -minor panic attacks  
> -reference to past sexual abuse  
> -implied consensual sex

When people want to believe something, they will go blind trying to avoid the facts. Virgil put on his most mentally stable mask, and they were 'glad to know he wasn't feeling down.' Well, most of them.

Janus and Apathy didn't seem to believe him. Janus would crinkle up his nose, shaking his head often when Virgil spoke; when he told Patton he was fine, when he insisted to Logan that yes, he had been eating and sleeping well... etc. And Janus tried to reach out, he really did. Time and time again, he would remind Virgil that he could always talk to him, that they were all there and supportive of him.

But Janus was busy- he was a dad, after all- and Virgil didn't want to bother him. That wouldn't be fair to add 'worry about Virgil' to his list. So he remained tight-lipped.

And then there was Honesty. Honesty didn't have anything going on, he was polite to Virgil and always seemed willing to listen. But Virgil hadn't been able to visit him. It felt so awkward after the kiss! How could he just show back up? And yet- as little things continued to weigh him down, the lack of attention, his stress, his anxiety- his heart ached more and more. He began to worry about Remus finding out about these romantic intrusive thoughts he had toward their "enemy." But Remus said nothing. Of course, he said nothing. He was too busy, he had a nephew to raise, Thomas to work with- he didn't deserve to be bothered with Virgil's thoughts. That wouldn't be fair.

And so, six days after his birthday, it was Christmas Eve. Everyone was even busier than usual, helping Thomas get ready and their own festivities. Virgil was laying in bed in the afternoon, stewing in his thoughts over Honesty, when there was a soft knock on the door. "Who is it?"

"Lust," said the voice.

Virgil groaned, gripping his pillow and tugging it over his head. "Go away."

"Virgil, we need to talk." Said Lust, his voice serious.

"And why is that?" Virgil asked, rolling his eyes and hoping the sarcasm in his voice was noticeable.

"Because I know that you're in love, that's why!"

Virgil jumped out of bed, panic settling in. He ran to the door, yanking it open. Lust walked in, admiring the anxious side's decor. Virgil slammed the door behind him. "What the hell are you talking about, Lust?" He hissed.

Lust turned to him, his eyes sympathetic. "Look, while all that fluffy romantic crap is Roman's job, I get all the longing, carnal stuff. I can sense it in you, and I know it's over Honesty."

Virgil scoffed, crossing his arms. "That's fucking ridiculous-"

"Don't deny it, or I'll get your buddy Janus to vouch for me. I know you don't want that," Lust said, picking his nails. 

Virgil sighed. "What do you want then? To chew me out? To make me feel worse about being attracted to him than I already do?!"

"No, of course not. I want to help you, Virgil." The words hung in the air as Virgil tried to wrap his head around it. Why would Lust want to help him? Why would anyone want to help him? He voiced that question. Lust smiled softly. "Honesty is charming, I know. I got banished over that sexy asshole. I'm not mad at you, I understand better than anyone that feelings for someone isn't exactly repressible."

The anxious side dropped his snarky tone, biting his lip. "That doesn't answer my question. Why do you even care?"

Lust sighed, sitting down on the side of Virgil's bed. "I care because he's dangerous, Virgil. And I..." Lust paused. Virgil had seen that look on Janus's face before, it was the 'can I get away with being dishonest here' sort of expression. Apparently, he couldn't. "...I don't want you to get hurt. Emotionally or physically.... and I'm sure the others feel the same way!" he hurried and added.

Virgil shook his head, hugging his arms. "You don't understand! He listens to me, he's kind and respectful, and-"

"You think I don't know that?! I was banished with him for over a decade! I knew him before you existed, Anxiety! I am fully fucking aware that the idea that 'oh, he can't lie, he must really mean these things' seems like a good deal! But he has other ways of being manipulative! I just want to help you not end up like Pride!" Lust shouted, raking his fingers through his hair and pulling slightly, his eyes pinched shut.

It was then that Virgil realized: Lust was scared. He was shaking slightly, standing there, pulling his kimono tight around him, trying to force himself to calm down. "Please. Please, don't go to him again." He whispered shakily. 

"You can't stop me," Virgil said coldly, flinching a little at the sound of his voice.

"You're right. I can't," he said, defeated. "I can't stop you. If you want to be with him, I can't block that. But if it's just because you don't feel listened too, or feel ignored by everyone but him... that's not true. Virgil, Thomas, and the other's love you. They value you. They want to be here for you." Lust's eyes were dark- there was a heavy sadness to them, one that Virgil hadn't noticed before. Lust rubbed his face on his sleeve, walking to the door. "I'm sorry. Just... don't let him hurt you." And he was gone, off down the hall.

Virgil snapped from his reverie, went to the hall. "Lust! Wait, come back-" but the sin had disappeared behind his own door.

Virgil walked through the living room, glancing around. Remus had hoisted Apathy upon his shoulders so the child could place the star on the top of the Christmas tree, and everyone was laughing and hanging around.

They didn't notice when Virgil slipped out the door, into the imagination. They didn't notice that Lust didn't come down for dinner, or anytime the rest of the evening. What could be said? They were to busy.

______________________________________________________

"Good evening, Virgil!" Said Honesty, standing still in the very center of his room. It reminded Virgil vaguely of Dr. Hannibal Lector in The Silence Of The Lambs. "I did miss you! How are you?"

"Why is Lust so afraid of you?"

Honesty's face twitched- as if he really, really didn't want to tell the truth. "Wow, right to a point today, are you?"

"He figured out... uhm..." Virgil mumbled, his face going pink. "That I... have feelings for you."

Honesty smiled brightly. "Awww. How wonderful to know! I too have feelings for you," he said, putting effort into making Virgil more comfortable.

The anxious side, still red, smiled. He shuffled a little, before willing himself to continue. "Lust... uhm... he was pretty adamant that you were a bad person. Why? Besides the whole, 'killing Pride' thing."

Honesty hummed, thinking. "I think that there is a lot that you sides don't know about the dynamic of our lives in banishment. For starters, I was in charge. I got what I wanted, and that was that. Envy and I both wanted Pride, so I got him. Narcissus didn't want to sleep with me- a stupid thing, really, considering he's excited to spread his legs for everyone else- and I wanted him too. So he did." Honesty froze, biting his lip as he read Virgil's expression. "Oh dear, he didn't tell you his name yet, did he? My mistake."

Virgil gulped and shook his head, biting the inside of his cheek. His stomach felt sick. Maybe he should have listened better to Lust- or, Narcissus before. He would have to ask Lust if he was comfortable being called by his name next time he saw him. But back to the point. If Honesty had raped Lust- "I am different now, of course," Honesty said, interrupting his train of thought. "I have different goals, different feelings... I respect you, Virgil. I will never kill or violate you..." he walked forward, leaning against the bars with a coy smile. "That is, never without your consent."

"What are your goals now?" Virgil said, his eyes locked with Honesty's. 

Honesty's smile widened. "Why, first and foremost, to love and take care of you, of course!"

Virgil took a step closer. "Do- do you really mean that?" he asked, remembering Lust's words. 'he has other ways of being manipulative.'

Honesty nodded, reaching forward through the bars and wrapping his arms around the slightly taller side. "Of course I do. And I will do anything to make you feel happy and safe."

He leaned in close. Virgil met him, his lips crashing into Honesty's. He entered the cell, Honesty's arms around him, his fingers in Honesty's hair silvery-brown hair. Virgil moaned softly into the kiss, pulling off Honesty's hoodie and setting it on a dry spot on the floor. He pushed Honesty back onto the bunk, kneeling on top of him. 

Honesty's hands slid along Virgil's sides before he quickly tugged off Virgil's shirt. Honesty whistled as Virgil buried his face into the ex-light side's neck. "Wow..." he hummed. "You have a better build than Pride or Narcissus..."

Virgil didn't know how to feel about the comment. It felt wrong, somewhat, to be here, in Honesty's bed, lifting up the man's skirt. He knew what Honesty had done. He had murdered Pride and manipulated countless times. He had raped Lust- but Lust was such a slut, wasn't that bound to happen?

His thoughts, as they became warped by Honesty's cruel words, were silenced. He didn't care. 

It just felt nice to have attention.


	4. Cocoa With Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it 530 AM here in PST? Yes. Have I slept? No. Do I have another chapter for you? Yeah.
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]
> 
> \- (Not in depth) description of rape/non-con  
> -slut-shaming  
> -Suicidal thoughts  
> -Suicide Attempt

Lust collapsed against the door of his room, sobs wrenched from him. He felt like he was drowning. Why wouldn't Virgil listen?! Lust had just wanted to help! He didn't want Virgil to end up like Pride...

Lust pulled off his kimono, wearing otherwise only a pair of white shorts. Lust threw his kimono in the mirror in the corner of his new bedroom. It was nice, the room the mind provided. Airy, decorated in sunset-like purples and whites. Usually, it felt peaceful. Not now.

His mind was racing, unable to tear away from his thoughts of Virgil. Virgil, the first person he actually loved, was in love with Honesty. Lust shuddered, biting his tongue so hard it bled. He would do anything to avoid those memories. But they came up nonetheless.

Honesty, calling him to his office one evening. Honesty, pushing him against the wall. Honesty touching him. Honesty holding a knife to his throat, forcing him to be quiet as the man 'had his fun.'

"Whore!"

"Slut!"

"Tramp!"

"Fuckboy!"

All these words, dancing around his mind. Things he had been called, time and time again. "Weren't you kind of asking for it?" Greed had said when Lust had come to him late that night, sobbing. "I mean, dressed like that?"

"Come on, you're supposed to enjoy that sort of thing, aren't you?" Pride had asked, seeming only uncomfortable that his boyfriend had been with someone else, not by the act. But who was he to do anything? Honesty did what he pleased.

Envy had been annoyed at being woken up in the middle of the night. "Men can't get raped," he had muttered, throwing a pillow Lust and telling him to leave.

Gluttony had been in the kitchen, making popcorn at 1 am. "Dude, that's ridiculous. Honesty'd never do anything like that! You're such an attention whore."

And that wasn't the last time it happened either. But it sure was the last time he talked about it. These people were his friends. How could they think about these things? "They don't respect me," he answered his thoughts. "They don't fucking care."

Virgil... Virgil didn't care. Virgil hated him. He wouldn't listen, no matter how hard Lust tried to help. God, how he just wanted to help Virgil. Lust had never felt this way about anyone before. There was a difference between a fuck-buddy and a lover. And oh, how Lust wanted to love Virgil. How he wanted Virgil to love him back- to hold him the way Patton held Logan; to kiss him the way Remy kissed Emile; to look at him the way Remus looked at Janus. But he just couldn't have that, could he?

But somehow, Honesty had beaten him to it. Honesty was charming, elegant, and suave. He was a dangerous sociopath, and he knew just the ways to get what he wanted. How could Lust ever compare? He was just a filthy, annoying... slut.

Lust spent hours with his back against the door, dissociating. Nobody came to ask him to join them for dinner, though he heard their chatter and eating in the dining room. Time was passing. How did time pass? He would become aware of the clock- 10 pm. And then let his mind wander, before glancing back at it what felt like only a moment later. 3 am. And then, he would wait an especially long time before looking again- and it was only 3:15.

His bones ached. His heart ached. His skin felt ablaze as if his blood was a current of energy, but he was so, so tired. 

All of these things...

It was such a terrible weight...

He just couldn't carry it anymore.

Lust got up, stumbling to the little writing desk in the corner of there room. He slumped into the chair, grabbing a paper and pen. It was 530 am. Now or never.

Sides,

I'm sorry. I wish I could've been a little stronger for you all. I wish I could have not made so many mistakes in my life. I wish that just ONE person would see me as a person, and not as some object. I don't want to die, but there's nobody around to save me. I'm not trying to be an attention whore. Please just forget about me and move along- don't pretend you miss me. Don't fake mourn. I've been manipulated enough in this life, don't lie to me in death, too.

I know it doesn't mean anything to you, but I just want you to know: Virgil, I am so in love with you. It breaks my heart to know you're with that asshole. But this isn't your fault. It's his. I wish I could be better for all of you. But I'm just... so, disgustingly me. I'm sorry.

-Narrcisus (That's Lust)

He signed it with his real name. It felt weird- he never went by that name, even though all of the sins knew his real name. It just didn't quite fit him. He was Lust, and he would always be Lust. And now, he would die as Lust.

Lust waved his hand, shakily summoning a bottle of arsenic. He knew from listening to Logan and Remus chatter before that this amount would take about 24 hours to kill him. But he would fall unconscious quickly, and it's not like they'd come looking for him.

The sin crept down to the kitchen, folding the note in half and setting it on the sofa next to the Christmas tree. Hopefully, they'd see it in a half an hour when they woke up to open presents. He almost regretted not getting to be a part of the festivities. In the secret Santa, Lust had gotten Nero. He had gotten him a new pair of Orange cowboy boots- it wouldn't restore his powers, of course, but he had thought that it might make the wrathful side feel nice. He vaguely wished he could be there to see it...

but no. He had a job to do.

Lust spun on his heel, almost running straight into Patton. "Oh goodness!" Patton squeaked.

"I'm so sorry," Lust murmured, hugging his bare chest tightly. He couldn't meet Patton's eyes.

"Oh, it's fine, Lust! No harm was done!" Patton said giddily, walking over to the Christmas tree with an excited sigh. "I always love to get up extra early on Christmas. Oh, secret Santa will be so fun this year, with so many more people!"

Lust nodded softly, not caring to speak. Patton glanced back at Lust, eyeing him carefully. He took a step forward. "Lust, kiddo, is something wrong?"

Lust took a deep breath, strengthening himself as much as he could so not to show emotion. "I'm just not feeling too hot, Pat. I'm going to go back upstairs-"

Patton waved his hand, walking past him into the kitchen. "Kiddo, if you're feeling sick you can't just go back up all alone and be miserable! Would some hot chocolate make you feel better?"

He pulled the cocoa powder down from a cupboard and looked to Lust for an answer. Lust gave a quick nod. Patton smiled, flicking on a soft light over the counter, so as not to overwhelm. Lust got a good look at Patton. The side was wearing his onesie, though he still had his sweater tied around his shoulders. Patton waved his hand, and a chair appeared. He motioned Lust to have a seat. 

Lust sat, and soon he had a hot cup of cocoa in his hands. Patton pulled off his sweater, wrapping it around Lust's bare shoulders. "There you go! Do you need anything else?" Lust shook his head, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He rubbed them away on the back of his hand, but not before the moral side noticed. "Do you need a hug?" he asked softly.

Lust nodded, setting the cocoa on the counter and allowing Patton to wrap him in a hug. "W-why are you so nice to me?"

"I care about all my kiddos, Lust. Why wouldn't I be nice to you?" Patton's grip loosened- maybe he wanted to be let go- but when Lust started bawling in Patton's arms, he just held the sin, comforting him. He asked what was wrong multiple times, but Lust didn't want to answer. He just needed to be held.

And then he couldn't answer, even if he had wanted too. He slumped forward into Patton's arms. 

Wait!

He didn't want to die!

No, please!

Please...

Than everything went black.


	5. Just Gonna Stand There And Watch Me Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What up, hemoglobins? Here's a fresh chapter for ya'll! I promise things are gonna work out- but it sure as hell ain't in this chapter!
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]
> 
> -victim-blaming  
> -triggered panic attacks  
> -discussion of suicide attempt

Janus woke to the sound of screams. His groggy mind snapped to alertness as he jumped from the bed, Remus a few steps ahead of him. They went down the halls, trying to source the noise as other tired sides poked their heads out. Remus stopped to check on Apathy, but Janus ran down the stairs to the commons.

Logan was running into the kitchen, fumbling with his glasses. "Patton, what-" but he stopped, frozen as Janus practically ran into him trying to see what was going on. Patton was kneeling on the floor, at the side of an unconscious Lust.

"He said he wasn't feeling well," Patton hiccuped, tears running down his face, "So I gave him some hot chocolate and my sweater, and I- I was just giving him a hug, he-"

Logan knelt at Patton's side, placing a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder as he summoned a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. "Patton, thank you for alerting us so quickly. I know that was likely very frightening," He turned quickly back to the sin on the ground, checking his heartbeat. 

After a few seconds, Logan rolled his eyes, yanking out one ear. "Janus, I can't listen with all that commotion, can you-"

"On it," Janus said, turning back to the hallway. Several people had already come thundering down the stairs, groggily asking what was going on. "Guys, Logan can't work if you're not quiet!"

"What the Hell is going on?" Greed whisper yelled, one of the curlers he had in his hair falling out and bouncing to the floor with a soft thud.

"Lust collapsed; Logan's trying to figure out why," Janus said shortly, lightly pushing them all away from the kitchen door and into the sitting area. They all sat in nervous discomfort. Remus came down the stairs with Apathy, who looked a little confused as he read the emotions of the room, but settled on oohing and ahhing the Christmas tree instead of inquiring.

Remus settled down next to Janus, wrapping his arm around his husband. "You okay?"

"Me? Lust's the one who collapsed."

Remus nodded, shrugging. "Well, if he's unconscious, I can't exactly ask him if he's okay."

Patton poked his head out the doorway, rubbing away his tears. "Hey, guys? Logan wanted to know which of the sins was in charge of medical stuff when you were banished, he needs help."

The sins looked around uncomfortably. "Uhm..." Envy said, biting his lip and sliding his feet in and out of his slippers. "That was Pride's job. But I imagine Honesty would know anything about Lust's prior medical problems; he was in charge."

Patton screwed up his face, ducking back into the kitchen. Emile and Remy, who had just gotten there- (they had not been woken by the noise, as their rooms were in a different part of the mindscape) quickly learned what had happened. Emile followed Patton back to Logan while Remy took a seat on the floor next to Apathy, where they guessed what the presents were.

Janus got up, patting Remus on the shoulder as he walked by, quietly entering the kitchen. "Lust is very unstable. He seems to have consumed something he shouldn't have, but I have no idea what, why, or the reason it is having this effect on him," Logan said, sliding his hand through his hair and standing up, snapping his fingers so he was wearing his normal clothes instead of his onesie. "I can test his blood when I get back. For now, I need to go and visit Honesty."

Janus and Patton both cringed. Janus blinked slowly, massaging his hand, the mention of Honesty sending phantom pains through the wound the gun had left when Honesty shot him. He still hadn't fully recovered- he couldn't move the thumb on that hand- thank god it wasn't worse. He sighed. "I'll go with you then," Janus said after his pause. "Wouldn't want you to see him alone."

Logan nodded, relief at the offer washing over his face. Janus snapped his fingers on his good hand, changing into hid normal clothes. Patton followed suit, agreeing to join them. Emile sighed, clearly wanting to object, but he held his tongue. "I'll stay here and watch Lust then, I suppose. I'm a psychiatrist, so I did go to an imaginary medical school."

"I'm going to tell Remus we're leaving," he said, ducking back into the main commons. Something was going on, he realized quickly. Nero was crying. The wrathful side was shaking, panic seeming to set in as he clutched a piece of paper in his hand. The creative twins were trying to talk to him, but he seemed far away- yet utterly terrified.

Terrified. Speaking of it, where was Virgil? sure, he hated being up early, but he had to have heard the noise...

Roman managed to get the paper from Nero's tight grasp, reading it quickly. "Oh Nero," he said softly, holding his ex-boyfriend's hand. "I can see why that triggered you, I'm so sorry," He handed the paper to Janus. 

"Sides,

I'm sorry. I wish I could've been a little stronger for you all. I wish I could have not made so many mistakes in my life. I wish that just ONE person would see me as a person, and not as some object. I don't want to die, but there's nobody around to save me. I'm not trying to be an attention whore. Please just forget about me and move along- don't pretend you miss me. Don't fake mourn. I've been manipulated enough in this life, don't lie to me in death, too.

I know it doesn't mean anything to you, but I just want you to know: Virgil, I am so in love with you. It breaks my heart to know you're with that asshole. But this isn't your fault. It's his. I wish I could be better for all of you. But I'm just... so, disgustingly me. I'm sorry.

-Narcissus (That's Lust)"

... oh fuck.

Janus stood there, slightly shell-shocked. He didn't really have the time to unpack all of that, but four things suddenly clicked into place.

1\. Lust's collapse had been due to a suicide attempt.

2\. Apparently, Lust was in love with Virgil.

3\. Virgil was dating someone?!?

4\. Oh, and Lust's name- Narcissus.

He whispered to Remus where they were going, and raced back to the kitchen, thrusting the note into Emile's hands. "This..." he muttered as Emile read it, Logan peaking over his shoulder. "This wasn't an accident."

Emile frowned, pushing his glasses up on his nose and silently passing the paper off to Logan. He knelt next to Lust, petting his sweat-stuck bangs back on his head. Emile summoned a wet cloth, draping it over the man's head. Finally, he spoke. "This is a problem. We all need to have a long talk about feelings- sides shouldn't be getting this bad. Whether Lust dies or not, these actions are going to hurt Thomas."

Logan seemed to be thinking hard about the note as he folded it up and placed it in his pocket. He cleared his throat, grabbing the attention of Patton and Janus. "We need to leave, wasting time like this is detrimental."

The trio sunk down, coming up at the top of the stairs that led into the dungeons. Patton looked uneasy, so Logan took his hand. Janus led the way, quietly walking down the dark passage. He took the hanging oil lantern off the wall and held it out in the dark, so he could see into the cell.

He almost dropped the lantern.

Honesty was asleep and laying on his side, facing the stairs- clearly naked, though thankfully his waist was wrapped up in a sheet. And... and Virgil was laying next to him.

"What the fuck..." murmured Janus, losing his voice. Patton gasped loudly, causing Honesty to stir a little.

Logan stood quiet for a moment before clearing his throat awkwardly. The banished side cracked open an eye, grinned when he saw it was them, and stretched slowly. He sat up, quickly tugging on his skirt and shirt, standing up and walking over to the bars. He leaned against them, chuckling and raising an eyebrow, his silver eyes shining creepily in the light. "Ahh, boys! To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"V-Virgil?" Patton squeaked, his eyes fixed on the figure in the bed.

Honesty didn't respond right away, but it suddenly seemed to click for him. "Oh! I didn't hurt him if that's what you're wondering. In fact, we had a lovely evening. Damn, I haven't gotten dick that good in ages!" 

Patton seemed to squirm uncomfortably at the comment, but Janus suddenly found his voice again. "So it's your fault that Lust attempted suicide! I should have known this had psychotic asshole written all over it!"

Virgil jerked up in the cot at the sound of Janus shouting. "Oh! Guys!" He hurried, tugging on his clothes again and running up to the bars. "This isn't what it looks like, I promise!"

"Oh, this is exactly what it looks like! You've been fucking our enemy!"

"Have not!"

"Don't try and fucking lie to me!" Janus said, his voice cracking a little. 

Honesty wrapped his arm around Virgil's tense shoulder. "It was rather obvious that you were lying, dear. But what's it matter, Deceit? I actually care about him and give him attention, while you're off screwing that trash goblin of a duke and playing with that ankle-bitter Apathy."

"Is that what this is about?"Janus asked, seeming sadder by the minute. "Virgil, I'm so sorry! I've been so busy, but I never meant to make you feel like you needed to go to him for attention! I'm not mad; I just need you to come home."

"Why, so you can forget about him again?" Honesty said, picking his nails.

"What? No! We need him, Thomas needs him. Lust tried to kill himself this morning, Virgil, he needs you."

Virgil seemed to deflate. He tried to ask for more details, but Honesty spoke over him. "He did? Wow, I didn't think the slut had it in him to pull something like that. Good for him! Was he successful?" Honesty asked, tilting his head to the side, his expression exited.

"Virgil, can't you see how toxic he is? If nothing else we've seen him do was any consideration, then being enthusiastic about suicide?" Janus said, trying to keep his voice calm. He wasn't sure if he was going to cry or scream. Maybe both. "And no, he wasn't thus far, but he's still dying." 

"That is why we came to visit, Honesty," said Logan, summoning a clipboard. "As Pride is dead, the other sins placed you as the one who might know the most about any medical conditions Lust may have. Allergies, or something else?" He prompted. "It would help to narrow down a cure, or allow us to avoid harmful substances."

Honesty folded his arms, shrugging. "Why should I help? He wants to die, I won't take that right away from him."

Janus reached through the bars, grabbing Honesty by the shirt and slamming him into the bars. "Ugh, you've always been like this! Even when we were kids, you were always a pretentious bastard! I am not going to let you kill another side, you son of a bitch, so tell us what you know!"

Virgil and Patton reached to tug the two away from each other, but they were caught off guard when Honesty began to laugh. "Aww, Dee, you haven't changed either! You're still so insecure; you're not afraid of losing Virgil because you love him. You're afraid of losing him because you need him to love you. You're so desperate not to be a dark side, and yet..." Honesty clicked his tongue, looking down at Janus's shaking, gloved hands as they clung to his shirt. "Here you are. Being the bad guy. If Virgil wants to keep seeing me, and you prevent him from doing so- how can you still be good?"

Janus let go, his eyes flickering with lots of emotions. He turned desperately to Virgil. "Virgil... please. We were best friends, all those years ago. I know we fought, but remember? We moved past that! You were the best man at my wedding! Please, please listen to me on this. I've known Honesty for a lot longer than you have, he's going to hurt you."

Honesty tilted his head in, lowering his voice a bit. "Virgil, he's Deceit. He's a liar. I can't lie, and I promised you that I would love and take care of you. Who are you going to believe, hmm? Of course, you could ask Logic or Morality, but they were the ones who banished me in the first place at Deceit's will. I wouldn't say they're the most reliable sources here."

Virgil looked between the two of them. He saw Janus's desperate, pleading expression, and Honesty's seemingly sincere, supportive smile. Janus seemed about to cry. "I... I..."

"Come on, how is this a difficult decision? I may be a 'bad' side, but he's evil!" Defended Janus.

That did it.

"Evil? That's rich, coming from you," said Virgil. 

Janus deflated a little. "w-what?"

"What, you never thought about it that way? You've continued to torment Thomas with concerns that he was a bad person. You were pretty toxic to me when I was a dark side- thank god I got to go join the lights. It's your fault that Roman was ever banished in the first place- what, just so that 'your' creativity could be in charge? It was your fault that Nero was stuck with Roman, and it ended up making him suicidal. You stood by while Roman tore down Apathy's self-esteem, which ended up leading to him running away and eventually Pride's death. And Honesty's the evil one?"

Janus stood, frozen as tears started forming and slowly streaking down his face. Honesty was smiling, thrilled by the development. "I'm sorry," murmured Janus, and everyone, save Honesty, winced at the pain in his voice. "I'm sorry if I ever did anything to hurt you. I'm sorry I couldn't be around how you needed me, I'm... I'm..." he hiccuped, scrubbing at his eyes with his sleeve in a desperate attempt to stop crying. "I'm sorry that Honesty is so much fucking better for you than your family!"

Janus sunk out quickly. Patton looked at Virgil, his face solemn. "Lust said in his note that he was in love with you. It would mean a lot if you came by, at some point, to see him. I don't know that he'll ever wake up." And then he sunk out.

Logan sighed. He took off his glasses, cleaning them, and putting them back on. He was just about to sink out when Honesty put up a hand. "Wait, Logic." Logan paused, expectantly. Honesty rolled his eyes. "Lust can't consume alcohol or most fruits, he's allergic. I wish you well in your research."

Logan nodded, quietly thanking him, but wouldn't even look at Virgil. He sunk away, leaving Virgil with an overwhelming sense of guilt. But, as Honesty hugged him, pressing soft kisses along his neck and murmuring little praises, he melted. His heart ached- he knew it wasn't fair to blame Janus for everything that had happened. He knew Honesty had done a few things- but he also had to understand what true love was like- he was married, after all!

But then why did it hurt so badly?


	6. Paranoia Strikes Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey my dudes! Not much to say here.
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]  
> \- mentions of rape/non-con  
> -victim-blaming  
> -mentions of suicide attempts
> 
> Remember to just comment if you think I need to add some more tags to the story! I'm always happy to oblige.

Lust had been moved to Logan's room, where he would be well out of the way. Word had gotten around to the others that Lust had attempted suicide, and though it was Christmas morning, everyone was solemn. Apathy had opened presents, but nobody else was particularly interested. That was, until, Janus showed up, his face red from crying, and half curled up in his husband's arms. Patton quietly sat down on the floor. 

Emile and Logan had stayed with Lust, and there was still no Virgil. Everyone could tell there had been a big blow out between Janus and Virgil- but they made no comment. Remus simply wrapped an arm around Janus, kissing his temple and massaging his back as the side stared blankly out the window.

Remus cleared his throat, dragging the attention from Janus onto himself. "Well guys, let's not make Thomas feel too bad on Christmas! Why don't we open some presents? I'll start," he selected the gift that had his name on it, tearing it open dramatically.

"That was from me," Roman said, grinning as Remus stared at the book in his lap. It was full of recipes that seemed to be Halloween themed- edible 'eyeballs', pickled 'brains', etc. "So that you can make that sort of stuff without actually poisoning anybody!" He laughed but clearly winced when Nero whimpered at the word 'poison'. Roman murmured an apology.

"Thanks a ton, Ro-bro," Remus said loudly, struggling to keep the mood up. "Roman, why don't you open yours now,"

"I don't think that in secret Santa you're supposed to tell everyone who gave the present-" began Greed, but he was quickly shushed. The air got a little lighter, as laughter filled the air, only darkening when Nero was given his present. 

When nobody claimed the new pair of boots were from them, he cringed, holding them with his knuckles white. These were from Lust, he thought. Lust, who had poisoned himself. Lust, who he may never get to thank. Lust... Nero muttered something inaudible and scurried off to his room, unable to stand the presence of everyone any longer. This was all far too full of triggers.

Everyone opened the rest of their presents until there were just four under the tree. The one for Logan and the one for Emile, who hadn't come down yet, the one for Lust, and the one for Virgil. Remus squeezed his husband's hand, leading him to his feet. "Patton?" Remus asked, turning to the moral side. "Could you watch Apathy for a bit? Jay needs some time." Patton looked at Janus, a sad frown on his face, and nodded.

Remus lead Janus from the room and back to the old dark side commons- which had fallen relatively out of use after they had been accepted- where they sat on the beat-up, leather couch. "What's wrong, JJ? Did something happen when you went to see Honesty?"

Janus just sat there in a state of shell-shocked sadness, his lips squirming as he tried to form words. "V-Virgil..." he mumbled, before shattering. Janus broke down, sobbing into Remus's arms. Remus held him tightly, caught off guard by the sudden emotion, but he hugged and comforted him.

"What happened with Virgil, snakey?" Remus asked quietly, taking Janus's hat from his head and combing his finger's through his husband's hair.

"W-we lost him. God, I thought I was better, Remus! …It just feels like a cycle I can’t break. He was my best friend- the youngest of the dark sides. It... it hurt so bad the first time he left. For such a long, long time. But... but... I thought..." his voice cracked, a shudder rippling through his body as he managed a broken whisper. "I thought we had made up- talked it over. I didn't think... that he could still hate me like that."

Remus couldn't believe his ears. After Virgil had promised that he had 'never hated the others' even after he left! He had promised, all those months ago, on their walk through the imagination when Remus still had Hanahaki. How could he have made Janus feel this way? There must be some mistake... "Virgil doesn't hate you, love, I'm sure that-"

"He's been sleeping with Honesty," Janus whimpered hoarsely, interrupting Remus. "And... and when I tried to convince him that Honesty was toxic, he- he turned it on me. He was mad at me for getting Roman banished. He was mad at me for getting Nero stuck with Roman. He was angry that- that it was my fault Pride had died."

Remus froze- he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Virgil? Their Virgil had said that? Had broken his husband's self-esteem so terribly? It didn't matter how much he tried to smooth it over, to insist that Virgil didn't mean it, to help Janus feel better- there was no coming back. His heart was smashed by his best friend.

After an hour, Janus having calmed down a little, the liar wandered back to make Christmas cookies with Patton and Apathy, a blank, tired expression on his face- leaving Remus alone with his thoughts. Remus usually avoided being alone- in a house with 15 sides, that shouldn't have been hard- but now he was alone. Perhaps it was better that way. He wouldn't want to plan a murder out loud. 

Fine, he wouldn't literally murder Virgil. What with it being 'bad for Thomas' or whatever. But hell, if Virgil wanted to believe that the Dark Sides were the bad guys- he'd give him bad. 

Remus tapped his knuckles on Nero's door. "Heya Rat! Can we talk?" Wrath stuck his head out from behind the door, his eyes bleary, opening his mouth to chastise Remus for the nickname but paused, faltering at the expression on the side's face.

He was wearing bright orange basketball shorts, his new boots, and a black sweater threw over his stained white tank top. Nero pushed up his rarely-worn glasses, shrugging and stepping aside to let Remus into his room. Remus bounced in, sitting on the edge of Nero's recently slept in bed, bouncing with energy.

"What's up?" he yawned, settling down in an old wooden desk chair.

"I need your help with somethin'."

"What?" Nero asked, combing his hand through his hair and frowning when it came back greasy. He wiped it on the edge of the desk.

"I need a plus one to go beat up Virgil."

Nero sighed, taking a long drink from a bottle of water left on the desk. He set it down, massaging his temples. Remus waited. "I'm sorry, what? Why are we beating up Virgil?"

"He 'figuratively' put Janus's heart through a wood chipper this morning. Nobody breaks my husband's heart."

"Do I get to know what he did?" Nero said, folding his glasses and standing up.

"No."

Nero bit his lip, sighing and shrugging. "I don't know, man. I was really warming up to V-dog, we were becoming pals again!"

"He told Jay that it was his fault Roman raped him, you were abused and Pride was killed."

Nero was slightly dumbstruck for a moment. "What the hell, why would he say that?!" his pent up Wrath shining through. Even on anger repressants, he found himself fuming. God, he hated unjust cruelty.

"Janus told Virgil it wasn't a good idea for him to be sleeping with Honesty, and Virge lashed out." Nero's left eye twitched, bright Orange flashing in them. He cracked his knuckles, took a long, deep breath... and stormed out of the room. Remus followed close behind him. "So we're doing this then?"

"Fuck yeah we are," Nero grinned. "As it's been proven before- if your shit to me, I'll agree with you, if your shit to people I care about- I'll carve out for eyes with a spoon, mash them up and make you eat them like guacamole on crackers!" He paused, chuckling to himself softly. "Wow, that was a very you thing to say, wasn't it?"

Remus reached out, putting his hand on Nero's shoulder and stopping their trek. "Hey, are you... are you okay?"

Nero's zealous smile faded. "I... I..."

"I shouldn't have asked you to do this with me, Rat. I'm sorry." Remus said, patting him on the back. "You don't seem to be in a great emotional state for this right now."

"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm fine!" Nero insisted, lightly shoving the taller side's hand off of him, his eyes growing wet.

"Nero..." Remus prompted. 'wow,' he thought. He'd let two people cry on his shoulder and it wasn't even 10 am!'

"I... I just..." He paused, taking a deep breath, the bright orange flickering out of his eyes. "Lust poisoned himself. I've tried three times to kill myself- one time by poison. I just... I know better than anyone the kind of pain you'd have to be in to go that far. How was I so blind to him? He... he's a good person. I never liked him much, but that was the problem. Nobody wanted to even try to be there for him; to be his friend, or give him a chance. I don't know what hurt him, but... God, I want it to stop."

Remus slung a comforting arm around the sin's shoulder. "Look, unless you can promise me you won't go overboard, you can't come with me. I don't want you to accidentally take out your frustrations over Lust on Virgil, as mad as we are."

Nero nodded slowly, rubbing his eyes. He took a few long, slow breaths, and nodded. "You've been there for me when I needed you. I want to be there for you." He smiled softly, and Remus nodded, waving a hand for Nero to follow him the rest of the way to Virgil's room.

"Virgil, you in there?" Nero asked loudly, gesturing Remus to be quiet. "We need to talk." He reached into the pocket of his sweater, pulling out a pair of brass knuckles and slipping them on. There was shuffling in the room.

"I really can't talk right now," came the anxious side's voice from beyond the door, his tempest tongue shining through.

"Oh, I wasn't asking," Nero grunted, leaning back and slamming the heel of his boot into the door, flinging it open to reveal a pitch-black room. Remus grinned as he watched his friend- even with the darkness of the mood, it was fun to watch Nero be himself.

Well, that was until Virgil grabbed Nero in the dark, putting him in a headlock and pointing a gun to his head. Remus froze- he had never been more afraid of Virgil than he was now. The anxious side's eyes were wide with desperation, the makeup under them smudged from tears. "Be still!" he hissed at Nero.

To everyone's surprise, Nero laughed. "By God, Honesty really did shove a stick so far up your ass that it fucked up your brain! What, Virge? Gonna kill me?" he taunted, but he didn't look sad. He looked scared. Remus cursed himself again for dragging Nero into this. 

"I... I don't want to. But I will if you mess this up!"

"Mess what up, Paranoia? Your little flaunting around with a known murderer? Oh pu-lease, you don't have it in you to shoot me."

Remus shot Nero a warning look. "Don't taunt him, Nero, please," he begged, looking to Virgil. "Virgil, this doesn't have to go this way. We all love you so much- Patton adores you, Apathy worships you, Janus cares so much about you, and so do I- Hell, Lust is DYING because he loved you. Please don't-"

"I just want you to unlock Honesty's cell. Then we'll leave you alone."

"Out of the question!" Nero insisted, scoffing at the very concept. "He MURDERED Pride if you needed the reminder. He tried to kill Apathy, he's a manipulative bastard who thinks he can just have whatever he wants- don't let that be you!"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "For the record, Lust had it coming, so don't blame Honesty for that. He never actually killed Apathy, and he really never wanted to kill Pride! He didn't have a choice!"

" 'da fuck do you mean, 'Lust had it coming?' What else did ya'll do to him, besides dragging his heart through the mud so you could fuck a dude who is basically just horseshit in a skinsuit?" Nero growled, shifting a little under Virgil's grasp, slowly wriggling to a position that he could free himself from.

"I'm talking about the whole 'rape' scenario? I mean, come on- even the other sins didn't take him seriously."

Nero faltered. He couldn't breathe right, panic slowly growing inside of him, fueled by Virgil and his room. Rape. Honesty had- oh god. It made him sick to his stomach just thinking about it. Oh god, he was going to fucking kill some people over this shit. "How. Dare. You," Nero spat, his words laced with poison. "You need to stop with this victim-blaming crap you've started to do! If Honesty touched or fucked or whatever Lust without his consent, it's sexual abuse! It doesn't matter who he is, you sick bastard!"

"And you made my husband cry! You tried to get him to think it was HIS fault for Pride's death!" Remus chimed in. "That's really shitty."

Virgil bit his lip softly, and for a moment, Remus saw the doubt in his eyes. Then it hardened. "Look, I don't care what you have to say about this. I came here with a purpose. Remus, it's Nero's life or Honesty's freedom. Choose quickly; I don't have all day."


	7. Some Kind Of Madness Is Swallowing Me Whole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! Sorry my chapter's have been a bit slower coming, I started a new job recently and have been busy. But here we are! This is a heavy one!
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]  
> -gun violence (blood gore)  
> -MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH (sort of)  
> -you will suffer

Remus's head was spinning. Why wasn't this easier? Oh, if only he was Morality! Patton wouldn't have such a hard time with this. But it was just him. He had to choose- Nero, or Honesty?

On one hand, Nero had conspired against him, leading to his husband's rape, and nearly his own death. But Nero had also done so much good. He had watched over Apathy, even as it hurt him to do so. He had tried to be a better person. And he really, truly was. And now, Nero's eyes were locked with his. They were scared- God, for the first time in his life, Nero was scared to die. But it didn't seem like 'the beyond' was what scared him. No- it was the concept of Remus choosing to kill him rather than free Honesty.

Remus could see it in the sin's eyes- Nero thought that getting himself killed was more honorable than letting Honesty free. And sure- it might be worse in the long run. But he just couldn't let Nero die. He couldn't... he couldn't live with himself if he got Nero killed. 

"Okay, Virgil. I'll do it," Remus sighed, waving his hands in the air, relinquishing the magic barriers. There was a sudden whoosh as Honesty rose up next to Virgil. His smile was wide and psychotic, like the Joker's. He giggled, clapping his hands. "Brilliant, Virgy! You did fantastically! I knew I could count on you!"

Virgil looked ashamed. He couldn't even look at Remus. Honesty smiled, rubbing Virgil's shoulder with a hand. Virgil flinched at the touch- it did not escape Remus's notice. His shoulders were hunched, and he was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt... despite all the shit that was going down, it really hit Remus like a ton of bricks to see him this way- on the brink of a panic attack. 

God, he was so confused. How had Virgil gone from loving and being a part of their family, to disowning them for Honesty, to... seemingly being afraid of Honesty? Remus's head was spinning. He wanted Virgil back so bad, even if he didn't want too... this was just like it was after the first split. He left them for somebody new, giving them no real explanation. It hurt. Why was it so much worse this time?

"Alright. You got what you want. Now fuck off, Honesty, before I drench you in boiling tar and lock you in an iron maiden full of starving rats."

Honesty clicked his tongue. "You know, just for that-", he was cut off by Nero slamming his elbow into Virgil's chin and slapping the gun from his hand. 

The next seconds etched into Remus's mind- a haunting, terrible feeling as everything seemed to slow around him. Honesty gracefully bent down, picked up the gun, and fired three times, each bullet cutting through the air, ratting the room.

The first bullet went through Nero's back.

The second grazed Remus's arm.

And the third... 

The third went into the back of Virgil's head.

Nero and Virgil went down hard- Nero fell after a few steps, knees first, then his left shoulder. Virgil crumpled liked paper in a fire, shriveling in on himself and collapsing like a sack of potatoes. 

Remus screamed, summoning his mace in his good arm and bringing it up to swing at Honesty. The side pointed his gun once again at Remus, clicking his tongue. "Now Remus, don't be foolish. No need to cause your family any more grief by getting yourself killed, too."

Remus lowered the weapon to the ground, putting his hands up, despite the pain in his arm. "Why..." he said softly, staring at Virgil's unmoving body on the floor. "Why... why would you... he loved you."

"Kill him? Why did I kill Pride, sweetie? Why do I kill anyone?" He shrugged. "It's fun. Pride was disobedient, Virgil had doubts in his loyalty-"

"He's anxiety, of course, he'll have fucking doubts!" Remus hissed, his voice hoarse with the strain of emotion. "And rightfully so if he was hanging around you, you sick, puss and shit-filled bastard."

Honesty scoffed. "Those are foolish words coming from a man with a gun pointed at him."

Remus shook his head. "There are no bullet's left. That's a six-shooter; the same one you used before in the imagination. You haven't had access to your powers, so I doubt you could summon any more bullets. Two killed Pride, one went into my husband's hand, one for me, one for Nero, and one for Virgil. That's six."

"It was only one bullet that killed Pride. Don't test me, creativity, I can count," Honesty insisted, his expression angry. Remus gulped but steadied himself to sound more confident.

"Then why haven't you shot me point blank yet, if you're so sure you had an extra bullet? I'm the husband of your greatest enemy. You already tried to kill his son, wouldn't I be just as fulfilling? No, you don't have another bullet."

Honesty paused, confusion flooding his face. He began counting on his spare fingers. "I was sure it was one for Pride... wasn't it...?" he murmured to himself, briefly taking his focus from Remus.

It was all the time Remus needed. He picked up his morning star, and with a powerful swing, drove the spiked ball into Honesty's hands, sending the gun flying. The gun went off when it hit Virgil's lampshade, sending a bullet into the wall behind Honesty. The ex-light side cried out but managed to duck the next blow. "See! I was right!" Honesty grimaced, reaching down and grabbing a fistful of Virgil's hoodie.

"This isn't over," he mumbled, and sunk down, dragging the body of Virgil with him.

Remus sunk to the ground on his knees next to Nero as fast as he could. Nero chuckled. "Thank God you're shit at Math, Reme..." he muttered, before falling unconscious. Remus scooped Nero up the best he could to keep him from moving too much, finding his own breath speeding up. 

Panicking. Oh fuck, he was panicking, wasn't he?

He frantically rose up in Logan's room, which he had used his powers to transform into a hospital room/lab. Emile was sitting in the chair next to Lust, retaking his vitals as Logan looked at something beneath the microscope. 

Remus let out a shaky breath, hot tears staining his cheeks as he struggled to hold Nero, his arm bleeding and aching with pain, whimpering, at a complete loss for words. His shirt was stained with blood- probably Nero's, he realized, as hot, thick blood seeped from Nero. His shirt was so stained at this point it was impossible to tell if the bullet had gone through-

gone through.

The bullet had gone through Virgil's head. Oh fuck...

Emile and Logan came over to him, asking questions. What had happened, who was injured, etc. But his mind was blank as if his circuits had misfired. "V-Virgil," he choked out. "Honesty k-killed V-Virgil..."

Emile tried to reach forward and take Nero from him, but Remus clung tighter to his friend. "No, please," he sobbed. "Please d-don't take another friend from m-me..." 

Remus felt his knee's give way. Logan had managed to pry Remus's hands away, taking Nero to another bed he had summoned. Oh god, they were taking his friend away... no, no, no... not another... he couldn't lose another. Not after... not after Virgil...

He became aware of Emile, gripping his shoulders tightly. "Remus. Remus, look at me." 

The creative side snapped his head up. Emile knelt in front of him, a first aid kit at his side as he pulled on a pair of gloves. "I'm going to fix up your arm now, okay? Just like how Logan's fixing Nero. You'll be fine, everything is fine..." he trailed off.

But everything wasn't fine.

Virgil was dead.

Honesty was loose.

Lust was still dying, among other things.

This was not good.

______________________________________

Honesty smiled, placing a light kiss on Virgil's forehead. "Coast is clear. You can stop pretending now, dear."

Virgil opened his eyes. Honesty had brought him back to the old house in the imagination, where the sins had lived. He was holding a hot cloth to a bump on Virgil's head, and smiling politely. "And I thought that the creative twins were the actors," he whistled appreciatively. "You did incredibly. Though it seems like you hit your head when you fell to the ground."

"You... you shot Nero in the back."

Honesty shrugged his shoulders. "Ahh, he'll be fine. And so will Remus. If they hop along to Logan fast enough, I'm sure the situation will be sorted out."

Virgil sat up quickly, rubbing the back of his head. Fuck," he mumbled, his hands trailing to his aching eardrums. "The blanks were loud."

"Aww, I know," Honesty said, dipping the cloth in a warm bowl of water before handing it to Virgil to tend to himself. "But hey, now they think you're dead! They can't be mad at the dead! I know how worried you were about that, after this morning."

"If they believe this... they'll be heartbroken," the anxious side whispered, hugging his knees. His mind flooded with images. Janus sobbing. Apathy asking what had happened to him. Patton fading, his heart crushed...and Remus, who had defended him, even in his 'death' to Honesty...

Honesty wrapped an arm reassuringly around the other side. "Of course they will be. But at least that's one less thing to worry about!" He kissed Virgil again, walking over to the doorway. "I'm going to take a shower; Remus's dungeon was vile. If you want to join me, you may~" he offered, but his expression sunk when Virgil shook his head, choosing instead to look out the window. Honesty left the room, scowling.

Virgil felt sick. "I'm sorry," he cried, speaking to the air and hugging himself, trying to avoid the painful, cold loneliness that filled the nearly vacant house. "I'm so, so sorry. I... I didn't have a choice..."


	8. My Life's Okay- Yeah, Just When You're Not Around Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, ya'll! Sorry this took so long, I had to take a mini-break for mental health purposes. But we're back now and doin' well! Here's a new chapter.
> 
> [Chapter Warinings]
> 
> -descriptions of underage rape (not graphic)  
> -slut-shaming, weight shaming

Lust hadn't seen blackness when he fell into Patton's arms. He saw little flickers of memories- mostly bad, unfortunately, scraps of dreams he had had long ago. Things he had shoved back in his mind, praying he wouldn't have to revisit. But here he was, reliving every icky second of it.

Lust had been the last of the seven deadly sins to form in the mindscape and the third youngest of the sides, with only Virgil and then Apathy after him. Thomas had been young- perhaps 11? 12? He couldn't remember now. He had formed wearing a white smock, a matching undershirt, and soft purple shorts- everyone had said he was a nice-looking child, even though they all looked nearly the same. Lust had always just glowed brighter. A happy, excited, curious child. It didn't last.

Honesty and Janus were the first sides that he met that day. "Hello!" Honesty had exclaimed, clapping his hands together. He had been around nearly the longest, and he explained that he was 'in charge' of the 'light sides'. (Not that Lust had really understood much of what the peppy teen was saying). Janus had been quiet and polite, getting down on his knees to be level with Lust and offering him a hand to shake. 

"What's your name?" Honesty had asked, tipping back and forth on his heels. 

He had thought for a moment before the word came to him. He wasn't sure quite what it meant, but he knew it to be his name. "Lust, I think."

Honesty had been frustrated. Very frustrated. "It's not fair!" He had grumbled, kicking the ground. "You've got the last 6 newbies, Dee! Let me have this one-"

"Exactly, it would be healthy for him to be around other sides his age. Also, I didn't get the last 6; you got creativity a last a June." Janus had said softly, straightening his shirt. He hadn't worn a hat back in those days, or gloves, and the memory was a bit funny.

"Yes, but then he split!" Honesty had argued, but it was clear that Janus had stopped listening.

"I hardly think you need to be so cross over this. Aren't you content with Logic, Morality, and the half of Creativity you have? What does Lust mean to you, Honesty?"

Honesty had pouted, stomping off. He remembered Janus leading him down the corridors of the dark side hallways, past doors of many different colors- his first day as a side had been nice, he supposed. Janus had been nice, the other sins had been rather loud, rambunctious children-but it certainly wasn't bad.

Times changed. Honesty and Janus continued to hate one another and kept as separate as they could manage. Janus, however, didn't slander the 'light sides' the way Honesty did to the darks. Honesty stirred up war as Patton sided with Janus about keeping the dark sides a secret from Thomas until he was ready to handle them. Honesty had disagreed. Perhaps it was easier to listen to Honesty. What he said was bound to be correct, he couldn't lie! He said he wanted what was best for them, that Janus wanted to stifle them. Nero and Remy hadn't listened. Lust wished he had followed their example, so, so badly... But the others already didn't like him as much. He had to join the squad- or at least he had believed so then.

And they had lost. Memories swam in his mind of that fateful day when the sins and Honesty had been shoved into the imagination, their powers stripped from them. And still, Honesty didn't waver. He was the Peter Pan to their lost boys- and for a little while, things had seemed to go okay. But he missed Janus and Remus and Nero and Remy, he missed the noisy evenings and game nights, he missed those rare opportunities when he got to interact with Patton, Roman or Logan, or even the newest side, who had only just appeared before they left; Paranoia.

He missed them. And it only got worse. Lust had still been a young teen when Honesty had- 'oh no, not these memories, anything but these,' he begged his mind. 'Please, please no...' but it flooded his semi-conscious mind nonetheless. Pride, the oldest of the sins and Honesty's best friend (later, boyfriend) had come to his room one evening. "Honesty wants to see ya," Pride had said as he leaned in through the doorframe. Lust had put down the magazine he was reading through and wandered to Honesty's office.

"You asked to see me?" Lust asked, rubbing some of the tiredness from his eyes. It was late, and the room was dark and-

He had been grabbed in the dark, his back pinned against the wall. He had tried to scream, but a hand had clamped under his mouth. "Hush now, there's no need for that."

He hadn't stopped, so Honesty had fished a knife from his pocket. It glimmered in the moonlight from the window, the cold blade pressed against his neck. He had cried out, gasping as Honesty kissed him firmly. "Wh- what are you..." mumbled Lust when Honesty pulled away.

"You've slept with the others, haven't you?" Honesty asked boredly, his hands sliding along Lust's curvier frame, inspecting his figure. "I can't imagine they'd want to, with a figure like this."

Lust's face fell, curling in on himself a little. "It's not like I'm unhealthy, I'm just a little heavier than the others- Gluttony's much bigger, you know, though I am shorter than him... but Janus said I didn't have to worry about it-"

"And you believe him?" laughed Honesty, pushing him harder against the wall, making it difficult for him to breathe. "You're so sickening. What with a body like this, the fact that you let as many sides are as willing between your legs- don't even get me started on your personality."

"what?" Lust had asked, still in shock and frozen in terror as Honesty's hands rested over his body, the old side using his hips and the blade to press him into the wall. "No no! I mean, I've made out with Greed, I exchanged handjobs with Gluttony and Pride-"

"What about me?" Honesty asked his breath on Lust's neck sending shivers through him.

"You, sir?" Lust had asked, the terror he felt seeping into his voice. Honesty laughed.

"Yes, me. I want my turn," he had said, his lips slamming against the young teen's. Lust tried to wriggle away, pushing with all his might against the older side. But it was no use. Even as he begged Honesty to stop, he did not, and it hurt.

And he had sobbed, when it was all finished, his body and heart hurting as he begged his friends to listen, to care. But they didn't. Whether they didn't believe him or they thought it was just; it didn't matter. Nobody cared. And it happened over. And over. And over again. Honesty took what he wanted- and even when the other sins heard Lust's sobs and cries, what were they supposed to do? Honesty was in charge, and if they spoke up, well, who's to say what he'd have done to them. At least, that was what they had told themselves.

And then he was free of Honesty. The side was imprisoned in the deepest, darkest grimiest place to offer, and Lust got to be free of him. What relief it had been! ...Then his mind turned to Virgil. His low chuckle, his dark-rimmed eyes, and messy hair, his tender sarcasm...

But now, Honesty had him. Honesty had taken another thing away. Lust could never compete with Honesty- the man always got what he wanted. And if Honesty wanted Virgil... he'd have him. The light in Lust had finally, completely, died out.

Lust felt himself being ripped back into the world, the soft lull of pain from the arsenic shooting through him. Everything hurt, and as forced himself to open his eyes, for a brief moment, he was confused. Was this Hell? Had he gone to hell?

...no, it couldn't be. Nero was lying on his stomach in the bed next to him, unconscious, and he spotted Remus curled up in a ball in the corner. Emile was crouched at his side, talking to him, but it didn't seem to make a difference. 

"What...," Lust coughed, his voice dry and hoarse. "What happened?"

Suddenly, Logan was sitting next to him. He looked tired, his eyes wet with tears. "You aren't in a state where it would be healthy to discuss it with you. Perhaps after you sleep a little more-"

"No," Lust hummed, sighing deeply and poking the IV that was in his arm. "I know ya'll aren't sad over me. What happened? Why is Nero hurt?"

Emile got up from his place next to Remus, coming over and sitting at Lust's bedside. "Lust, a lot has happened this morning, I'm afraid. Bad things happened, people got hurt, and..." he rubbed tears out of his eyes, looking away from Lust so he wouldn't see the man's expression. "Honesty escaped. And... and he, according to Remus... killed Virgil."

And like that, Lust shattered. It was like he was a stain glass window that had been blown apart by a canon. "Virgil's... dead?" he repeated, his eyes glazing over a bit. Lust pulled the blankets off of his lower half. He still wore his old white shorts, and though it caused him immense pain to do so, he stood up, yanking out the IV. Both Emile and Logan moved to stop him, but Lust lazily waved them away while also clutching Emile's arm for support. "He... he can't... no..."

He stumbled away as the two sides spoke to him, urging him back into the bed. But his mind was ringing- was it the poison or the thoughts? He couldn't tell. Lust didn't cry- he just muttered to himself, an incomprehensible string of 'no's' and 'it can't be's.' Emile and Logan managed to get him back to sitting on the side of the bed, where they spoke softly, trying to reach him. But Lust just couldn't understand.

"Where's the body?" he asked, his voice so soft and fragile, unable to meet their eyes. He needed to see it. So he could know it was true.

Logan bit his lip. "I'm afraid that Honesty has taken the body, Lust. But we don't have the resources to deal with that right now. The state of Remus, Nero, and yourself are currently more pressing."

"Then a murderer and a rapist?" mumbled Nero as he slowly opened his eyes, groaning in pain from the bullet wound on his back. "Look, I'd much rather suffer than know he's out doing who knows's what. Oh, and by the way, Lust; I really love the boots. That was super thoughtful of you."

Rapist. The word pierced through his mind, stinging him further into reality. It cut through the mind-numbing confusion of Virgil's death, or his attempted suicide, of everything. Nero must know, then. He must know what Honesty had done to him...

His train of thought tumbled from its tracks as Janus rapped on the frame of the open door and entered, followed by a crying Patton and seemingly numb Remy. Janus ran to Remus, dropping to his knees with a painful thud at his husband's side, holding him tightly. Patton took Logan's attention, and Remy took Emile's.

"Lust?" Came a voice, and the side looked over to see Nero, who had stretched out a shaky hand from the bed next to him. Lust hesitated before taking it. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what? None of this is your fault," he said, waving his hand at the room.

"I'm sorry about how much pain you've felt. I know how terrible you have to feel to try and kill yourself, Lust, and I am so sorry that Honesty put you through everything he did. I wish I could've been there to support you, or that I could've seen you were struggling, or-"

Lust silenced the rambling fellow sin with a soft squeeze to his hand. "It's all my fault, Wrath, not yours. Everything that's happened to me was my fault, so don't go feeling bad about it."

"Wait," said Nero, attempting to prop himself up on the pillows a little more and wincing. "You think you deserve how you were treated? Lust-"

"What? I'm Lust. I'm a slut, everyone thinks so. It was only a matter of time before somebody... and I should've been thankful, that somebody even wanted me that way, with the way I look; the way I am..." he trailed off, a tear running down his numb cheeks. he sighed, rubbing it away. "Don't pity me. I've always been a weak, sappy bastard, of course, I'd try something stupid like this and fail."

There was a pause. Nero looked heartbroken as he stared at the other side, holding his hand tighter. "Lust... there's nothing wrong with you! You're thoughtful and fun and handsome- whatever crap Honesty has been telling you isn't true. You don't deserve any of this. After everything that's happened to you- you can't expect us to be mad or upset with you for being the victim of so many horrible things!"

"Oh, but they were upset." Lust murmured, sighing softly.

"Who?" Nero asked, praying the answer wouldn't be what he thought it was.

"The other sins. When I told them that I needed help- they said I was lying, or that I should've enjoyed it, or that I deserved it... what was I supposed to think? I mean, I was hardly 14 the first time, and none of them cared..."

"14?" Nero whispered, and there was such a strange expression on his face that Lust was afraid to look. Nero wasn't the type to pity or comfort. But he was the justice seeker- just as he had been all his life. "God, as soon as I see that sick bastard, I will turn him back to the ash that he sprung from, that piece of shit..." 

Nero collected himself a little, rubbing the wetness from his eyes on the pillow and then looking back at Lust. "I promise you, Lust. We'll take care of you. You don't have to be afraid anymore."

And perhaps that might have made him feel a little better, in other circumstances. But he already wasn't afraid. Honesty had stolen away his Anxiety, what more could he lose? 

He was so fragile, so numb- he couldn't feel anything.


	9. I Will See You Screaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! Lot's of warnings for this chapter, folks! Not a happy one.
> 
> [CHAPTER WARNINGS]
> 
> -description's of torture, including but not limited too:  
> -Drowning  
> -starvation  
> -forced consumption of boiling water  
> -rape  
> -gaslighting  
> -mentions of suicide attempt

It was Roman's job to explain to Apathy that Virgil was dead. Apathy had so admired the anxious side, that when Emile had asked Roman to do it, he almost said no out of fear. How was he supposed to explain that Virgil- sweet, sassy, loving Virgil- was never coming back?

He brought Apathy to the imagination, where he took a blanket and set it out on the grassy bank of a babbling brook. The sky was grey, faded with the mood of the sides, and definitely warranted. Apathy picked a flower, slowly picking off the petals. "Something's wrong," the child said, fixated on the flower. "Everyone's been upset all morning. What happened?"

Roman sighed, putting his fingers through his hair as if to stall. How was he supposed to answer this? Why couldn't it have Patton or Emile? They could deal with kids! "What do you think happened?"

Apathy let the petals he had picked dance away on the breeze before starting another one. "Bad energy from Lust. Patton said he's sick- I'm guessing it's the same type that Nero had before? Logan said the word was 'suicidal' ". 

Roman nodded once. Apathy continued. "Lust has been sad. So has Virgil. Now Lust is hurting and Virgil went away, didn't he?"

Roman's eyes, which he had been working hard to keep from showing tears, failed him. "Virgil... Virgil's not coming back. He... he's dead."

"Dead?" Apathy asked, looking up from his flower inquisitively.

"Yes, dead. Honesty... Honesty got out. He killed Virgil." Roman had to choose his wording carefully. He didn't want to tarnish the name of the dead by telling Apathy that Virgil had helped get Honesty get free in the first place- but it was so painful. He wasn't sure how to feel- angry, confused, scared- but overall, it was just sadness. So much sadness.

Apathy sat still as a stone for a moment, his small hand clenched around the flower. He didn't look at Roman- he just stared down at his lap, lost in thought. "He doesn't feel dead," the child said after a long moment.

"I know it's hard to understand, App, I'm so sorry. Virgil will always be in our hearts, just like Pride-" Roman began, but Apathy shook his head.

"No, that's not what I mean. Can't you feel it?" Apathy asked, waving his hand in the air.

"Feel what? Apathy, I don't understand."

Apathy sighed heavily, dipping his fingers in the brook. "I'm talking about Thomas. You remember how he was after Pride died- he could hardly move, he was so broken up. Thomas isn't feeling anything like that right now. "When he caught Roman's skeptical look, he rolled his eyes. "I'm Apathy, dad. I know what Thomas is or isn't feeling."

Roman was taken aback. Apathy never called him dad- at least not to his face. The fatherly term of endearment was reserved for Janus exclusively- though even he was called Dee, or just his name most of the time. He had always just been called Ro when Apathy had lived with him and Nero; it had shifted to Roman when he went to live with Janus and Remus- and now dad? Roman looked at the small boy. His eyes held that unamused and rather lacking childish-ness expression that they usually did, but his expression was pleading. "Just ask Thomas how he feels. Or maybe Patton. But I know I'm right. Virgil's not dead."

Roman sighed, standing up and offering a hand to Apathy, who teleported them back to the mindscape. He sat the child down on the sofa, taking the remote from Greed and giving it to Apathy. "Don't worry, I'll get this sorted out, buddy." He gave two clearly unconfident thumbs-ups, and wandered down the hall, trying to think. 

Could it be possible? Remus had seen Virgil killed with his own two eyes- Nero had heard it happen- but was it possible they had been tricked? He didn't want to get his hopes up, but... why else would Honesty have taken the body? If he had really wanted to 'taunt them' as had been suggested, wouldn't he have left it there for everyone to see?

He walked right into somebody in his distraction. "Oh! I'm terribly sorry- Lust?"

Lust was standing there, his arms wrapped around himself in a tight hug. He looked frazzled and confused, somehow paling even worse when he saw Roman. "P-please... please don't tell... I'm not supposed to be out." he stammered, seeming on the brink of a breakdown.

"Lust, why are you out of bed? You can't possibly be well enough, I'm sure Logan and Emile will have a fit if they-"

Lust shook his head quickly, seeming to shrink in on himself. "Roman, please. I can't- I can't go back in there. Everyone's crying- your brother's in shock, so I only just managed to get away with him as a distraction. I need, I need..."

"What? Let me help you, Lust, I don't want you getting hurt."

Lust shakily waved his hand, summoning himself some black pants, hiking boots, and a long jacket. It made Lust look so dull and different; Roman was taken aback. "I can't tell you what I'm doing; you'll try and stop me."

Roman's heart rate skyrocketed. "Oh god, Lust, please! We really care about you- I'm so sorry you've had your heartbroken, or that you've been mistreated, but don't do anything based on temporary feelings!"

Lust stared at him blankly for a moment. "What are you... oh, I'm not going to try and kill myself again today, if that's what you're thinking."

Roman didn't like that the word 'today' was tacked on at the end of the sentence, but he didn't comment on it. "Then.. what are you doing?"

Lust looked around quickly to see if anyone else was there. Finding none, he bit his lip, speaking in a low voice. "I'm going to get Virgil back."

The creative side sighed, crossing his arms. "Virgil's dead, Lust, I'm sorry."

Lust shrugged, and Roman could see just how in denial he was. "Be that as it may, if I don't find Virgil alive, I'll kill Honesty." He said it so casually, if it had been a different circumstance, Roman might have laughed at the seriousness of the statement. 

"Lust, that's ridiculous, I can't let you go do that by yourself!"

"Come with me then. Virgil was your friend, and you probably have the best fighting experience of anyone here." Lust wasn't intending to flatter Roman, but he blushed nonetheless.

"This is ridiculously dangerous."

"Oh come on, you want to prove yourself, don't you? Show everyone you've grown; how better of a person you are now?"

It should've been no surprise that Lust was such a good tempter. He knew just what to say, didn't he? Roman needed to prove to everyone- especially Janus, Nero, Remus, and Apathy- that he was better. He didn't have the right to ask for forgiveness, but he would do anything to soften the pain he had caused. "Fine. Deal."

____________________________________________________

The Sin's old home in the imagination was cold, being made of so much stone. Honesty didn't seem to notice, but it kept Virgil up at night. That, and many other things.

Did Honesty really care about him?

The question plagued his mind, minute after minute, hour after hour. Honesty claimed he loved him- and he couldn't lie! But then why did it feel so fake?

It was now Christmas evening, and Honesty was sitting at his desk, pouring over maps of the imagination. Virgil wandered in, clearing his throat. "Honesty?"

"Yes?" he said, not looking up.

Virgil walked over, nervously massaging his lover's shoulders from behind. "Do you love me?"

Honesty chuckled. "Of course, my darling."

Virgil took a deep breath. "If you love me, won't you tell me your name? It feels... impersonal just calling you Honesty."

The older side's face twitched, and for a fraction of a second, his eyes flickered with that same madness Virgil saw when he killed. But it went away, and Honesty looked up at him, smiling. "Virgil, I'm not ready to tell people my name. I love you, and because I cannot lie, I will tell you if you insist, but I ask that you drop the question for the time being."

The anxious side's expression fell, and he looked at his feet. "Oh... I'm- I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was sensitive for you-"

Honesty laughed, a short, awkwardly sweet laugh, (one Virgil knew was forced) and stood up from his desk, turning around and giving Virgil a kiss. "I'm not angry. But why do you think it's impersonal to call me Honesty?"

Virgil blushed. "Well, Uhm... when Janus married Remus, he told him his name. I wasn't sure if you kept your name as secret as he did."

Honesty despised being compared to the deceitful side, but he tried not to let it show. "Dear, I'll come to bed in an hour, why don't you go get comfortable, hmm? Relax. I'm sure you could find some books to flip through in the library; Pride liked to read." And with that, he shooed Virgil from the room. 

The anxious side wandered the halls for a while, letting the moonlight soak him in its icy glow. He missed the others. Normally at this time of night, they'd be watching a movie, or baking or...

Virgil paused. They wouldn't have been doing those things with him. They had forgotten his birthday, it wasn't as if they'd be dying for him to come back, just so they could ignore him again. It hurt to think about it.

Maybe he should take Honesty's offer of the Library up after all. Virgil found the library fairly quickly- it was smaller than the one Logan kept, but had plenty of things nonetheless. 'Pride liked to read,' echoed Honesty's voice as Virgil looked around. It made him feel... gross, being compared to Pride. Pride was a good person. Pride had died trying to save Apathy. Pride... how could he have deserved to die?

His mind was numb. Had Pride deserved to die? Had Lust deserved to be raped? Had- oh god, what had he done to the others? A spark of fear lit in Virgil's chest. Honesty had promised he wouldn't hurt him. He promised! And yet, he was still so full of doubt...

A series of volumes caught Virgil's attention. They were color-coded, though all of the same style; names scratched into the spine. Pride, Greed, Gluttony, Envy, and Lust. The five sins that had lived with Honesty for over 15 years- nearly half of Thomas's life. Virgil was struck with curiosity, so he flipped on the small lamp at the table in the corner of the room, and pulled down the first volume, entitled 'Pride'.

He flipped to the first page.

****

August 13, 1996

Pride (Prometheus) Sanders- the first of the 'sins' as Morality refers to them- is thus far my favorite of the group I have been banished to the imagination with. It is obvious the others admire him most; I will use that to my advantage. It seems the one we call Envy is infatuated with him. I'll be sure to break that up as soon as possible- it's important they are all aware of their place.

****

Virgil stopped reading. So these were... Honesty's notes? On the others? He felt uncomfortable seeing Pride's name on the page- as if he didn't have the right to be seeing it. And yet, this seemed exactly what he was looking for.

The anxious side flipped forward ways.

****

November 2, 2001

Pride has fallen in love with me! I do not trust it, as he seems so uncomfortable with the correctional methods I use on the other sides, but he need not worry. He's my favorite, though I won't hesitate to-

****

Virgil slammed the book shut. Oh god- so he had hurt the other sins. What had he done? he grabbed the next book on the shelf- Greed. He did not look at the first page- he didn't want to see Greed's name, it wouldn't be fair to learn it without his permission, flipping through the book until a word caught his eye. 'Dragon Witch.'

****

March 3, 2002

The Dragon Witch, as Creativity used to call them, has been getting on my nerves as of late. Apparently Greed strayed into their territory on his night watch, and they sent word to me. It is rather exhausting to punish Greed, but we were fortunate enough to have a river close by. Greed used to cry when I held him underwater until he passed out- I am confused and vexed that he no longer is upset. Perhaps he is learning to stop making so many mistakes.

****

Drowning? Virgil sat back in his chair, feeling sick. Honesty- his Honesty- had done this? How could he? A little voice in the back of his mind spoke up. 'This is also the man who killed Pride. Are you surprised?'

He pulled Gluttony's from the shelf, his hand's shaking a little as he flipped into the book.

****

September 16, 2002

I'm getting rather tired of finding Gluttony in the kitchen at night, his grubby hands stuffed into some food or another. Deceit and Morality used to argue with me that 'teaching healthy eating habits' would solve the problem. Starvation is easy enough. I see the others are disconcerted when I make Gluttony sit at the table with the rest of us day after day, refusing him meals as they hear him whimper. A good reminder, I imagine, that their best behavior is expected.

****

This was horrible. Honesty had abused the younger sides instead of teaching them. How was he going to treat Virgil? Next was Envy's.

****

April 29, 2005

I'm glad that, after much difficulty, Envy's 'mistakes' have become less frequent. However, yesterday he did protest when he walked in and saw me 'playing' with Lust. Boiling water is such a hassle, but at least when I have Envy drink it, he cannot speak. Perhaps he will hold his tongue in the future.

****

Virgil reached up to grab Lust's volume from the shelf when a hand grabbed his. Honesty stood there, smiling wide. "Hello, darling! Catching up on some old history, aren't we?"

Virgil scrambled away from Honesty's touch, his breathing speeding up. "You... you tortured them! They were children, and you... you..."

Honesty shrugged. "I'm sorry that my method of parenting doesn't measure up to however Janus and Patton took care of you. I did my best," he paused, opening his arms. "I told you I'd never hurt you, Virgil. There's no need to be afraid."

Virgil laughed- half from panic, half from the absurdity of the comment. "No need to be afraid?! I'm Anxiety! Of course, I'm fucking afraid! When I stop doing what you want, what are you going to do to me, Honesty? Drown me? Make me drink boiling water? Rape me?!" he gestured to the remaining book on the shelf, Lust's name glittering in the light of the moon that came through the windows.

"Oh come now Virgil, you know it's not like that! I love you!"

"The same way you loved Pride?!"

Honesty bit his lip, calming himself so he wouldn't say something he didn't want to. "Virgil, I... you're not like the others. Don't say things you don't understand, I know you're smarter than that. Whether you see me as a lover or an enemy, you're stuck with me now. After everything you've done, do you think darling Morality or Deceit will want you back?" Virgil's face fell. Honesty walked over, wrapping an arm around the anxious side. "So cooperate as I ask, and everything will be fine, yes?"

Honesty kissed Virgil, long and a little aggressively. "Now, why don't you join me in bed, hmm? You might as well make the most of the time you spend with me because I'm the only person left in the mind who'll have your back."

Numbly, Virgil followed. So he had been wrong. Honesty was a monster.

What had he done?


	10. Daddy's Little Defect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, my readers. Been a little bit, hasn't it? Well, assuming you've seen my last update, I won't reiterate why I was gone. But I'm back! (BTW, the song by Sugarcult is the inspiration for the chapter title). Let's get right into this!
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]
> 
> -child abuse  
> -panic attacks  
> -misgendering  
> -nonspecific descriptions of assault of minors  
> -tbh you know the drill by now, I'm really tired, so I'll just leave it here with the warnings

It was a stormy evening. The Dragon Witch loved miserable weather, it was good for keeping other's away. Unfortunately, today didn't seem to follow that routine.

They should've known when they saw two sides braving the terrible storm through the mind. The Dragon Witch swooped down, landing softly in a tree where they could hear their conversation in secret.

"We can't just wander aimlessly, Narcissus!" called Prince Roman over the wind. 

The DW was startled. Lust? How delightful! They hadn't seen Lust in what felt like forever... but the man that Roman must have been speaking too was hardly the same bright young man as they had known.

Lust spun to face him, grabbing Roman's collar. "Don't you ever call me 'Narcissus' again, or I will hurt you, do you understand?" His voice was shaky but neither Roman nor the Dragon Witch seemed to doubt the threat.

"Woah, okay. Jeeze, what's wrong with your name? You signed the note with it, anyways," Roman said, straightening his clothes has Lust let him go. He trudged on after Lust, who had already hurried onward.

"I signed the note with it because I thought it would be useful information for my tombstone, not for you to use willy nilly when I failed, Roman," Lust murmured, stopping to look out over the trees and into the distance, where he saw the sin's old house. "And I don't doubt he'll be there- if he isn't, at least, I can look for any other evidence and then set it on fire."

Roman sighed. "Why do you want to set it on fire, again?"

"It'd be therapeutic."

"Ahhh. But anyway, in regards to the note," Roman said, tripping over a rock and nearly falling face-first into the mud. "You said it was his fault. We all assumed you meant Honesty, but what- I mean, besides murdering Pride and being an all-around ass- did he even do?"

Lust froze, Roman almost bumping into him. He stepped around to see the sin's face- even the dragon witch could tell from their perch- his eyes were glossy and far off; his body trembling a little. "He... he..."

Roman reached out, gripping Lust's hand. "I'm sorry I asked, let's just sit down, okay? You look like you need a bit of rest anyway."

He led Lust to sit under the base of the tree the Dragon Witch had perched in- luckily for them, neither of the sides saw them. Roman apologized frantically- he clearly didn't even know what for- when Lust began to cry. "It's not your fault, R-roman. You have every right to be curious."

"Lust, you don't have to tell me anything, it's alright," Roman said, rubbing circles on the sins back as he seemed to slightly de-tense.

"No... you should know. I think it'd make sense to you more than most," Lust took a long, deep breath. "We were young when we were banished. Honesty was the oldest- he was in charge, you know. Just as Patton was the 'dad' of the light sides or Janus of the dark sides- Honesty watched over us banished. He told us he loved us every day, that he was watching out for us, that everything he did was so that we could thrive, and yet..."

Lust paused, finally making eye contact with Roman. "We were always misbehaving. So, he said, we had to be punished. Oh, it started with beatings, and they were never particularly terrible. But as we got older... he got more creative. I can't even remember what it was I did to provoke him, but... I remember his hands. His lips, his..." Lust shuddered, choking on the last word. He didn't need to finish; it was clear what Honesty had done.

"He never stopped, not until the day Morality let us come and stay with the rest of you. I think he simply got bored, most of the time... he liked to inflict pain. He got so upset when Greed got to numb to cry and struggle when Honesty would hold his head underwater; he became even more methodical. Setting us up to fail his little 'rules.' And he was selective- one night, Pride, Gluttony, and I were caught stealing from the cookie jar. Pride was his favorite- he was almost never punished. He told me I was off the hook as well- it wasn't me he had wanted to punish that night. All sins are not equal- it was all his whims."

The Dragon Witch didn't hear what response Roman gave, but his tone was compassionate. Their mind was reeling- searching for the signs that Honesty and the sins might've given, in all their time banished, that he was torturing them.

The Dragon Witch remembered the first time he met Honesty. The side had dragged along the sins- his little entourage- to the DW's cave. "What are you doing here, side?"

Honesty had chuckled, letting go of Pride's hand and reaching forward, taking and kissing the DW's hand. "I merely wanted to meet my new neighbor! We have been banished, after a little spat with the others- hardly an appropriate punishment, I'd say- to the house on the other side of the river. And might I just add... you're a very, very handsome man!"

The DW ripped their hand away. "First off, bitch, I'm non-binary, so they/them pronouns. Secondly, I am fully aware of who you are- you've introduced yourself, now return to your 'home.'"

Honesty had paused- most people never spoke to him that way. The sins seemed uneasy as if the challenge of their leader was unheard of. Honesty unfroze, laughing. "Oh, of course! My sincerest apologies. I look forward to seeing you again in the future."

"I sure don't, bitch." The Dragon Witch had retorted.

The sin called Envy had giggled. It did not escape the DW's attention how when Honesty looked to him, he had frozen, laughter dying in his throat as he looked at his shoes. "Farewell then." Honesty had said, his eyes twinkling with a deadly sort of joy, leading the sins from the cave. And, as the Dragon Witch had seen when they had gotten nearly back to their own building- Honesty had beaten Envy. Badly. 

Just for laughing... it was wicked. How could the DW not have realized that it got so much worse than that? "I... I'm so sorry..." Roman's voice said, interrupting their thoughts. "You didn't have to tell me, but I'm glad I understand. I promise I will help you get Virgil back if he's still alive."

Lust nodded slowly, rubbing his eyes. "You know how it is, don't you? When people don't listen to you, and you treat them badly. You didn't do that because you hated Nero or Remus or Janus or Apathy, right?"

Roman sighed, biting his lip. "Lust... Honesty and I are different people, and I can't speak for him. I did hate Remus, for a time. I hated that he had Janus and that I didn't. I hated Janus. I hated that he loved Remus when I thought I was in someway so superior. I hated Nero. I hated that he hated himself, that he kept trying to kill himself, that he cared more for Apathy than me. And I did, I think, hate Apathy. I hated that he didn't love me when I was his dad. But... I was wrong. I was jealous, and I acted horribly. I made terrible mistakes, and I don't expect them to forgive me. But because I do really love them... I want them to be happy. I want to make them feel better- and I'll do whatever I can to take away some of that pain. With Honesty... he may not hate you, but I wouldn't call his feelings 'love' either. If he loved you, or anyone else... he would stop trying to hurt you."

The distant fogginess in Lust eye's cleared up. He nodded slowly. "You... you're right. Thank you, Roman."

Roman smiled, and they continued to chat for a time, but the DW had heard enough. They were done. It was time to deal with that son of a bitch Honesty. The Dragon Witch lept into the air, taking flight. 

Honesty needed to die.


	11. Love Me, Love Me, Say That You Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got nothin' to say, enjoy the chapter.
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]
> 
> -Blood  
> -misgendering  
> -Rape Non-con (Nothing explicitly described)

The Dragon Witch landed heavily on the lawn of the big house, drawing their staff carefully out and using the knob to knock on the door. After a moment, it cracked open, to reveal... Virgil. Ahh, so he wasn't dead, the Dragon Witch thought, crossing their arms. "Where is he?"

Virgil paled, looking around the yard. "I'm not supposed to talk to you," Virgil whispered, his voice tense and sad. "Please go." He moved to close the door, but the Dragon Witch stopped it with their arm.

"Look, you need to make a decision here, Virgil. Prince Roman and Lust are on their way to rescue you. Unless I interfere, there's no doubt in my mind they will both be killed. Allow me to settle this."

Virgil bit his lip, seeming to be murmuring some silent prayer, and opened the door wider, signaling that they could pass. The Dragon Witch shouldered past him, making their way down the long corridor and up the stairs, barging into the side's office.

Honesty stood there, looking just as he did before everything had happened- his bright, silver eyes gleaming to perfectly match his T-shirt and skirt, a sort of manic glee in his wise expression as he stared at the DW from behind his desk. "Aww, if it isn't everyone's least favorite cock-sucking dinosaur! What, did you miss me while I was away, old man?" he cackled, winking to Virgil, who seemed to want to disappear in on himself in the doorway.

"Just because you hate me doesn't give you the right to misgender me, you bastard. It's not like being correctly gendered is some privilege you cis people can take away as you please." The Dragon Witch said, forcing themselves not to Kentucky fry Honesty with their fire breath.

Honesty shrugged, laughing as if he simply couldn't be bothered to try. "Well, what did you come here for then? I'm a rather busy person, and unless you want to be helpful, you might as well be on your way."

"I'm here to save Virgil and keep the others from coming to deal with you," The DW said, slowly adjusting themself into a fighting stance.

Honesty grinned ear to ear with that sickening, nerve-racking smile he often used when he was planning something wicked. "Aww, but why would you do that? I love Virgil more than anything in the world, he wouldn't want to go with you or the others. Isn't that right, Virgil?"

Virgil couldn't seem to make eye contact with either of them- he simply nodded sadly. "Well, then how about just to kill you?" The Dragon Witch hissed, raising their staff and allowing it to glow. "I know what you've done. The way you abused the sins that you called your children; don't think I can stand by while you dare to breathe."

Honesty smiled still, but there was something in the way he was standing, in the look behind his eyes... it was uncharacteristic. "Morality and Deceit left me with them... it's their fault if you think I fucked up so badly." 

"No, Honesty. You're lying!" They shouted, and then hurried to mutter some incantation, pointing their staff at Honesty, and then...

And then Honesty began to choke. He gripped the side of his desk, clutching at his chest with wide eyes... and then collapsed.

Virgil gasped. "What did you do to him?"

"I... I didn't even cast the spell..." The Dragon Witch muttered, and slowly began to walk over, staff still raised.

Virgil was frozen. 'What had happened? Should he run to his side, see if something was wrong? Oh, something must be wrong if Honesty was on the ground and unresponsive! If he was a good boyfriend, he wouldn't even be having this internal dilemma,' he thought, biting his nails as he felt himself slowly succumbing to the overwhelming sensation of panic. 

'This was his chance to run! To go home, to apologize- god, he didn't even know what had happened to Nero and Remus! Nero could have died from his gunshot wound, they'd never want him back! Was he stuck here, with Honesty, forever? He must be, the others wouldn't want him. Honesty had said so, and he couldn't be wrong, could he?' 

Virgil looked over to his unconscious lover. He was pretty when he didn't look evil- Virgil could easily imagine why the other sins had looked up to him enough to try and rebel against Patton and Janus. And this wasn't so different to that. If Honesty had won all those years ago, he would've destroyed Thomas and probably killed the other sides- and because he had lost, he had abused the sins for decades and eventually murdered anyway. What was worse? Him losing or him winning? It seemed it always would play out that way.

The Dragon Witch used the not- lit end of the staff to carefully poke Honesty's chest, muttering to themself. "Did I say the words wrong? No, I couldn't have, I didn't cast anything... did I?"

Honesty's hands flew up, grabbing the end of the staff and using the momentum of his body weight to pull himself to his feet. The Dragon Witch's claws were strong, but it had been unexpected, and Honesty quickly got a hold of it. "You forget, there are other ways to lie, moron!" he cackled creepily, seeming to miss the fact the DW had drawn a dagger from their robes.

The Dragon Witch drove the blade into his shoulder, twisting it hard and then making a grab to regain control of their staff. But Honesty held firm, falling back a few feet out of the DW's reach. "You side's cannot do my magic, fool!" they hissed, looking nervous at the fact that Honesty still held their staff. 

Honesty turned the staff over in his hands a few times, clutching the shoulder of his wound close to the chest. His eyes were frantic and full of energy- it was frightening, to say the least. "perhaps not, but I don't need to!" He laughed, bringing the heavier end of the staff down on the Dragon Witch's head with the same glee that Virgil had seen in Remus's eyes when he would knock Roman out with the morning star.

The Dragon Witch dropped heavily to the ground, a small stream of bright teal blood dripping from the wound that had opened up under the blow. Honesty stood stalk still, for a moment, gazing off into space... before his knees gave way, and he slumped unceremoniously to the ground as well.

Virgil numbly ran over to him, dropping to his knees by the older side. "Oh fuck," he breathed, staring apprehensively at the dagger wound in Honesty's shoulder.

Honesty smiled at him, eerily calm. "Virgil, there's a medkit in the bottom drawer of my desk, would you fetch it please?"

Virgil couldn't move. Oh god... why hadn't he run before, when Honesty was making unconsciousness? Now he had to choose... be a good boyfriend, or just leave him... would Honesty die? The wound looked bad. There was so much blood... it made him queasy, his heartbeat speeding up. Honesty cleared his throat, snapping the fingers of his uninjured side in Virgil's face. "Virgil, I'm waiting."

Virgil found himself on his feet, stumbling to grab the medkit from where Honesty had said it was in the desk. There were many things in the desk... things that only made him sicker. Weapons and torture devices, old photographs- one he spotted was of Honesty, Janus, and Patton, the three of them standing stiffly, like adults despite their clear youth. A black sharpie had been scribbled through both of Patton and Janus's eyes, but it was plenty clear who they were.

There were other old ones that Virgil had never seen. Photos of the King Creativity, when he existed. Of himself, when he was just formed. People he didn't recognize... and of the sins, probably just before being banished. They were lined up, on either side of Honesty, a gross reminder of what was to come- what Honesty would do to him. Virgil clutched the desk, standing shakily and walking over to Honesty.

"Good," he said reassuringly. "Now, there are scissors in the kit, you're going to need to cut open that section of my shirt so you can better access the wound."

"I... I can't." Virgil said, his eyes getting glossy. "There... there's so much... so much blood."

"I am fully aware, I'm the one bleeding," said Honesty with an impatient sigh. "Look, I can do most of it myself if you're so incapable, but I need your help some of the ways."

Virgil slowly nodded, putting his brain on autopilot as he cut open Honesty's shirt, helping him clean it along the way. He was still not present when they finished, dressing the wound when Honesty explained that they were going to lock the Dragon Witch in the cellar because imaginary beasts couldn't be killed the same way sides could.

It wasn't until all was finished, as he felt Honesty cup his cheek in his hand that he snapped back. Honesty had said something. What was it? He looked slightly angry. After a moment, he repeated himself. "Why did you hesitate to help me?"

"What? I didn't-"

Honesty laughed- loud and long, reminding Virgil uncannily of Janus's classic overselling laugh. "Are you seriously trying to lie to me? To me?! I know you fucking hesitated when I faked unconsciousness to draw the DW over. I know you didn't know I was faking- as much as it pains me to say it, the Dragon Witch fell for it, and they're a lot smarter than you."

Honesty let go of Virgil's cheek, leaning against the wall of the corridor. "So tell me, Anxiety. Why'd you hesitated? Did you really think, for a split second, that maybe things could go back to how they were?"

Virgil felt himself shutting down. God, why couldn't he be normal? Why was he falling apart under Honesty's harsh tone- Honesty loved him, he had messed up- oh, didn't he always ruin everything!? "I... I'm sorry."

The older side scoffed. "Oh wow, he's sorry," he mocked. "I'm so sure you are. Virgil, I've already told you. They don't want you back. I'm the only one who loves you- and you were going to cast me away!"

"I'm... I'm sorry! I wasn't, I would never!" He stuttered, sagging in on himself more and more. "Please, let me... let me make it up to you. I'm so sorry, Honesty, please," he begged. Fuck, why did he want Honesty's love? Was it because Honesty always said that he couldn't lie, that he was the only one on his side? After everything the older side had done, why did he want this? It was terrible... and yet...

Honesty smirked, his eyes trailing down and lingering on Virgil's lips before rising back up. "Kiss me."

"What?"

"Kiss me. Prove to me you love me. I do so much for you, it's only fair." So much? What had he done? Some parts of Virgil latched onto the voice of reason, but it was no use. He was at the will of the silver-eyed side now, and what other choice did he have?

Virgil leaned forward, Honesty's breath warm on his lips. He kissed the shorter man softly- like lovers should do- but instead of that mind-nulling tenderness, that soft, warm passion that came with love- Honesty kissed back angrily, too many teeth and tongue to be pleasant. Virgil tried to pull away, but Honesty wouldn't let him- even injured, he was so strong.

When he finally did, Virgil coughed, gasping for air. Honesty grabbed his wrist, tugging him to the ex-light side's bedroom. "Wait, I don't... stop it!" Virgil said, his voice rising in volume. Honesty shoved him back into the bed, climbing on top of him and straddling his waist.

"Why should I stop? I love you so much, you're fun!" He giggled, leaning forward to kiss Virgil more.

"Please, Honesty, I don't want this!"

Honesty rolled his eyes. "You wanted me badly enough before. If I recall, we had sex in my prison cell in the Duke's dungeon, you should be happy for the upgrade! And anyway, don't be a whiney little bitch about this like Lust was, I'd rather this be enjoyable for both of us, not just me."  
Virgil stilled for a moment as Honesty tugged off Virgil's shirt and old hoodie, his mind racing. This was bad, this was bad, this was so very bad! He struggled against Honesty, pulling away as much as he could, but before he knew it, Honesty had drawn the dagger from his skirt pocket, a sheen of his own blood still on it.

"You see Virgil, I do love knives in bed, but I'd rather not have to use it to keep you here. You'll be a good boy for me, won't you?" he said, pressing just the tip against the side's throat. 

There was nothing he could do.

Virgil was broken.


	12. I'm The Bad Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello, my darling plebs! Hope ya'll are staying healthy and clean! I'm not- I'm actually running a fever rn. ANYWAYS- enjoy the chapter!
> 
> [Chapter warnings]
> 
> -mentions of character deaths  
> -strangling (mentioned)  
> -stabbing (mentioned)  
> -descriptions of wounds

Apathy felt... well, quite true to his name. He wasn't allowed to see Remus- apparently, he had been too shaken by watching Virgil die to do much of anything, and Janus was there comforting him. Nero was supposed to be healing, and Logan had asked him to wait until the next day before paying him a visit. Roman had gone off to do something- he wasn't quite sure what- which meant all his favorite people weren't able to spend time with him. It was late- the others had long since fallen asleep- but he was still up. Apathy found Nero's old leather jacket, tugged it over his shoulders, and began to wander down the halls.

It was dark, only somewhat lit by a seemingly sourceless moonlight; a never-ending labyrinth of halls and doors. He wasn't too worried about getting lost- he could always rise up back in the living room whenever he wanted- but it was nice just to wander, to clear his head; to breathe.

There was a noise- at first, Apathy thought his mind was playing tricks on him, but the ugly scratching and scrambling patter of uneven footsteps continued around him. "Hello?" Apathy whispered into the dark, finding that he could see his breath in the suddenly chilly air.

"Hello," came a seemingly sourceless voice, a loud sort of echo that hurt Apathy's head. He held his hands over his ears, looking around. He wanted to rise up at home, but he was paralyzed in fear. He backed up to the wall, sliding down against it, trying to get away from all that noise...

There was a whoosh of wind, and suddenly, Apathy felt the presence of somebody kneeling in front of him. "Hey, little guy!" came a peppy, chilling voice. "Are you okay? Sorry if I scared ya, it's not often that I'm able to manifest a body."

Apathy opened his eyes, slowly removing his hands from his ears. The man who stood there radiated darkness like a fine black ink. He was barefoot, wearing a black tanktop and parachute pants with a long scarf around his neck, his smile scary but not evil. But what really caught Apathy's attention was his eyes. His irises were white and the sclerae were black, adding to the haunted feeling. "Who... who are you?"

"You don't know?" The man asked, tilting his head to the side. "Huh. It figures. The name's Oizys. Oz for short. And you?"

"A-Apathy. Just Apathy," he said, slowly climbing to his feet.

"You must be quite a new side! How exciting," Oz said, clasping his hands together. "I used to be a side, but Morality... oh, that's not important. I'm back now though!" He looked around at the dusty, dark hallway, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"What do you represent, sir?" Apathy asked, quivering a little in the presence of the man. 

"Little old me? Oh, I'm Depression, sweetie!" He giggled. "Say, do you think you could help me get back to the main commons? There are some people I need to get reacquainted with."

Apathy shook his head, tearing his eyes away from Oz's creepy gaze. "My dad says I'm not says I'm not supposed to talk to strangers, I really need to get going..."

Oz pouted. "Awww, really? Who's your dad?"

"Janus."

Oz bit his lip. "I don't know who that is."

"Deceit?" Apathy offered, shaking a little.

"Huh," Oz said, scratching the back of his neck. "I must have been gone a heck of a long time, I don't remember there being a Deceit or a Janus in the mindscape!" He laughed nicely, and if he hadn't looked so scary, maybe Apathy could say that he was friendlier than Patton.

"Anyway, that's totally fine and dandy if ya don't want to show me around, what with stranger danger. I get that, kudos to you for listening to your dad! Uhm, could you at least tell me which way to walk then?" He asked, pointing down both ends of the hallway.

Apathy nodded to the left, unable to speak. Oz smiled, giving him two thumbs-up. "Okay then! Guess I'll see ya around, Apathy!" and the man sprinted off down the long halls. 

Apathy shook himself of some of the dread-filled feelings in his bones, quickly rising up at home. He thundered up the stairs, practically tripping over every step, banging on the door to Logan's room, which had been converted into a sort of makeshift infirmary.

After a moment, Janus opened it groggily. "What the- hey App, what's wrong?" he asked when he caught sight of the terror in the child's eyes. He quickly scooped him up in his arms, closing the door behind them.

It was then that Apathy started to cry. Apathy was not a crier. What was wrong with him? He thought as he frantically struggled to slow his breathing. Janus set him down on the edge of the couch in the corner, rousing Patton, who had been sleeping there, and Logan, who was at his desk. "Baby what's wrong? Where's Roman, he was supposed to be with you."

Apathy could hardly speak. He was shaking in Janus's arms, unable to form sentences. "Scary... scary man. S-scary man with black eyes," he whined, hugging Janus tightly.

Janus smiled softly, petting his hair. "Aww, did you have a nightmare? It's okay, dreams can't hurt you! let's get you some water and go back to bed-"

"No!" Apathy sobbed, looking to Patton pleadingly. "Oz. He said he knew you. He wants to see you again."

Patton's expression darkened, filling with a slight panic. "How do you know that name?"

"He told me," Apathy whimpered.

"That's not... not possible," Patton muttered, taking his glasses off and cleaning them nervously on his sweater. 

"Who are you talking about? Why's it not possible?" Janus asked, his eyes nervous. Logan seemed just as curious.

"Because he's dead!" Patton half-shouted, wincing at the volume when Remus and Nero stirred in their hospital beds.

There was a soft knock on the door. The sides within froze, looking over. "Hellooooooo? Morality!" Oz sing-songed. "I can sense you're in there! Come on, old friend, don't ignore me!" Patton stood, shakily walking toward the door. Logan started to ask what the hell was happening, but Patton shook his head. He braced himself, slowly opening the door. Oz giggled, jumping forward, and- wrapping Patton in a tight hug? "Morality! I missed you so much! Heck, it's been so long! There are more sides now, aren't there? Ah, that's wicked cool, man!"

Patton stood stock still, not making any effort to return the hug. After a second, he managed to shove Depression off him. "What are you... how are you..." he tried to say, seeming unsuccessful.

"Funny story, actually! I imagine Thomathy's been going through some totally not so groovy stuff lately, or at least you guys have because all these nasty feelings brought me back! Say, speaking of nasty, where's Honesty at? I miss his stupid face too!"

Logan and Janus were at a complete loss. "It seems like there's a lot to talk about," Logan said, after a long moment. "There are some relatively fresh Christmas cookies in the kitchen, maybe we can catch up there?"

"Sounds rad, necktie!" Oz grinned, wrapping an arm around Patton's shoulders as Logic led them to the kitchen.

"Are you okay?" Janus asked, looking to Apathy sympathetically. The child nodded, wiping his eyes.

"Yeah. Oz is just scary, that's all."

Janus nodded, cracking a smile. "Yeah. Anyone who uses words like 'groovy' and 'rad' normally is a little scary." This earned a laugh from Apathy. Janus offered him a hand. "Do you want a cookie? I know you don't like Patton's cookies- it was Gluttony who baked these ones. Sure it's late, but-"

"Yes," Apathy quickly agreed, taking Janus's hand and tugging him along to the kitchen. 

Patton was standing there, holding his cookie stock still, staring at Oz-like he was seeing a ghost. Logan looked a bit nervous, but he visibly brightened when Janus and Apathy entered. As soon as they were seated, Logan spoke. "So... you're Depression?"

Oz smiled and agreed. "Yep! You fellas can call me Oz, though, it's short for Oizys."

Logan nodded, summoning a little notebook and scribbling something in it. "I'm Logan, I serve as Thomas's Logic and reason."

Janus outstretched a hand to Depression. The man in black shook it. "I'm Deceit, Apathy's father. I'm also called Janus. And it seems you already know Patton," he said, gesturing to Morality.

Oz nodded, taking a bite out of a tree-shaped Christmas cookie. "Sure do! We go way back. Speaking of which, is Honesty around? See, back when I was around last, it was just him, Pat and I."

"I'm afraid he's quite busy on a homicidal spree in the imagination," Janus said bitterly. "He won't be joining us."

Oz wilted like a flower on a hot day, his cheery demeanor vanishing. "Aww, really? That's awful." And suddenly, like a creepy switch, he was back to peppy. "But not unexpected. You two really haven't changed since I last saw ya, have you?" he said, winking at Patton.

Patton's eyes went wide, a silent pleading for Oz not to continue. "What do you mean, not unexpected?" Logan asked, his eyes flickering between Patton and Oz, drinking in the tension.

"Oh, he didn't tell ya?" Oz giggled, running his hands through his dark hair. "Morality and Honesty killed me!"

There was silence. Patton was frozen in panic and the others in shocked confusion. "...What?" Janus asked.

"Well see, I was the first dark side. Back when it was just Patton, Honesty, and I. The two of them decided Thomas would be happier, better off without me, so Patton strangled me to death while Honesty drove a dagger through my chest!" He laughed, licking the frosting from his cookie and grabbing another off the plate on the table. "Oh, the things ya did for the greater good back then!"

"That's not possible. You're sitting here right in front of us, if that were true, you'd be dead." Logan said. Patton seemed slightly relieved by the disbelief.

"Mhm. Oh! I have proof. Heya Jan, mind covering Apathy's eyes for me? This isn't exactly child friendly." When Janus did so, Oz unwrapped his scarf, revealing dark, grossly bruised handprints on his neck, an impressive mix of purples, blues, reds, greens, and yellows. Logan drew in a frightened breath at the sight. He then pulled up his shirt, showing off a stab wound- it looked practically new on his ashy, cold looking skin. He quickly covered himself back up, and Janus took his hand down from Apathy's eyes.

"Good god... Patton, you..." Janus mumbled, looking at the moral side.

Patton looked disgraced- he couldn't even look at the others. "It was... it was Honesty's idea..." he defended helplessly. "We thought it would make Thomas happier."

"Yep! But, as it turns out, seems like Thomas ain't so happy anymore, huh." Oz asked, shoving another cookie in his mouth. Logan moved the plate away. "Don't worry your pretty heads about it, though. I'm not upset about it."

Patton stood quickly enough to startle the others, tears falling from his eyes. "How can you... how can you not be? I killed you!"

Oz stood, his eyes locked with Patton, a maniac glee filling his expression. "What, is that guilt I smell? Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can take. You cannot kill me in any way that matters, dear." He combed his fingers through his hair, reaching across the table to grab another cookie from the spot Logan had moved it away from him too. "And since it seems that ya'll have a big ol' problem- I assume pertaining to Honesty- it's probably important that I help you."

"What is there to help?" Logan asked, biting his lip. "Honesty could be anywhere, doing who knows what with Virgil's-" he faltered, dropping his gaze and tone with a gulp. "err.. corpse."

"Roman went to find him. Since Lust isn't here and probably hates Honesty's guts, I think they went together to get Virgil back," Apathy said, yawning as he took a bite of his cookie.

Oz chuckled enthusiastically. "I have no idea who any of these people are, but since it's been proven that death doesn't really affect me- or at least that I can be brought back- I'm the best candidate for finding Honesty. Maybe he'll listen to me; maybe not. Who knows."

"Oh yes, because sending the reanimated victim to meet his murderer is bound to have good results," Janus said, rolling his eyes. "Look, it's all well and good that you want to help- I'm sure you have your reasons for why- but we have no reason to trust you. According to you and Patton, you were dead. I don't know about the rest of you, but I find that a bit difficult to trust."

Depression tilted his head to the side. He wandered around the table to Patton, who was still unable to speak or look up and planted a friendly kiss on the moral side's cheek. Patton visibly flinched at Oz's touch, fear, and guilt all too evident in his expression. The others couldn't see it- but Apathy also recognized anger and hatred. This was the man who threatened banishment to him over being a darkside, all those months ago, he remembered. Sure he could be nice, but... was it outside the realm of possibility that he'd commit murder with Honesty if it meant protecting Thomas from this seemingly harmless- though very scary- previously dead side?

"Morality, you know better than anyone that I'm not here to be the bad guy. I would very much like to have a life again, but all things considered, I'm the most expendable. Thomas will be depressed again, just as ya'll are now- I'll be back again as I am now if I die. But most of all, I think I'd like to prove that I'm not your enemy- as so many seem to believe. Would you lovely fellas allow me the opportunity to show you I'm not?"

Logan seemed to overwhelmed by all this new information to answer. His boyfriend- Patton- a murderer? Patton himself was still mute, so it was Janus who answered. "We'll talk about this more with the other's in the morning, but I don't see why not. Depression- Oz- welcome to the team, I suppose."

Janus stood up, picking up the tired child in his arms. "I'm going to put Apathy to bed and then go stay with Remus and Nero for the night- Logan, you've been working all day, you should get some rest."

Logan nodded numbly in agreement. Janus glanced at Patton but chose not to speak to him. "Oz, the sofa is yours tonight, if you wish."

"Oh, thank you very much!" he grinned, waving goodnight at Apathy. Oz then turned to Patton, yawning and stretching. "Waking from the dead sure takes a lot out of a side, wouldn't ya think?" it was almost teasing as if he hoped to make light of the situation-prove he wasn't hurt.

Patton bolted from the room, tears streaming down his cheeks- though not tears of sadness. Oz shrugged, walking to the sofa and nearly instantly falling asleep, leaving Logan at the table alone with his thoughts in the dimly lit kitchen.


	13. I Won't Let You Let Me Down So Easily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! Prepare yourselves, this isn't a happy chapter AT ALL.
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]
> 
> -Gaslighting  
> -suicide  
> -blood and gore  
> -hanahaki disease  
> -mentions of rape/non-con  
> -etc

When Virgil woke up, it was dark. Even the moon did little to light the room- but, thank the gods, he could still tell that he was alone in the room. He was sore and numb and sticky- he felt so violated, so disgusting, so... used. It was terrible. He reached over and turned on the lamp next to the bed, slowly pulling himself out.

Even after a long shower and a good cry, he hardly felt any better. His clothes were dirty, so he begrudgingly tugged on a silver long-sleeved shirt and a pair of pants that went to his mid-calf- jeez, Honesty really was short- and wandered out into the hallway.

Something felt different in the mindscape. Darker, gloomier. Perhaps it was due to what Honesty had done to him, perhaps not. He couldn't say. All he knew was that he didn't want to face Honesty. However, fate was cruel.

Honesty was sitting on the ledge of an open window in the front of the house, using a spyglass to look out into the dim early morning. "Roman and Narcissus seem to be making good time," he hummed, glancing over at Virgil and smiling. "You look nice in my clothes, by the way, darling."

Virgil blushed, pushing down the passing thought of shoving Honesty out the window. Honesty waved him over, holding up the spyglass with a soft fondness- as if what he had done had been merely a figment of Virgil's imagination- for Virgil to take a look. Silently, Virgil went forward, shaking hands grabbing the spyglass and silently looking out into the expanse of imagination. Sure enough, there was Roman and Lust- an odd pair for the quest, most definitely- making their way toward the building.

"I'm not too worried about them," Honesty said, drawing the spyglass back. "Since both of them have been banished, their abilities- along with mine- have been revoked. Yours haven't, so we can make our getaway at any point."

"Getaway?" Virgil stuttered, finally managing to find a shred of his voice.

Honesty laughed as if Virgil's confusion was ludicrous. "Yes, getaway. Surely you know we can't remain here if the others are coming. You're as wanted of a man as I am- you think they'll be merciful if you remain here for them to catch you? You'll be cast out- I was a Light side, and there was no leniency. What do you believe will be done with a dark, such as yourself?"

"It's better than being with you," Virgil said, cringing at the weakness in his voice.

Honesty didn't seem to take him seriously. "Hmmm? Virgil my darling, let's not do this again. I already told you- they don't want you back. I'm the only one who cares about you- I do hate it when we fight."

"I'm not going with you," Virgil said firmly.

Honesty frowned, stepping away from the window. "What do you mean, not going with me? Enough of this silly talk. I need you to get me out of here, I can't teleport."

"So you're just using me then," Virgil said, his confidence growing.

Honesty looked nervous. "I love you, Virgil, don't you remember that? My dear, I-"

"You're not denying it," interrupted Virgil.

There was a silence between the two of them. There was a clear, unmistakable difference between the two men. Honesty, the older, his silver eyes glittering with an icy rage- and Virgil, the slightly broken, his own dangerously tense. "Virgil, I have killed several people in my life. Some for less disrespect than this, so choose your next words with care."

Virgil swallowed dryly. "You promised you wouldn't kill or hurt me. You said it was physically impossible for you to lie, you can't-"

"Oh right!" Honesty said, with clear sarcasm, his voice filled with a deep monotone annoyance. "Silly me! I forgot that I was the one who told you I couldn't lie. Did anybody ever confirm that for you? Deceit, maybe?" He flicked his wrist, suddenly drawing out a gun.

"You... no..." Virgil said, losing his composure. That couldn't be true- "But... you're Honesty..."

"Yeah, but as time has proven, Deceit is capable of not speaking in lies. I'm almost surprised you were so dense."

Virgil felt himself growing more panicked, his tempest tongue becomes active. "You... you said you loved me. You said they didn't."

Honesty shrugged. "Well, I do love you. I love you the way a master loves his dog." The last part was said with a giggle as if he thought it was the funniest thing in the world. "Now- you'll behave yourself, and in return, I won't hurt you- to bad that is. Sound good?"

Virgil's mind was racing. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck- what was he going to do? He had no way to fix this. It was either go with Honesty, of risk the punishments the others had for him. Fuck fuck fuck fuck- he looked at Honesty. The side was amused as if he knew he had won. He waved the gun in his hand lazily, the dragon witch's dagger in his belt- 

The dagger. That was it. The only way out. "You... bastard."

Honesty smirked, turning back to the window. "Aww, don't throw a fit, Virgey. Let's get ready to go, hmm? Roman and Narcissus will be here in a couple of minutes, and I'd rather not have to deal with them."

"You lying bastard!" Virgil shouted, his voice breaking with the strain of holding back his tears. He reached forward, grabbing the dagger from Honesty's belt. Honesty spun, holding up the gun in anticipation that Virgil would try and stab him, but he froze instantly when he realized- Virgil was holding the dagger to his own throat.

"What are you-"

"I'm your way out of here, huh? Well tough luck, I'd rather die than go with you!" Virgil sobbed, his hands shaking as the tip of the blade drew a small bead of blood. 

Honesty frowned, biting his lip. "Virgil, if you don't stop this stupid game, I'll-"

"You'll what!? Shoot me?!" Virgil interrupted with a laugh, the panic, and broken delirium coming off as maniac confidence. "Where would that get you?! You'll just need to find another affection starved side to deceive and use! Roman and Lust'll be here soon, and hopefully, your litter reign of terror will be over!"

Honesty, for the first time Virgil had known him, completely lost his confidence. He glanced back out the window, tensing when he saw just how close Roman and Lust were to the house. He looked back toward Virgil, his body shaking with anger. "You... you need me. Virgil, my love, you don't have to die! I will love you and take care of you forever, but we need to leave now." He was furious but was taking great lengths to repress it.

"Love isn't supposed to hurt so damn bad!" Virgil sobbed and drove the dagger into his throat. 

"No no no no god damn it no!" Honesty shouted, running forward and grabbing Virgil before he could fall, sinking gracefully with him to the ground. There was so much blood- it stained their clothes; leaking from the wound like a crack in a dam. 

There were footsteps on the stairs- it must have been Roman and Lust, here already. "Virgil, how could you do this to me?!" Honesty half-shouted, wet forming on the edges of his eyes. He reached up with one finger to wipe it away, the other holding Virgil tightly to his chest, white-knuckled. Tears? No- he never cried. He hadn't cried over Pride, he hadn't cried when he'd been banished, he hadn't cried... well, ever. But Virgil...

"Virgil no, we can fix this, we can make it okay-" Honesty muttered, his voice low. Virgil's expression was mocking but dazed, the rapid blood loss taking control of his mind. "We just need to get out of here, I'll help you, please, please don't die on me, you fucker... not after you've made me feel shit like this!"

The door to the room slammed open on its hinges. There were voices, but he couldn't hear them. Somebody grabbed him by the back of the collar, retching him away from Virgil. "No!" he screamed, voice broken. "P-please no, he's mine! Give him back! I need..."

He fought against whoever was holding him- it must have been Roman, Lust would never have touched him- but he felt weak. Sick, maybe. Then, Roman hit him over the head with the blunt of his sword, and everything went back.

_______________________________________________

Honesty woke up in a dark room. He was tied to a chair- a very hard wooden chair; his head spinning. Honesty didn't want to wake up yet. The longer he was asleep, the longer he could avoid his problems, he figured. But here he was- wherever 'here' was- covered in blood and away from... Virgil.

"Virgil?" He called into the dark, finding his voice dry and hoarse.

The only response he got was a light flipping on. After his eyes adjusted, he looked around. It was one of those classic interrogation rooms from the movies, all sleek and grey. There were those two-way mirrors on the walls, and a cold steel table in front of him- with two chairs on the other side of it. 

The door behind him opened, and in walked Janus, his expression dark and tired. Behind him, was... "Oizys?"

The black-clad man winked, smiling contently as he took one of the seats in front of Honesty. "Heya, old man. Long time no see, huh?"

Honesty looked vacant, his mind racing with too much information. He looked down in his lap for a moment, gathering a long, deep breath. "Deceit?" he asked, softly.

Janus crossed his arms, leaning back in the chair. "Yes?" He asked coldly.

"Is Virgil... dead?" 

Janus got a funny sort of look on his face. "Uhm... yes. You killed him, don't you remember?"

Honesty cringed, his eyes growing wet again. "I... I didn't. He stabbed himself in the throat. Virgil said... Virgil said he'd rather die than be with me," he said, unable to look at the other sides. For some reason, it didn't matter that Oizys was sitting in front of him- the man he killed. It didn't matter that he was tied to a chair. He just felt... empty.

Janus nodded in the direction of the mirror, where others must have been. "Truth," he muttered, a validation for Honesty's words.

"It's not... it's not fair," Honesty whimpered. "Why did he have to die? I... I loved him."

Oz laughed, startling the other two sides. "Gosh, you're a heck of a lot more of sap then I remembered. Were you this broken up when you drove a dagger through my heart while Patty strangled me? Or how about, when you killed that other one... oh, what's his name... Pride?"

Honesty gave no response. Instead, he... coughed. Honesty brought his hands, which were connected to the table by handcuffs with a slightly longer chain, to his mouth, gross, retching sounds- like a cat throwing up a hairball coming from him. When he was done, he brought them down, staring into his hands.

His hands had fresh blood on them, which mingled with Virgil's old dry blood. And, in the center of his palms- one purple flower petal. There was silence. Oz giggled again, looking in the direction of the mirror. "Oh, this is so dramatic! Wasn't that other boy...err, Lust! That's it! Wasn't he also coughing up these flower petals for the dead kid? Oh, this is so glorious!"

Honesty winced. Lust had hanahaki disease as well? He hadn't known. Oh, this wasn't good. Just their luck, wasn't it? 

"It's not glorious for Lust's sake, I'm afraid," Janus said, his voice tense. "Because Virgil's dead, he can't reciprocate- if he even would've in the first place- Lust's love, meaning that Lust- and Honesty- are going to die."

Oz bit his lip, thinking for a minute as he rocked in his chair. "Sure sure, but maybe they don't have to die! I mean, I came back. Why can't this Virgil guy?"

Janus sighed, standing up. "I had more questions for you, Honesty, but I'm sure they can wait. We need to go and see if getting Virgil back is even possible."

"You really think you can get him back?" Honesty asked, hopefully.

Janus frowned, glancing with an angry exasperation at Honesty. "I don't know. But what I do know is that you deserve every damn second of suffering you feel for what you've done."

And with that, he and Oz left, the door slamming behind him, and the lights going out. Leaving Honesty to cough up these nasty flower petals. 

Love. What a stupid thing. He had never felt this way before, he had never cried before- messing with Virgil had been a mistake.


	14. The Meeting (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to split this chapter in half because I thought this scene deserved a bit more length to it, and I didn't want to make ya'll wait too long. (:
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]
> 
> -mentions of suicide  
> -mentions of rape  
> -mentions of murder

Lust was sitting in the dark on the sofa. It was mid-morning, the day after Christmas- but the blinds were still drawn tightly shut. He had to leave the interrogation of Honesty to the others- he simply couldn't handle it.

At least before, he reckoned, he was happy enough knowing that Virgil was happy. And then, neither of them had been. And now... Virgil was really dead. Worse, this time he had seen the anxious side stop breathing. He had heard Honesty's broken scream- god, it was so full of emotions he had never known the side was capable of feeling, a sickening, grotesque reminder of his past. Honesty had never felt like that about anyone- he knew that much for a fact- and now, they were both coughing up these bloody purple flowers. They were both going to die. 

It wasn't... it wasn't fair. Even his death couldn't be his own, could it? It had to be tainted by that silver side's presence like everything else had been in his life. He couldn't have anything, could he? Honesty always had to take it away. Lust shuddered as a coughing fit racked his body. Would he get to see Virgil, when he died? Oh, he hoped so. He wanted to say goodbye- maybe his heaven would finally allow him some individuality.

Somebody sat next to him. Logan, he realized after a second and tore himself away from his thoughts to get a good look at the side. Logan had been crying, it seemed. He looked bone-tired and very, very broken. That makes two of them, Lust thought, looking over at the Christmas tree nobody had taken the time to take down yet. There were still three gifts under it.

Lust bent down, looking at the names. For Emile, Logan, and himself. It made sense- the three of them had been busy on Christmas- Lust trying to die and Logan and Picani trying to stop him- so it made sense that they'd been unable to open their gifts. Lust grabbed the one for himself and the one for Logan, setting it down next to the logical side. "I don't know about you, but getting gifts always make me feel better," he mumbled.

Logan nodded silently, opening the present in his lap. It was a simple thing, really. It looked like in the secret Santa, it had been Remus who got him- the present was nice, a thorough and large textbook on forensic science and true crime with pictures. He smiled, thumbing through it. "You're right, it is a bit therapeutic."

Lust, in turn, opened his gift. It was one of those classic WW2 style lined bomber jackets, with a few purple patches- much like the one's on Virgil's old hoodie- adorning the visible part of the lining. There was a note, tucked right on top.

'Hey, Lust,

I wasn't really sure what you liked- we haven't known each other super long- but I thought you might appreciate a jacket that's warmer than that kimono. And besides, I thought you'd look pretty nice in it.

yours,

Virge.'

Lust felt like he was on fire. Virgil had been his secret Santa... his mind was racing. Virgil had thought he'd look nice in this. Virgil had thought about him... He sighed, his eyes bit teary as he pulled the jacket on, hugging it close to him and tucking the note into its pocket. Logan turned to him, pulling Lust from his thoughts. "What a detestable year, hmm?" He said with a sigh, cleaning the lens of his glasses where a tear had dripped.

"Yeah," Lust said, coughing into his hands, wiping the blood that came from his throat on his pants carelessly.

"I found out my boyfriend is a murderer today," Logan said numbly.

"I didn't realize that you didn't know. Honesty used to boast about it," Lust said after a moment. "Of course, he boasted a lot of gross things- I didn't take him seriously."

Logan nodded. "I... I'm sorry about Virgil."

"So am I. You knew him longer."

"Sure, but you were in love with him," Logan said. "We can try the surgery to cut out the Hanahaki, Roman was successful with Nero before-"

Lust shook his head quickly. "I don't want to talk about that right now if you don't mind." Logan bit his lip, falling silent as he flipped through the book on his lap. "To be honest, I think I'd rather just die."

Logan shut his book. "Lust, that's not-"

"Oh come on. The mind's going to shit. Depression's back, Pride, and Anxiety are dead, and Honesty and I are dying anyway. Would it really matter at this point?" Lust said, fiddling with the hem of his sleeve, unable to look at Logan.

"You should talk to Emile- or even Nero about this. They can help you, Lust. They want to help you- nobody wants you dead."

"I want me dead," Lust contradicted, standing up. "Look Logic, there's only so much I can do at this point. If it goes poorly, I die. Why even bother? Now, I'm going to go and make some sandwiches for me and the guys up in the makeshift infirmary. You want one?"

"I suppose," Logan said, ending the argument. He was tired. Maybe Emile or somebody would have better luck with these things- but deep down, he felt that he could relate to how Lust felt. Hopelessness really felt like it was seeping in.

________________________________________

Oz ran down the halls, banging pots and pans together. "Meeting! Jan says we all gotta have a meeting, my groovy Gus's!"

"Oh, my gods I will literally snap your neck if you don't shut up!" Greed hissed, grabbing the pots from Oz's grip and throwing them on the ground with a loud clatter. Oz grinned, grabbing his arm and tugging him down the hall.

Everyone was meeting around a large wooden table in the dining hall of Remus's castle. Everyone. Emile had managed to even coax Thomas there, who was more than a little broken up about the death of Virgil. They all were.

Honesty was handcuffed to the arm of his chair, sitting between Janus and Depression. Remus was next to Janus; Apathy beside him, Nero sitting painfully in his chair to Apathy's side, the wrathful side's bullet wound still painful. Beside Nero was Lust, Envy, Greed, Gluttony, and then Remy, the sins subconsciously grouping together. Then there was Emile, Thomas, and Logan, Roman separating Logan from Patton- leading the unfortunate seating arrangement that Patton was beside Oz. 

Janus stood, taking off his hat. "I'd like to start this meeting with a moment of silence for... for Virgil," he stuttered.

There was about five seconds of silence before Oz stood, his chair scraping the floor loudly and drawing attention to himself. "I dunno about ya'll, but I see no cause for grief here. I was murdered and I'm back now! Your Virgil will probably be back in no time."

Logan rolled his eyes. "If we had any idea how to bring Virgil back, we would have already. And Pride. But unfortunately, all we know about this process is that Thomas suffered a longstanding disturbance of mental health that resulted in your return. We can't risk fiddling around with Thomas's mind in hopes we might bring Virgil back."

"Sure sure, but as the only one here who's familiar with dying, I think I can be of some assistance!" Oz said cheerfully.

The whole scene was bizarre. Patton looked embarrassed and upset out of his mind whenever Oz brought up the whole being dead thing, and Honesty looked exhausted by mildly amused. "You're really not as upset about the fact that we murdered you as I would've thought."

Oz shrugged. "It's no big deal. I was upset at first, but I've been dead for over 20 years, I've gotten over it," The two were interrupted from their conversation by the clearing of Janus's throat.

They both looked toward him, and he nodded in Thomas's direction, who looked confused and concerned. "Oh! We haven't been introduced properly, I-" began Honesty, before breaking down in a coughing fit.

"This is Maat, I'm Oz," introduced Oz with a smile. "I'm so glad to finally meet you!"

The room was silent with shock, everyone staring at Oz. "Woah fellas, what's with the wide eyes? Did I do somethin'?"

Honesty rolled his eyes. "If I wasn't handcuffed, I'd strangle you again."

"Awww don't be a sourpuss, Mattie. I figured it was okay to use your real name, based on how frequently you seem to like to use Lust's without his permission."

Envy giggled. Greed and Gluttony glanced at him tensely. "We can laugh when he's made fun of now, ya'll! What's he gonna do to us, he's handcuffed to a chair and his lungs are stuffed with flower petals!" Despite their discomfort and the unusual circumstance, Greed and Gluttony laughed softly with Envy. Lust smiled, but he didn't risk laughing, what with the state of his lungs. 

Logan looked intrigued. "Its peculiar how many sides are named after Mythological characters..."

Honesty looked pissed, his cheeks pink. Janus summoned a gavel, snapping it down on the table to regain everyone's attention. "Gentlemen! We don't have time for this. Oz, what do you remember about being dead?"

Oz hummed, leaning back in his chair. "Well, I'm sure it's different from, say when Thomas actually dies. For me, it was like... a void. I was fully conscious, in this weird, dark funhouse mirror. Probably Thomathy's subconscious or somethin'."

Remus and Roman made eye contact across the table like they had shared a thought. They stood up, going to the corner to whisper about something before rejoining the group. "We were thinking," began Remus.

"Why don't we ask the Dragon Witch if they have any spells that would allow us passage between here and the subconscious?" Roman finished. "It wouldn't hurt to ask."

There were nods of agreement. Honesty cleared his throat awkwardly. "I Uhm... the Dragon Witch is in my basement."

There was a series of annoyed groans from around the table. Lust stood up, taking his time to roll up his sleeves as he walked over to where Honesty was sitting. With zero hesitation, he slapped Honesty across the face. "You always have to make such a damn mess of things, don't you!?"

"I didn't say I killed The Dragon Witch, Narcissus, relax. You know," Honesty hummed, his cheek flushed where he'd been hit. "If you'd been that aggressive in bed, I think we'd have had loads more fun. You know, we could try it out, hmm? See how it goes, for old times' sake?" 

The sins, Patton and Thomas looked uncomfortable. Nero covered Apathy's ears with a scowl. "You'd have better luck sticking your dick in a cactus than back inside him, you piece of crap," he hissed in Lust's defense. Lust smiled softly, his eyes looking a little glossy like he might have been on the brink of dissociating. 

Envy noticed, standing up and guiding the younger sin back to his seat. Honesty rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, you're all so dramatic. I didn't do anything that bad to you sins."

Lust, Envy, Greed and Gluttony erupted into a fit of shouting, all of them quick to disagree. Emile stood up, reaching and taking the gavel from Janus, banging it on the table to regain the attention of the others. "While confrontation of abusers and discussion of issues can be tremendously helpful in a situation like this, I'd like to say a couple of things before we have this conversation. One, I'd like to recommend that Roman and Remus go to find and speak with the Dragon Witch to save time. I'd also recommend that someone take Apathy out of the room, this isn't an appropriate conversation to have in front of a pre-schooler."

His professionalism was sobering, to say the least. The twins followed his command, immediately getting up and leaving. Thomas stood, volunteering to take Apathy to watch a movie as a distraction.

It was time to address the elephant in the room.


	15. The Meeting (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me, bopping to the sad songs in Beetlejuice the Musical as I write this: ahh yes, and a little murder here, an spec of pinning here, a dash of angst here- (spills all the angst into the mixing bowl) whoops.
> 
> [Chapter Warnings] oh my god there are a lot here let's go my dudes  
> -description's of torture, including but not limited too:  
> -Drowning  
> -starvation  
> -forced consumption of boiling water  
> -rape  
> -gaslighting  
> -murder  
> -character death  
> -child abuse  
> and much, much more! (Jazz hands)

Emile Picani cleared his throat, pushing his glasses up on his nose and taking a long, deep breath. He'd never worked a case like this- it was going to be difficult, of course. But he could see how bad the sins needed to talk about it. "Gentlemen?" He asked softly, facing the sins. "Are you comfortable having this conversation here, and with so many sides around? We can do this in whatever manner will make you the most comfortable." He was met with nods and affirmations of agreement. He smiled carefully. "Remember, we can stop at any time, and you may leave at any time if you're triggered by the subjects we discuss, okay?" Another round of nods. "Good. Okay, who is comfortable with sharing how they feel first?"

Greed cleared his throat. "Thanks to Honesty, I have feared water since I was 11 years old. He liked to hold my head underwater in the river when I 'misbehaved,'" he said with dramatic air quotes. "What the hell did I even do that was so bad, you old bastard? I wandered into the Dragon Witch's territory by accident; I broke a plate when trying to do dishes. And because of that, I can't take showers without feeling like I'm going to vomit."

"Sweet Jesus, Mattie, these were your kids, right?" said Oz under his breath. He wasn't surprised by Honesty's capability to do so, but more that he would in general.

"Yes, and I didn't raise the four of you to be such cry babies. You're adults now, you shouldn't be whining about something that happened years ago," Honesty said flippantly.

"You held me under long enough Pride had to give me CPR about two weeks before you were put in the dungeons, remember?" Greed said, his voice firm and accusatory, filled with brave malice. "It wasn't that long ago. And for oversleeping, anyways."

Honesty shrugged. "Greed, I thought you were more mature than this. You were always better at taking your punishments than the others, I'm almost disappointed."

"Greed," Emile said calmly, drawing the sin's attention back to him. "I want to make sure you're aware that this is a prime example of gaslighting. A cruel form of abuse he seems to use quite a bit."

Envy combed his hair back with his fingers, looking at Honesty nervously. He had less confidence than Greed in this situation, and he seemed anxious- as if he was worried Honesty would suddenly be free of his handcuffs and that he'd be in trouble if he said anything to wrong. Nonetheless, after a few deep breaths, he spoke. "My entire throat is damaged, along with my mouth and taste buds, Honesty. You... you burned all the nerve endings."

Honesty coughed, pulling a blood stained flower petal from his mouth as if it was a normal occurrence. "You always talked too much, what was I supposed to do? I did ask you to be quiet."

"Yeah I dunno about the rest of you, but forcing boiling water down a kid's throat isn't exactly constructive," said Greed, his voice dripping with annoyance. "Patton, Janus, did you ever force that on any of your wards? I highly doubt it."

Eyes flickered over between Patton and Janus. Patton looked sick and upset; whereas Janus looked furious beyond belief. Honesty laughed. "Oh don't drag Patton into this, lord knows he's just as fucked up as I am."

Logan's voice cut through the room. "Falsehood. Patton may have made mistakes, but he is a compassionate, loving person. He would never- and has never- behaved the way you have to younger sides in his care." Patton blushed slightly, the surprise showing on his expression. Logan in his defense? Maybe he didn't hate him...

"Well, agree to disagree then," Honesty said with another cough. "Now who wants to whine next, hmmm?"

Emile looked to the two remaining sins who hadn't spoken. Gluttony didn't even want to look up. "I think his 'punishments' for us were fair, actually," he said softly.

Greed and Envy looked livid at the comment. "Are you fucking serious?" Greed demanded. "This is our opportunity to talk about things and move past them! I remember how much you cried when Honesty wouldn't let you eat for a week. And you can't possibly think that what happened to us is your call to say is fair!"

Emile hushed him politely. "Gluttony, why do you feel that Honesty's treatment of you was fair? It's perfectly valid that you have those feelings, but I do think it's worth a discussion."

"I... well..." Gluttony said, trying to avoid the eyes of anyone else, sneaking looks at Honesty. Honesty looked pleasantly surprised, his gaze a sort of warm and comforting that he'd seen only when he was very little, or that he'd seen Honesty use with Apathy. The tender expression-no, the suck-up, lying expression. "He was in charge. It was his call, wasn't it? To decide the best way to run things?"

Emile nodded, as if he had expected that answer. "Gluttony, it's good for you to have faith in authority, but being in charge doesn't mean your actions are flawless."

"No no, actually," Honesty said, smiling. "I'm quite impressed- I never would've expected Gluttony to be on my side here. Well, that settles it- you're my new favourite."

Gluttony scoffed. "Why, because you murdered and/or raped your last three favourites? I don't want to be your favourite. Look, sir," he cringed at the word sir. Old habits die hard. "I trusted that you were in the right in your punishments, and I admired you as a person. I would've continued to do so if you hadn't murdered Pride. I've lost that respect for you."

Honesty frowned, looking pissed. "So much for my love and appreciation," he said with an irritated chuckle as if he was trying to make it seem like it didn't hurt as much as it really did. He looked to Lust. "Hmm, guess we saved the best for last then, hmm? Oh, you probably have so much anger built up inside you, hmm? Let's review."

Honesty stopped to cough before continuing, his eyes locked with Lust. "You hate your real name, because I use it. You think I 'stole' Virgil from you when he never loved you in the first place. You've made claims that I 'raped' you. Let's see- did any of the others ever believe your little attention-seeking whines? No."

Lust's eyes were glossy, his lips quivering slightly. "I was... I was 14 the first time, how could I have consented?"

Envy chuckled awkwardly. "Look, Lust, we love you and all, but you've always been kind of a slut and an attention whore. Honesty was an abusive piece of shit, but he was also like a father to us, he would never-"

"But he did!" protested Lust, his voice breaking. "Y-you three never listen to a word I say! I... the first time I tried to talk to you- don't you remember?! I showed up at your rooms in the middle of the night a complete mess, begging for comfort or somebody to take me seriously. I can still remember what ya'll said to me." He stood, pulling the jacket around him tightly. "Greed said I was 'asking for it' with the way I was dressed. I was a child wearing a fucking crop top and shorts! Why does it matter how the fuck I dressed when I was with people I thought cared about me! Envy told me 'men can't be raped,' and Gluttony had the audacity to be mad that I told him! This..." he paused, coughing into his hands. "This is the exact crap I talked about in my suicide note, but I guess that was just me 'being dramatic' too, huh?!"

Lust stormed out of the room, despite the others calling his name. The other sins looked embarrassed. Oz was staring at Honesty with a disbelieving morbid curiosity- again, not surprised that Honesty would do these things, but that he had done it to his 'children.' Nero got up, running after Lust.

Honesty was laughing. "Wow boys, I am impressed, truly. I thought you would've believed him, considering I'm handcuffed to a chair for murder, manslaughter, and a ton of other things."

Logan sighed uncomfortably. "So... you admit it then?"

"Admit to 'raping' Narcissus? No no, I had to much fun for it to be 'rape,' " he giggled.

The three sins paled. Emile was the first to speak. "But he certainly didn't have fun, even regardless of the fact that he says he was a child when this first occurred. Either of those alone makes it rape."

Janus looked like he was about to kill Honesty. Honesty seemed to notice. "Aww, is there somethin' you want to say, Dee?"

Janus stood, fixing his gloves and hat. "There are a lot of X rated things I'd like to say to you," he said softly, his voice icy. "However, that kind of language is classless, and nothing good would come from it. All I can say is that I can't wait to watch you choke on your own blood and those petals for Virgil." And with that, he got up, dragging Patton with him for some sort of conversation in the hall. 

Remy took Honesty back to his makeshift holding cell, leaving Logan, Emile and the sins alone in the room. "We... we really made a mess of things," Gluttony said softly.

"I understand that you all thought highly of Honesty; he was your father figure; your leader. But I think you all owe Lust a good apology. The three of you seem like you've been able to heel easier with each other's help- Lust hasn't had that, and as time has shown he's in desperate need of some love and support."

Nero burst back into the room, his eyes filled with concern. "Fuck, I can't find him, guys!" 

The others were on their feet quickly. "He was making suicidal commentary earlier, but I didn't think-" Logan began to Emile, but Emile was already talking to the others.

"Everyone, we need to split up and find him, we don't want him to get hurt," he lead, and soon the others were off.

____________________________________________________________

Roman had made sure to bury Virgil without any ceremony or anything. What with the whole debate of whether or not they could actually bring him back, and all the hanahaki going around, it had been dubbed the best plan.

So there Lust was now, in the gardens a little away from Remus's castle, where Pride and Virgil were both buried. Lust leaned against the headstone of the man he loved, tipping back a bottle of booze he had swiped from Remus's dining room. "It's not fair," he groaned. "I don't know why I expected them to listen. That was so stupid of me. And Honesty... he was so smug. He's glad he's taken everything away from me."

A cold gust of wind blew through his hair, making him shiver. "I wanted to die. I've wanted to die for a long time- why'd you have to go and make me fall in love with you, and then beat me to the punch?" He asked the headstone wearily.

His mind wandered. He hadn't really talked to Virgil until the dinner of the first night they spent unbanished. The two were seated next to each other. "Hey," Lust had said, drawing the anxious side's attention. "Do you always eat like this?"

"Eat like what?" Virgil asked, seeming to tense as if he was being accused of something.

"It's so... bright, and loud, and happy. Are dinners always like that for you?" he had clarified. Virgil nodded, looking around the table. The other sins had been equally amazed by the cheer in the air.

"Yeah, they really are," Virgil had said with a soft smile, taking a bite of his Lasagna.

He was gorgeous, quiet, and polite, witty... "Uhm, I don't want this to come off as to forward, but would you, uhh, like to watch a movie with me later?" Lust had asked nervously. 

Virgil blushed. "O-oh, I-"

Patton, from across the table, seemed to hear. "That sounds like a great idea, Lust! I'll make popcorn! It'll be so much fun!"

Lust silently cursed the moral side for not realizing that it wasn't a family event, but rather, a date invitation. Virgil flashed him a small awkward smile, seemingly glad he didn't have to answer.

What would he have answered, if it had been just the two of them?

It didn't matter now, anyway. Virgil was dead and in the ground, and soon Lust would join him. "Good," he thought allowed. "I can't deal with any of these assholes anymore, Virge. I... I miss you. You made this so much more bearable, even if you didn't love me back. Your smile made me feel happy for days..." he wretched up a large handful of purple petals. "Oh, and thanks for the jacket, by the way. Did you really think I'd look nice in it? It sure was a cool gift."

More coughing. Bloodstained his hands as he tried to keep it off his jacket. "I wish I could get a little more out of it, to be honest," he shuddered at the word honest, his mind flashing with memories triggered. "Fuck!" he shouted, throwing the bottle of booze as far as he could with a sob, his lungs wrenching again with the futile attempt to breathe.

He felt dizzy from the inability to get oxygen. He gasped, massaging his throat with a whimper. "I didn't want to die this way, but it seems I don't have a choice, huh?" he whispered to nobody.

He coughed again, this time it didn't stop. He couldn't breathe, his lungs so clogged up. He saw dark spots behind his eyes, and though this painful death was scary, he was filled with bliss as he began to lose consciousness. It was over.

He was finally done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember ya'll, if there are tags you think I need to add to the fic, let me know, I'm more than happy to oblige!


	16. Three Men Can Keep A Secret If Two Of Them Are Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll, sorry it's been a hot bit. LGBTQ-phobic parents took away my computer, which was totally not fun. It was going to make this chapter longer, but I thought that it would be better to get it out sooner than later, as it's already been a while since the last one. I did miss ya'll though, and I'm glad to be back.
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]  
> -blood/gore mentions  
> -abuse mentions  
> -idk that's all I can think of

"Lust!" Envy shouted, the wind whipping through his greasy hair as he ran through the gardens. Gluttony had taken the other side of the castle, and the rest of the searchers were indoors. It was cold out- the grass dressed in frost and the wind howling. "Lust where are... you," he said, stumbling to a halt.

In the small clearing between the trees where Virgil and Pride were buried, Lust was slumped against the former's headstone. The front of his shirt was drenched in his own blood, the dark liquid a sharp contrast to his miserably paled cheeks. Envy ran forward, dropping to his knees next to the younger sin. "Fuck, Lust, what on earth-" but when he touched Lust's skin, he couldn't help but recoil at the cold.

Lust was dead.

Envy sat back against Pride's headstone with a dry sob, picking up a bottle of booze littered in the tall grass. Half-empty. He shrugged, taking a long drink, trying to distract himself. Like he could somehow pretend Lust wasn't there.

A few moments later, he heard the crunch of Gluttony's tennis shoes on the frost and dead leaves, the other gasping. "Oh Lust, no..." he sobbed, rushing forward. "Envy, we need to-"

"It doesn't matter," Envy interrupted, shaking his head. "He's dead."

Gluttony crumpled to the ground next to Lust, the proximity to the corpse not seeming to faze him. Just as Envy had, Gluttony reached forward, brushing Lust's bangs out from in front of his lifeless eyes. He wrapped an arm around Lust, holding him tightly- as if by sheer force of will he could bring back the youngest sin. "We were supposed to be the SEVEN DEADLY SINS!" Gluttony wept, tugging on the roots of his hair. "But Wrath and Sloth haven't really sin in over 20 years- and now Pride and Lust are both dead!"

Envy sighed, capping the bottle and tucking it inside his jacket. He stood up, reaching out and pulling Gluttony to his feet. "Hey," he said softly, reaching up and wiping the sin's cheeks of their tears. "Remember the Creativities are trying to figure out how to get them back with the Dragon Witch right now! It'll be okay."

Gluttony wrapped Envy in a tight hug, burying his face into the other's shoulder as he sobbed. "You really think that's gonna fucking work?! We're completely screwed!"

Envy shushed him, comfortingly hugging the other sin back- though the doubts in his mind were growing as well, unable to control his own tears. "I don't believe that, and it doesn't seem like the others do either. We'll get him back. All three of them, I'm sure of it."

"What are we supposed to do with... with him?" Gluttony asked quietly as he pulled away from Envy's hug, though still holding his hand tightly- as if it was an anchor.

"Bring him inside, I suppose."

Gluttony paled, looking sick. "I can't... I can't carry him."

Envy sighed, nodding understandingly. "That's fine. We'll ask one of the guys who can teleport to help. For now let's just go inside, okay?"

The two sins walked slowly back to the castle, despite the fact that freezing rain and a bit of snow had begun to fall. They clung to each other, terrified of letting go- as if it would result in the death of yet another member of their family.

When they arrived back inside, there was a frenzy. Honesty had just choked to death on those same purple petals.

________________________________________

The door of the cellar opened, and the Dragon Witch recognized their illuminated figures immediately. Prince Roman and the Duke, Remus. 

They chuckled. "About damn time you two showed up. I assume Honesty and Anxiety have been dealt with?"

Remus visibly shuddered at the mention of Virgil. Roman sighed, looking away. "Honesty's in custody again. And Virgil... Virgil's dead."

The Dragon Witch bit their lip, sighing. "I'm sorry to hear that. Well, thanks for the rescue, boys, but I really should be going." It was unfortunate that Virgil was dead. And, by the feel of the air, he wasn't the only one who had died that day. Poor Thomas...

"Wait! We need your help!" Roman said, his tone almost demanding as the twins chased after the DW. A fool's errand, perhaps. Why would they want to be of any help to the sides? It had nothing to do with them- or at least, it didn't have to.

"What? Why would I help you with anything? You sides cause nothing but trouble and pain for me!"

"Dragon Witch, Pride, and Virgil are dead. Honesty and Lust both have hanahaki disease over Virgil, and are going to die soon. You live in Thomas's mind, you must care for his well being! He can't function if his side's all die off!" Remus begged, his tired eyes scared. It was clear that every time Virgil was mentioned he was pained. The Dragon Witch pitied the twins. They had both suffered so much... and it seemed that quite the trigger was forming for Remus regarding the anxious side. 

The Dragon Witch hummed, processing the new information. "Yes, you really have been dropping like flies, as of late, haven't you? Fine, I'll do my best to be of assistance; for Thomas's sake."

"We need to find a way to come back from the dead. Depression was able to do it- there must be away." The DW seemed to want to ask about Depression but did not.

"Bring back the dead, hmm?" The Dragon Witch muttered, waving the creativities to follow them. They lead the twins to their cave, drawing them past many disturbing and certainly hexed items, into a dim, dusty library of thick, boring looking volumes. They drew their scaled finger along the spines of the books, muttering to themself before settling on one.

The DW sighed, shaking their head after a moment, slamming the book shut. "You won't like it."

"There is a way though?" Roman asked, his eyes glowing with hope.

The Dragon Witch nodded slowly. "Certainly, but knowing how much you all care for one another's safety, it's out of the question."

The twins exchanged a long look, seems to have a whole conversation with just their expressions. "I think we need to talk about this with everyone," Roman said aloud, and when the Dragon Witch nodded, Remus snapped his fingers, and suddenly the three were back in his castle, in the main hall.

There was chaos. In the closest side room off the hall, Greed was sobbing on the sofa, sitting between Gluttony and Envy, both of them soaking wet with snowflakes sticking a bit in their hair. Roman rushed into the room; Remus and The DW lingering in the door. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Lust. he's... he-" Gluttony tried to say, but his voice was fragile. It was easy to understand what had happened.

"And Honesty," Envy said in a voice almost too soft to hear. "Honesty is dead." It seemed to be somewhat of a relief to the three of them. To be free of their abuser. But not like this; not at the expense of sweet Lust...

"The DW has a plan for getting them back. Are you guys ready to discuss that?" Roman asked, pulling on his collar. It was cold in the room, and yet the feeling of dread as to whatever the Dragon Witch was planning made it hard to focus.

Envy brightened, standing up and carefully pulling the other two to their feet. "Come on guys! I told you things would get better!" He sounded so strained, like an exasperated mother, or depressed drill Sargent trying to rally the others.

Gluttony linked an arm in Envy's, Greed trailing behind them as they all walked back into the hallway.

....Where they found Patton and Oz were dragging Honesty's corpse down the hall. "Just like old times, aye daddio? Last time the three of us were doing this, of course, you and H were dragging my corpse to hide somewhere, weren't ya? I was thinking about that old saying 'three men can keep a secret if two of them are dead,' and I realized somethin'! Now two of us three have been dead! Ain't that neat?"

Patton's expression was indescribable. A mixture of irritation, murderous rage, and clear exhaustion. Despite Oz's frequent reminders that he wasn't angry with Patton about it, though the moral side was clearly upset about it. And probably to polite to demand he stops. When Patton spotted the sins, the twins, and the dragon witch, he dropped Honesty's legs quickly, as if he had been caught doing something wrong. Oz was in no way strong enough to carry Honesty on his own, and his knees buckled under the weight, the two of them going to the floor. "Hey, guys!" Patton said cheerily as if their interruption was a relief. "I see the Dragon Witch is here! That's great! Do you have some idea of what to do about this pickle we're in?"

The Dragon Witch nodded, but their eyes were fixed on Oz, who was struggling to get out from under Honesty's corpse. "M-morality-" he wheezed from the floor. Patton glanced down, rolled his eyes, and tugged Oz out from under Honesty. The Dragon Witch approached Oz with wide eyes.

"Remarkable..." they hummed, reaching out and yanking down Oz's scarf, not hindered by the sickening bruises, and putting their fingers to Oz's neck, so to take his pulse.

"Woah there partner," Oz said, scrambling to pull his scarf up again. "I'd appreciate it if ya didn't go around poking and prodding my bruises, hon, they're sore."

"So you're Depression? How long were you dead for?" The Dragon Witch said, drawing a pen from their robes' pocket and opening the spellbook in their arms, scribbling in the margin. 

"Two decades. I look pretty fly though, don't I? Well, besides this," he gestured to his neck, "and the stab wound." He looked the Dragon Witch up and down, smiling as they took notes.

"But that's nothing that'd turn you off, right? What are my chances to get with ya?" Oz wiped some of Honesty's blood of his hands and onto his shirt, sliding his hands through his hair and winking.

The twins and Patton looked bored, but the sins seemed mortified. Nothing like watching a zombie-person flirt with a Dragon-person over the corpse of your abusive dead parent. It was awkward. "Can we move on?! Please?!" Envy finally managed to ask, and pulled the sins with him to find and call the others for another meeting.

The Dragon Witch smirked, patting Oz's cheek. "As flattered as I am, I don't date people who have been dead long enough to think 'fly' was an acceptable adjective."

Oz shrugged, grinning contently, and waved to Patton to help him drag Honesty's corpse outside. This time, however, he was silent, much to Patton's gratitude and confusion.

All the mattered right now, however, was that they had a meeting to commence.


	17. The Meeting (Part Three)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy this is a dark chapter. That'll be fun!
> 
> [chapter warnings]  
> -kinda murder/suicide  
> major character death  
> -descriptions of murder (kinda vague but not really)  
> -mentions of suicide  
> death death death lots of death

Okay fine, so he had lied. He was upset with Patton. But not... not angry. No, he could never be angry with Morality. Honesty? Sure! He took great joy in pissing off Mattie, they guy was a dick. But 20 years alone is a lot of time to think. And to pine, for that matter.

Morality. Patton. He had such a pretty laugh, a smile that could make you forget the world for a minute, an incomprehensible joy to him. Oz couldn't deny that he loved Patton.

And that was part of the reason, he thought, that Patton had killed him.

Things had been different back then. Thomas was still under the impression that he was hetero, and he was the only dark side. Okay okay, maybe that wasn't quite right. There weren't 'dark' and 'light' sides then. Honesty slowly forced that distinction. He remembered it well.

"Ozzy!" Mattie sing-songed, skipping into his room. "Come and play with me, I'm bored."

"Don't wanna," he had mumbled from his cocoon of blankets. "Thomas saw a dead squirrel on the street today. It's too sad."

"Ugh, you're no fun!" the honest side had said, coming over and ripping the blankets off with a flourish, jumping into Oz's bed. "Get up. Get up. Get up." He chanted over and over.

"Why don't you play with Morality?"

"Morality's trying to learn how to cook, I don't wanna catch on fire." Honesty stopped bouncing, sitting down, and beginning to play with Oz's hair. "Wanna play truth or dare?"

"It's no fun to play it with you, you always pick truth and get mad when I don't," Oz grumbled. Honesty grabbed a pillow as if it were some sleepover.

"Truth or dare." He insisted, waiting for Oz to agree. Oz sighed, realizing that he never did have a choice when it came to Honesty. The side always got what he wanted. 

"Dare."

Honesty smiled, as if he was being incredibly clever- even though he pulled this trick every time. "I dare you to tell me: Do you have a crush on Morality ?"

Oz turned red. "What? No way, that's gross!" He said a little too quickly.

Honesty's expression darkened. "Don't lie, lying is what's gross. Anyway, I already knew you did I just wanted you to admit it."

"Why did you want me to admit it?" Oz asked slowly. But he knew. He always knew.

"Because I'm 'na make a deal with you, that's why. You promise to always take my side when we make decisions for Thomas and be more cheery, and in return, I won't tell him."

Oz had pulled away from Honesty's grasp. "What? That's not right, Mattie. We can't always go with your ideas, and if I always agreed with you then the majority rules it that way. Also, I'm literally Depression."

Honesty shook his head. "Fine, then I'll tell him. Do you really think he'd love you back? You two never agree. You're always dragging Thomas down, how could he want anything to do with you? It'll hurt more if he knows," he said, laying back on the bed next to Oz like an old friend, the two of them admiring the star stickers on Oz's ceiling. They were kids, sure- and even as a kid, Honesty was cruel. But as many would fall for- he couldn't lie.

So he had agreed. For about six months, he had always chosen Honesty's side. Which, he found, seemed to make Morality sad. Ugh, there was just no winning, was there? He forced himself to smile, to laugh when the other two did, to dress in lighter colors. It felt so fake- Honesty looked pleased, however, and Morality seemed confused, but never really brought it up.

Until he couldn't take it. 

It was a simple event really, that leads to him getting murdered. After years of getting to think about it, this is what he had come up with. 

Thomas got the news that his great-grandfather had died. Morality was upset and was quick to think that Thomas would be upset too. But he didn't seem fazed. Why wasn't Thomas upset?

Oz felt his breath speed up, his heart-shattering. But he couldn't cry. No, if he cried Honesty would tell Morality. Morality couldn't know. If Morality knew, he'd hate him, and the moral side already seemed uncomfortable in his presence. Honesty was suddenly beside him, his arm wrapped lazily around Oz. He gave him a warning squeeze- calm down, you'll make Thomas feel bad.

Oz forced himself to smile, despite the tears that crept from his eyes. He wiped them away furiously, laughing nervously. It felt like a thousand hot knives tracing cuts into his skin as he put all his effort into not being the side that he was. Then Morality yelled at him. He hadn't even noticed, while he strained, that the side was in front of him.

"What are you doing?!" Morality shouted, taking off his glasses and wiping the tears off. "This is your job, isn't it? And you're laughing and smiling?! What is wrong with you?"

"I... I..." Oz stuttered, his lip quivering. Honesty patted his back reassuringly.

Honesty spoke up. "Come on, M, don't be mad at him. We don't want him to throw a fit, right? If Oz's sad, Thomas is sad, and that's all the more difficult to deal with."

Patton was furious. "It's not about what's more difficult to deal with! Humans are supposed to be empathetic, and if Depression isn't doing his job, then how is Thomas supposed to be a functioning person? I mean, a family member died, for Pete's sake! Why aren't you doing what you supposed to do!?" Morality jabbed a finger into Oz's chest accusingly.

Of course, this was before they had Virgil nor before they quite understood what it was, but Oz found himself having a panic attack. He crumpled to the floor, hugging his knees, breathing becoming nearly impossible. He sobbed into his lap, Honesty nudging him in the side with his shoe. Honesty said something along the lines of a warning, but Oz couldn't hear.

He did hear, however, when Honesty spoke to Morality. "Oz is rather distracted, Morality, you see... he has a crush on you."

There was silence. That shocked silence that comes after a loud noise, when everyone is attempting to wrap their minds around what had just occurred. "Me?" Morality asked softly, glancing at Oz.

Oz climbed to his feet, looking between the two other sides in horror. "It's not... it's not like that!" He tried to explain, but his voice cracked into a harsh whisper before dying completely. 

Morality still looked confused. He didn't say anything, so Oz found himself running from the room. He refused to leave his room for days. Honesty came knocking a few times, but Oz moved his furniture in front of it so the other couldn't come in.

And then there were the petals. Those pretty, baby blue petals, drenched in blood. He spent hours coughing them up, into his hands, into the overflowing garbage... He learned later that it was Hanahaki. Perhaps the one benefit that came with being murdered was that he didn't have to suffer a death like that. Maybe it'd have been more painful, maybe less.

About four days later, a soft, sweet knock came at the door. He thought it was Honesty at first in his hungry, dehydrated, tired stupor, but Honesty was always more demanding with his knock. And then he heard Morality's voice.

"Ozzy?" He waited. Oz didn't respond, instead just moving the desk he had pushed in front of it and putting his ear to the door. "Ozzy I'm sorry that I hurt you the other day. I was... I was just surprised, that's all. Can you come to the kitchen so we can talk about it? I made some cookies."

Oz couldn't believe his ears. Morality wasn't... upset? Disgusted? He heard Morality walk down the stairs and followed a minute later.

It must have been late- Oz had no idea what time it was, but darkness swelled in the corners of the room. There was a single, dim bulb hanging in the kitchen that let of very little light. And there was Morality, in the center of the room. He didn't look up when Oz entered, just staring at his feet. "You... you wanted to talk?" began Oz, when suddenly the space between them vanished and Morality was kissing him.

Oz was startled at first, he could hardly register what was happening. He felt his lungs lighten a little, the petals seeming to fade. He leaned into the kiss, Morality wrapping his arms around him and hugging him tightly. And then he pulled away. Morality was crying, unable to make eye contact. "I'm so, so sorry, Oz."

And then he was dead.

To be honest, Oz really didn't remember his last few minutes, as they were full of pain and panic. He knew there had been a lot of screaming and crying- he didn't remember the knife, but he must have been stabbed, right? He had the wound over his heart. But he did remember Patton choking him, and Honesty making sure he couldn't move.

Being dead was lonely. He learned at Thomas did, sure, but that was the extent of his knowledge of the world. He had no idea what was going on. He had years and years to think about Patton, in the expanse that was the subconscious. It sucked.

Of course, then he met Pride, for a short while. One day this scared boy in a Navy uniform was just there, a bloody hole in his chest from a bullet wound. Surprisingly, he seemed more concerned about the clothes then the fact that he was dead. Go figure. Pride had told him all about the others- banishment, Honesty, the new sides... and Patton. 

That was Morality's name. He loved it.

20 years in isolation changes a side, that was for sure. Dr. Picani seemed to want to talk about it. Maybe he would later- all these jokes about being murdered was likely an unhealthy coping mechanism. And now Patton had a boyfriend: The logical side, Logan. He was a good enough guy- and it's not like Oz really even wanted to be with Patton now- no, that wouldn't be fair to ask that of Patton. To still want the guy who murdered you and made you spend 20 years alone, who now had a boyfriend and a whole family? He could never.

But that didn't stop it from hurting when Patton flinched when their hands brushed, how he made ever attempt to get out of a conversation, or a room that Oz was in. As if he was the harbinger of bad news. And, from what Oz gathered from the others- Patton had a reputation of being a good person. So having a walking, talking thorn in your side that said otherwise must have made it suck.

Throwing out Honesty's body wasn't as satisfying as he had fantasized it being. Honesty was the one person from his old life who hadn't changed a bit, who wasn't a new variable- like all these others. Sure the guy was an ass and a terrible person, but it certainly didn't help.

And maybe that was why he was the first to volunteer to the Dragon Witch's plan. He knew the subconscious; understood it. All this... was new. foreign. Painful. 

__________________________________________

"I did say it wouldn't be ideal," huffed the Dragon witch. 

The plan was simple, really. They'd have to die to get there, then locate the others. Then, of course, and all of them would have to drink a potion that would effectively bring them back. Or at least, that was the theory.

As soon as this was voiced, of course, the room erupted. Oz watched them all, shouting over each other. Remus and Roman seemed angry with one another, and Janus was, of course, on his husband's side of this argument. Logan was in a heated conversation with Emile, and the sins- including Remy and Nero- seemed in some sort of a fight. In the corner of the room, Apathy was scribbling thoughtlessly in a coloring book, his eyes fixed in the adults in the room. Thomas had gone to bed- so much time in his head seemed pretty exhausting for him.

Oz banged his fist on the desk. "I don't see why we need to make a big fuss out of this. I'll go, as I have the most experienced in the whole death business; don't start a riot over it."

Janus sighed, subconsciously fiddling with the hem of his glove. "Well, you can't go alone. Honesty will be there; and as his opposition, I'm probably the best equipped to deal with him."

Remus scoffed. "That is out of the question, you are not dying."

"It would be temporary-" began the dragon witch, but Janus waved a hand, and the DW slapped a hand over their mouth.

"I appreciate your concern, love, but it's only logical-"

Logan chuckled at the use of his name, drawing attention to himself. He looked tired; unkempt. "Remus is right, you have a son Janus. I think it would be in the best interest of perhaps Oz, myself, and Nero to go."

"Not that I'm disagreeing with you," said Nero, waving a hand to shush Envy, who seemed furious by Logan's suggestion. "But why me?"

"Simple. I think it's clear that I'm the most intelligent side here, making me the brains of the endeavor. Oz is the only one here with experience. Roman and/or Remus would be ideal to serve as the brawn, but frankly, I don't trust Roman, and the two of them are important figures in Apathy's life and wellbeing."

"I think you're forgetting that I raised Apathy for the first portion of his life, but sure, I'll go," Nero said with a sigh.

Envy, Greed, and Gluttony were clearly upset by this. "No fucking way are we letting you die, we've lost enough sins as it is," Envy said, his eyes bright as his suit.

"Oh yes, because we here in the elite club of Deadly Sins can't possibly be expected to do our duty to help Thomas return to normalcy," Nero said, mocking Envy's tone.

Envy tried to sound angry, but it was clear that he was more scared then frustrated. "That's not what I meant! Nero, what if you don't return? We need you! Without Lust and Pride, how are we supposed to move on?"

Emile cleared his throat. "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to side with them on this, Nero. Due to your fragile mental health, as previous suicide attempts have prooven, I wouldn't think it wise to let you kill yourself, however noble the reason. What if you chose not to come back? That would be damaging to Thomas."

It was Nero's turn to be upset. "What the fuck are you talking about, doc? I'm not suicidal anymore, I ain't gonna stay behind!"

Remy glanced between his ex- and current boyfriends, taking a long slurp of his Starbucks. "Mmmm, doubtful."

" Are you callin' me a liar, you lazy son of a bitch?" Nero muttered, keeping his voice low- either out of anger or because he preferred not to curse in front of Apathy was unclear.

And the room was back to shouting. Oz slunk back in his chair with a defeated sigh, his gaze wandering to Patton, who had been silent the whole time. With a start, he realized that the moral side was looking at him. The seating had changed to accommodate the recent deaths, and now they were across from one another at the table.

It was the first time, he realized, that Patton had truly made eye contact with him. Not just a mere few seconds by accident as it had been before. Patton stood, and Oz found himself standing as well.

Patton walked slowly to the Dragon Witch, the exchanged some quiet words that were lost in the commotion of the room, and The Dragon witch summoned something. A bottle? They slipped it into Patton's hand, and the moral side made eye contact with Oz again, before creeping out of the room.

Oz made the decision to follow.

Patton was waiting in the hallway, staring out a great window at the storm. Far off, you could see the silhouette of Roman's castle, vacant and abandoned for some time. And to the west, though it was invisible, laid the mansion that the sins used to live in. Patton sighed, reaching into his cardigan- (Oz realized with a start that Patton was, in fact, wearing the cardigan) and pulled out a large bottle. "You said three men can keep a secret if two of them are dead," he said matter of factly.

Oz nodded slowly. "It's an old saying."

"Are you coming with me?" Patton asked, summoning two shot glasses and pouring some of the contents of the bottle into them and slipping the bottle away. He held one out to Oz.

"What is this?" Oz asked, eyeing the liquid. It was sparkly and a deep red, like wine and glitter, with a foul smell.

"The potion. The Dragon Witch said it'd kill us, but if we drink it again in the subconscious, it will bring us back."

There was a silence as Oz tried to wrap his head around what Patton was saying. "Wait, but the others-"

"They'll make their decision," Patton said wearily, his eyes seeming a bit more sunken, tired beneath his glasses. "And it won't matter. We're the oldest. It's our job to fix this mess, don't you think?" Patton downed his shot glass, coughing as soon as it passed his lips, dropping the glass, which shattered. "That was gross. Come on, Ozzy, it'll be just like old times."

Patton leaned forward, guiding Oz's shaking hand to his lips. "Come on," he encouraged, smiling softly as Oz drank the potion. He set the empty glass on the window sill. "There we go."

And suddenly Patton was kissing him. His lips bore the sour taste of the potion but were soft, just as Oz remembered them. Again, Patton was acting as his angel of death, who would grant him a kiss as he met his end. It was sweet. Sure, even if this whole thing didn't work... at least he got to kiss Patton again. That was worth it all.

His sight blurred. He was vaguely aware of Patton falling away, himself staggering to his knees. His mind swam, though this time he didn't feel as panicked about it. The first time, he had died kicking and screaming in Honesty's arms, who held him firmly as Patton strangled him. This was nice. Freeing.

Calm.

Yes, he was calm.


	18. He Takes What He Wants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sup ya'll!
> 
> Sorry, this is a shorter chapter than most- tbh I was kinda bored with it and just wanted to get on to the next part, which will be much juicier. (:
> 
> [Chapter warnings]  
> -rape/non-con (mostly just non-consensual touching, and it's brief)  
> -discussion of *murder*  
> -discussion of sexual abuse (not graphic)

"HOLY FUCK!" was the first thing that Oz heard upon waking up. Patton was sitting on the ground next to him, fairly disoriented. He checked his pockets, finding the bottle, and sighed, looking around at the barren expanse of land.

The subconscious was filled with dreams, wishes, anything in the imagination- that had ever died. Everything was gray or brown as if colors had been leached from the place. Oz looked around with a sigh. Home.

Oz stood up and offered Patton his hand. The moral side stared at it for a few seconds too long before reaching up and yanking Oz down to the ground next to him. And suddenly Oz found that Patton was kissing him again.

Now that he could finally collect his thoughts, the situation was strange. Don't get him wrong, there was nothing he wanted more than to make out with the moral side for hours, but... wasn't Patton dating Logan? Wasn't it kind of pressing that they found the others and stayed away from Honesty? Not to mention that the subconscious was a dangerous place itself, with all of the mythical beasts that the creative twins had made and then slain.

And yet here Patton was, sliding gracefully to straddle his lap, pinning him to the ground. "P-Patton, what are you-"

"I was so stupid, Ozzy," Patton said breathlessly between their kissing. His fingers sliding to take off his cardigan and then his shirt. "Honesty convinced me you were bad, that you were dangerous. I was worried that you were bad for Thomas, but I see now just how good you are... for me."

Patton pulled off Oz's scarf and shirt, seeming a little uneasy at the bruises but clearly not deterred. He began leaving hickies along Oz's shoulder, his hands sliding lower...

"Woah, Pat, we need to have a lot longer of a discussion if we were to do this..." Oz said, suppressing a moan that tried to force its way from him. He had never done this before, and it felt so strange ... No. He had to stay on track. He began to mumble about the many reasons why they shouldn't be doing this here, or now, but he lost his train of thought as Patton's hands slipped into his pants. The moral side pinned him- Oz may have been taller, but Patton was stronger, and what he wanted, he could take.

Oz felt sick. This didn't feel right. He didn't want Patton touching him like this. He loved Patton, sure, so why was he so repulsed by the idea of Patton fucking him? He pinched his eyes closed, trying to ignore the nausea building in him. 'Patton's giving you attention, he wants you, you should enjoy it,' he repeated in his mind over and over. Why didn't he enjoy it?

"Well, isn't this a pretty sight!" came a voice, and with a start, Patton jumped back from Oz.

"Oh, don't let me stop you!" Honesty said from where he sat on a dead tree branch. "I would hate to interrupt this; unless of course, I could join in?"

Honesty bore the one pop of color you could see for miles. The front of his shirt was stained with blood from coughing up the hanahaki flower petals, the color much brighter than it should have been. His skin was ashy, but for the most part, he looked the same- as his normal outfit was gray and silver, there wasn't much to change.

Honesty hopped down from the tree, offering them help to their feet when they didn't continue or invite them. Oz took it, whereas Patton looked weary, quick to tug back on his clothes. 

"I was wondering when ya'll were going to show up, but I certainly didn't expect you two," Honesty said, picking up Oz's scarf from the ground and looking at it before deciding to wear it for himself. Oz yanked it off him, wiping Honesty's blood off of it and wrapping it back around his bruised neck.

'Yes, well we're here," Oz said angrily. He felt so uneasy. Why was he grateful that Honesty had interrupted? He loved Patton. Regardless, now he led them through the woods. "Can't you leave us be, Mattie?"

Honesty laughed. "Of course not! You're looking for the other three dead sides; and so am I."

Oz spun, grabbing Honesty's shirt and pushing him up against a tree. "Yeah, I am not going to help you reunite with your old flings. You're responsible for all of their deaths!" Oz was grateful that their ability to summon things wasn't hindered in the subconscious. He tied the Honest side to a tree with Patton's help, despite his protests. 

Oz realized that he couldn't hear what Honesty was saying. Patton was in an argument with him, that was for sure, but he couldn't focus. What was wrong with him? He felt strangely shaken up. Oz wandered off into the trees, finding that he was breathing heavily. And suddenly he was running.

Thorny branches scratched his arms and cheeks as he sprinted through the underbrush. Maybe he could just find the others, and then reunite with Patton! Yes, that way he wouldn't have to spend time with him- ugh, that sounded so cruel. He... he loved Patton. Right? Patton had just kissed him and then they had drunk poison together, and suddenly the moral side thought that was an invitation for sex? Should it have been? Oz wished he had more experience with this sort of thing. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so bad for not enjoying Patton's advances. Maybe. 

He was ripped from his thoughts as he tripped over a tree root, tumbling face-first into the bushes. He rolled over, lying there on his back for a minute, allowing himself to cry. He wasn't in pain, not really- this was all just so much. He had been isolated for decades, and suddenly he was in such a new environment with all these new people, and then back in the subconscious but with Patton and Honesty, his murderers... and Patton wanted him? Oz couldn't think straight- or gay, or anything for that matter.

How long did he lay there? Minutes? Hours? Regardless, he wasn't proud to be found crying in the bushes by a side he didn't recognize. This would be Anxiety, right? The only one he was yet to meet. He had a grisly wound in his throat- how he died, Oz assumed. He realized he had never actually learned how Anxiety had died. Something to do with Honesty.

"Virgil?" Oz asked, trying to make his voice sturdier but not making any attempt to get up. 

The side's expression darkened. "How do you know who I am, who are you, and why are you crying in the bushes?"

Oz sighed, gesturing for a hand up. Virgil hesitantly helped him, still waiting for an answer. "'names Oz and I'm Depression, and you're watching the Disney channel!" He said, trying to lighten himself up. "No, actually I'm here to get you, Lust and Pride home."

Virgil tilted his head to the side. "Lust's here? I've only seen Pride."

"Yeah, he and Honesty- oh shit, you're their guy, aren't ya," Oz said, realization hitting him like a truck. They had begun to walk, Virgil leading the way somewhat, the anxious side looking up to the trees constantly.

"What the hell do you mean, 'their guy?' I don't belong to anyone."

Oz back peddled. "Of course not, I just meant- well, Lust and Honesty are both dead because of you. Hanahaki or some shit."

Needless to say, Virgil didn't take this well for many, many reasons. He immediately began to rant, his eyes wide and frantic. "Fuck Honesty's here? Fuck and he had hanahaki so he actually loved me fuck and Lust? Did lust love me? No wonder he warned me about Honesty he was looking out for me fuck-"

"Sorry man, didn't mean to put salt in your Kool-aid there, I just wanted to make sure you knew what was going on," he said and wiped some of the residual tears away. Virgil noticed, snapping out of his rant.

"You didn't answer my other question. Why were you crying in the bushes?"

Oz felt his heart sink. It was so much easier to pretend, to ignore feelings and joke then discuss them. And with somebody who was basically a stranger? It didn't sit well with him. Well, he thought glumly, maybe they could both relate, as they were the sad remnants of Honesty's bullshit.

"It's a long story."

"We have two miles to walk back to where Pride is; I only came up here because you were radiating anxiety like a beacon."

Oz sighed. "I'm one of the original three sides. Honesty, Patton, and me. Honesty outed my feelings to Patton, who then kissed me and strangled me to death." He said it so matter of factly- it had lost it's fun. Virgil started to say something about how Patton would never do that but stopped as Oz silently pulled off his scarf, revealing the bright bruises. Virgil fell silent. "I came back though, for about a day. Something about Thomas being so down about losing side after side, it forced me back. Then the Dragon Witch made some potion, Patton kissed me again, and then we pulled a good old double suicide to get over here to find ya'll."

"Patton's here?" Virgil said, seeming nervous about seeing the father figure. "Where is he?"

"It's kinda personal."

"How is it personal? I just asked where he was."

"I don't know. I ran away," Oz said, his stomach feeling sick again at the memory of what had happened between them, and he could practically feel Patton's touches...

Virgil seemed annoyed by these answers. "Why'd you run away? You said you had a crush on Patton; he kissed you- wait, did he and Lo break up?"

"No. That's... that's part of the problem," said Oz softly. "He... we didn't talk about it. We've never talked about it. It's just: Kiss! Now die! Every time. And when we got here, he Uhm, he tried to have sex with me."

"But he's still with Logan," Virgil reaffirmed.

"Yeah. And I... I didn't want it. I mean, I do, I want him, I just don't want him like that- I don't know! I'm in love with him, but it felt so wrong- I'm really glad Mattie-er, Honesty walked in on us when he did, I couldn't... I can't sleep with Pat. It made me want to throw up." Ugh, words were hard.

Virgil's expression softened. "That's really shitty, I know how you feel, somewhat. I mean, the guy I loved didn't murder me, but still. Sometimes people think that they have the right to take what they want. Honesty... he was like that too. And even when you love someone... being forced into sex when you don't want it feels absolutely terrible. And anyway, what you were describing, that sounds like asexuality to me."

"Oh. I guess you're right." There was a long silence between them. It was therapeutic, somewhat. And yet, he felt like shit. Complete and utter shit. There were three loud bangs in the distance, spaced out by about 5 minutes. Virgil startled, looking uneasy. "I've been meaning to ask. What are those loud bangs?"

Oz frowned, looking off into the distance. "It does that whenever somebody dies. Since Pat and I died at the same time, we showed up in the same place in the subconscious. Whoever those three were are gonna have a hard fucking time finding anyone, with that gap between their deaths."

Virgil bit his lip, and though Oz was standing next to him, he couldn't quite hear what the anxious side said. But it sounded like he was almost praying that it wouldn't be... somebody.

Who on earth could Virgil not want to find him? Besides the obvious Honesty, of course, but he was already here, and had been for hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't be a stranger! Feel free to let me know if I should add tags! (:


	19. Beautiful Dreamer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll've probably heard this song, it's really old. (Beautiful Dreamer by Stephen Foster) and I don't typically use songs for more than just chapter titles, but I figured it fit here.
> 
> [Chapter warnings]  
> -mentions of rape  
> -mentions of murder & suicide
> 
> idk man, ya'll know what sort of stuff goes on in this fic. Nothing too heavy happens here, but enjoy the heartfelt moments

Ugh, he was never going to hear the end of this one from Remus, was he? Janus sat up, rubbing the bridge of his nose to ease his headache. His temple hurt- well duh, he thought to himself. He took a bullet there- but otherwise he felt surprisingly good for being dead.

He looked around but didn't see the other two. That was fine, they had to be around here somewhere- but right now he needed to focus on finding the others. Patton had the jar of the potion, after all, and they couldn't get home without it.

He stood up slowly, feeling a little dizzy, and began to make his way down the hill he had woken upon. He had no particular reason for this, except for that it seemed like a reasonable way to go. And then he heard it. Somebody was singing. It was some old song- who used to sing it when they were little all children? Creativity, or maybe Patton? If it were Patton, then he would be in luck.

Beautiful dreamer,  
Wake unto me  
Starlight and dewdrops  
Are awaiting thee

Janus tore through the underbrush, searching for the source of the noise. There were multiple patches where the dead branches had been snapped, leaving a haphazard path. Janus stumbled along, searching, searching...

Sounds of the rude world  
Heard in the day  
Led by the moonlight  
Have all passed away

He broke into a very small clearing. The singer must have been around here somewhere. Then he heard it. A growl. Janus looked about, summoning his shepherd's crook. And, then on the other side of the clearing, he saw it. A chimera- one that Roman must have killed in the imagination. Crap.

Beautiful dreamer,  
Queen of my song  
List' while I woo thee  
With soft melody

Janus wished he hadn't been so rash; stomping in so loudly. Now the beast had spotted him. Fuck, he missed Remus. Remus would know what to do with a mythical beast- or rather, Remus would probably try and kill it again, despite them being unaware if that were possible. But at least he'd have his husband at his side, who was a far superior fighter.

Gone are the cares of  
Life's busy throng  
Beautiful dreamer  
Awake unto me  
Beautiful dreamer,  
Awake unto me

The beast looked at something behind him- and ran away. Janus looked around, puzzled, before seeing what the chimera had seemed. Honesty. Who was tied to a tree? He was humming the melody of the song, and Janus realized with great annoyance that it was just him. Not Patton. Not anyone he was even remotely hoping to see.

"Awww, not what you were expecting, Deceit?" he giggled. "You, however, are quite unexpected. I take it you died so you could help them get back, right? There hasn't been any new fun drama while I've been gone?"

"No. Have you seen the others?" Janus asked, wondering why he even bothered.

"I'll tell you if you untie me."

"Out of the question."

Honesty rolled his eyes, wriggling under the ropes. "You're no fun, Dee, that's your problem. Poor Apathy, he must be bored to death with his whore of a father."

Janus crossed his arms with a huff, turning to walk away. "I am not a whore; mind your own business."

Honesty laughed. "Oh, but it is my business, snake! Now, who was Apathy's daddy again? Your husband's brother? Kinda whorish if you ask me..."

Janus took the shepherd's crook, jabbing it into the tree an inch from Honesty's head and leaned in closely. "You don't have the right to talk about me like that. You've had sex with two of your 'children.'"

"It's not biological," Honesty said with a shrug.

"No, but it was rape! Not to mention Virgil-"

"Oh, no need to mention Virgil, Dee, you don't have enough time to live to spend it on that." And suddenly, Janus realized that Honesty had used the end of the crook to cut away his ropes. Honesty yanked it forward, pushing Janus to the ground and moving to bring it down over his head. 

"Shut the fuck up, you moldy cracker!" came a voice that Janus recognized to be Pride's. The side grabbed the end of the crook, ripping it out of Honesty's hands.

"P-Pride!" Honesty stuttered, at a complete loss for words. "You... you look great! Even dead, mon cher, you really-"

"YOU PUT A BULLET HOLE IN MY FUCKING UNIFORM!" Pride shouted, swinging the crook at Honesty's head. The side managed to duck but tripped backward over a root. "I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET THE BLOOD OUT! THIS IS CERTIFIED NAVY TWILL!"

"Would bleach work?" Honesty offered before Pride hit him over the head with the crook, knocking him out. Pride stood there, staring at Honesty for a long moment like he was drinking it in. He was breathing heavily as if he had been running. It must have been quite an experience to get to hit him.

Janus climbed to his feet, walking over to the side and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Ever." Pride said, handing the crook back to Janus, who waved his hand and it disappeared. "So. Suicide or murder?"

"I beg your pardon?" Janus asked. Pride gestured to the bullet wound in the side of his head.

"Oh! Yes, well, it's a long story really. I'm actually here to bring you home."

Pride smiled, running a hand through his hair. "Really! That's awesome. Virgil's sure going to be glad. That's actually why I came out here- usually, we stay at the clearing at the bottom of the hill, but Virgil went to check something out an hour ago and wasn't back yet, so I thought I should check on him."

Virgil. The name settled in Janus's mind. He'd get to see Virgil again. He hadn't seen him since their fight in the dungeons, and... gods, what was he going to say? Pride began to lead him back, talking quite a bit- hitting Honesty had put him in good spirits.

The subconscious had a terrifying beauty to it, Janus decided as they walked. Everything ashy and gray with a strange sort of stillness. Poor Oz, he couldn't help but think. He had been here alone for so long... from his own sense of things, Janus had shown up in the mindscape mere weeks after Oz had been killed, followed closely by Logan. It bothered him quite a bit to know that Patton and Honesty could have just as easily killed him. Well, he wasn't exactly surprised by Honesty, but Patton made him slightly sad. Just another depressing new reality, it seemed. The sooner they could get home, the better.

His thoughts came to a startling halt as they found the camp that Pride and Virgil had been staying in. There was nothing remarkable about it- there were hammocks and a firepit that somebody must have summoned, and it really didn't seem like the worst place in the world. Oz sitting against a tree, picking apart dead leaves and looking mopey. And then there was Virgil.

Virgil. Virgil, who he had practically raised. Virgil, who had been his closest friend for so long. Virgil, who had died because Janus couldn't protect him from Honesty. Janus's breath caught. Virgil turned from where he had been talking to Oz at the noise and visibly flinched.

"Virgil-"

"J-Janus, I'm..."

There was an awkward pause between the two. Oz and Pride looked vaguely uncomfortable and stepped away to have their own conversation, leaving the two of them in relative privacy. "Virgil... can I, err, can I hug you?" 

Virgil seemed completely caught off guard by the question. Janus seemed so nervous- but not angry with him as he'd expected. "I... Uhm... yeah-."

And Janus practically though himself into the taller side's arms. "Virgil, I... I'm so sorry. I should've been around more for you, I should've protected you from him." the deceitful side babbled, his eyes welling with tears as he clung to Virgil.

"You're not mad at me?" Virgil asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"How could I ever be mad at you? You didn't do anything wrong," Janus said, loosening his grip so that Virgil could get out of the hug if he felt overwhelmed. But Virgil simply hugged him tighter, and Janus realized that Virgil was crying too.

"I was so stupid, Jay, I said such awful things to you! How can you not be angry?" Virgil demanded.

"Hey, everyone does stupid things sometimes. Remus let Roman water a plastic plant for four months, remember? I left my shoes next to the fireplace and they melted. Pat baked cookies with salt instead of sugar. It's okay to make mistakes, Virge," Janus said, trying to comfort him.

"My mistake was so bad... it led to me, Lust and Honesty getting killed," Virgil said, and the two of them broke apart. Virgil sat down in the dead grass, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve.

"I know you think that now, but they're amendable. And before you start worrying about how you're being a burden, or that we killed ourselves to get here and find you- just remember that we wouldn't be here if we didn't love you. Okay? Nobody hates you."

Virgil laughed softly, and it was clear that a massive weight had been lifted from his chest. "I was afraid of seeing you again. That you were going to be pissed."

"Pissed? No. Tired? Absolutely." Janus said with a yawn, and laid back against a tree, tipping his hat down over his eyes. "I will, however, be pissed if you wake me up for a stupid reason."

___________________________________________________

"Remus, you need to try and take some deep breaths," said his twin, who was kneeling in front of him. "Janus will be back soon."

Remus clamped his hands over his ears, sobbing. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak. But fuck, could he think. His mind was moving at a million thoughts per second, a million intrusive ideas about what could befall his husband. Janus was always so good at grounding him. And now Janus was... was...

Apathy had found Patton and Oz's bodies. He didn't seem all that phased, to be honest. When Emile had asked about this, he explained that it was simply that he didn't care for either of them much, and in theory, they'd be back soon, so it didn't really count as some great loss.

Janus seemed to think of it differently. He clearly didn't trust Patton and didn't know Oz well enough to trust that he'd be successful in retrieving Virgil and the others. And so, without warning, he had given Remus a kiss on the cheek and tucked Apathy into bed, and then... and then...

Remus couldn't even think it, his eyes replaying the scene over and over. First Virgil, then Janus... what if the potion didn't work? Or something went wrong? Or-

There was a soft knock on the door, and it creaked open. Apathy stood there, a large blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a cloak, his eyes a bit bleary. It was what, four AM now? Roman had been trying without success to calm him down for hours.

"App, you need to go back to bed," Roman said kindly but firmly.

Apathy ignored him, instead of coming into the dimly lit bedroom, pushing past Roman and taking a seat next to Remus. He quietly reached out, sliding his hand into Remus's. "Breathe," Apathy whispered, and Remus found himself slowing down, his body forcing itself into a state calmer than he had been.

Roman sighed heavily, making some offhand comments about Apathy's powers to nullify emotions. Remus rubbed away some of the snot and tears from his ugly crying, turning to his nephew. "Thanks," he said hoarsely, forcing a soft smile. His mind felt a little clearer.

"I miss dad too," Apathy said softly, cuddling up next to Remus, wrapping the side in some of his oversized blanket. Apathy waved Roman over, and the other creative side sat down on the floor next to him. They all sat against the wall, not bothering to move somewhere more comfortable. Remus realized that Apathy had fallen asleep, the child leaned against Roman. And, that his brother was singing softly. It was a song one of the older sides used to sing, he remembered.

Beautiful dreamer,  
Wake unto me  
Starlight and dewdrops  
Are awaiting thee

He was glad to see that Roman was trying as hard as he was. It didn't change the fact that he had so deeply wounded them, but it was nice to just... sit quietly with his twin. To relax.


	20. Family Don't End In Blood (Or At Least It Shouldn't)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, this is a fun chapter. Sorry, I've been a bit less frequent than I promised, school work keeps me pretty busy. But I hope you like this!
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]
> 
> -Lots of blood. Lots.  
> -Logan is kinda a jerk  
> major character death (ya'll are used to this by now)

Nero woke up screaming in panic. It took him a few moments to realize where he was. Old habits die hard- and apparently, so had he. Nero leaned against a dead tree, sobbing for a few long moments as he tried to focus his mind.

Dead. Dead. Dead. He... he had actually done it. Well, he thought with a sigh. That wasn't quite accurate. Janus had found it easy enough to kill himself- the deceitful side didn't seem to think it was a big deal, as he was so immensely sure he would return. For Nero, what with how many times he had tried and failed to die- well, it was a bit more triggering of a matter.

He hadn't wanted to die. For the first time in a long, he was actually enjoying his life. He... loved Apathy. He loved showing the kid how to hit a baseball, to arm wrestle, to hide his vegetables so he wouldn't have to eat them. He was happy- except for the occasional loneliness he felt regarding being single, he was content. And then... everyone was dying, and Logan had asked him to go with.

"Roman and/or Remus would be ideal to serve as the brawn, but frankly, I don't trust Roman, and the two of them are important figures in Apathy's life and wellbeing," Logan had said.

And it had crushed him. Was that what he was? Expendable simply because he was strong? Trustworthy because he hadn't recently attempted to murder any of them? And... good because he wasn't important to Apathy. That had hurt the most. But Logan must have been right, he was logic. And it made sense, all things considered. Janus and Roman were his parents, and Remus his uncle. Of course, Apathy must love and need them more.

All that time he spent with Apathy didn't matter. Watching cartoons, reading him bedtime stories, going on hikes in the imagination to show him things like waterfalls and caves. That he would go to Apathy's room some nights, just to make sure the child was alive and sleeping soundly. It... none of it mattered. Because in Logan's mind- who was supposed to be the most intelligent- blood was more important than the fact that Nero had spent the most time with him. Logan just didn't understand- and apparently, neither did any of the others- that Apathy was his reason for living.

And Nero had always seen death as a way out. And here he was, in the prime of his life, at his happiest point- being asked to die. He had to say yes. Emile and Remy had commented on his mental health, and he really hadn't been as upset as he had sounded. It was rude of them to make the accusation that he would want to stay behind, sure, but... his mind and heart had been in turmoil. And then Patton and Oz had snuck off and jumped to it. That, for sure, was annoying.

As he had said, Janus had an easy enough time doing it because he didn't seem to think about it the same way. And so, he had asked Logan to help him. He didn't want to chicken out. That would be embarrassing, and he needed to be a valued member of the team here. They needed him.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Nero had asked as Logan summoned the blade into existence. Logan had locked the door of the bathroom, snapped on rubber gloves, and Nero had shakily climbed into the empty bathtub.

"Of course I'm sure, or we wouldn't be doing it. As Oz was proof of when you return there will be lasting damage to your body from the method in which you died. I wish Janus had listened to me, a hole in the head is not exactly becoming. Lacerations such as these can be easily covered by your sleaves or simple bandages."

Logan sterilized and wiped down the scalpel before looking to Nero expectantly. "Give me your arms, please."

"I..." Nero said, staring at the blade. Logan waited patiently. "Will it hurt?"

"Sure, but certainly not as much as other methods- and it won't hurt for long," Logan hurried and added when Nero's visibly paled.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" Nero asked softly, rolling up his sleeves.

Logan looked puzzled. "What do you mean? I don't typically believe fabrications are the wisest course of action. You're well suited for this expedition, despite your mental health-"

"No! I meant..." Nero looked away, and Logan realized with a start that the sin was blinking away tears. "I meant about Apathy. Am I not as important to him as Roman, Remus, and Janus? I mean, I know we're not related, and I'm a dark side and a sin, and I've hurt you all a lot back when I was helping Roman, and I guess it makes sense that you want me to die-"

Logan grabbed Nero's hand firmly as he spiraled, reaching up and wiping Nero's tears. "Wrath, you need to understand that's not how I meant it. Emotions aren't my forte, but I certainly didn't intend to cause you to distress over this. I don't hold your previous actions against you with malice. I don't want you to die because I don't like you, I need you to do this for the greater good of Thomas."

"But what about Apathy?" whimpered Nero.

"I didn't mean that with any disrespect," Logan said, reaching forward and grabbing Nero's left arm. "I simply meant that logically, you do not play an important roll in Apathy's development. You're not a parent, therapist, or teacher. You acted as a stand-in caretaker- which we were all certainly grateful for- until you were no longer needed for the task." With a quick motion, Logan drew the scalpel across Nero's arm, leaving a trail of deep crimson as blood began to seep out.

Nero had cried out, flinching and tugging away as Logan grabbed his other arm and did the same. Logan cleaned the scalpel, examined the wounds, and quickly walked out, despite Nero's raspy pleas to not be left alone.

Nero was not embarrassed to say that he passed out from the sight of his own blood. And now, of course, he thought it was perfectly excusable that he was sobbing under a tree. It had been a rough day.

There was a scream somewhere nearby. Seemed somebody was having a rougher one, he thought glumly as he scampered to his feet. He wandered in the direction of the scream. He came into a small clearing, and he could feel his anger wash onto him like a giant wave.

Honesty was sitting on the ground, blood dripping from a wound on his head where somebody had hit him- it must have been new, as Nero knew Honesty had died of hanahaki- and blood down his shirt, just like the other person out there. Honesty was pinning this other person, who was screaming for help muffled behind Honesty's hand.

Lust.

"Narcissus, love, what's with the sour face, hmm? Lemme guess... you wanted to reserve this lovely body for Virgil, right?" He drew a blade from the waistband of his skirt. He roughly yanked off Lust's jacket, and sliced open the younger man's shirt as he struggled futilely- it wasn't fair that he was so much weaker. "Well, since you told everybody just how much you dislike our playtime, why don't we switch it up a bit! This game is called 'will you still have a chance with Virgy if I dice up all that pretty skin?' "

Lust screamed and sobbed, begging Honesty not to touch him. Nero emerged from the trees. Honesty saw him and smiled, leaving a deep gash across Lust's cheek and making eye contact with Nero as he slowly licked it off. "Heya Wrath! Great to see you! Would you like to join me? I know that we never got to spend much time together. Wouldn't it be fun to do some bonding? Angry people like hurting others, don't they?"  
"I don't like hurting people, no," Nero said, wincing as Honesty left another cut on Lust's collar bone. He picked up a tree branch, walking closer to Honesty. "But I'd sure enjoy hurting you."

Honesty pressed the tip of the blade to Lust's heart, shaking his head with a whistle. "Nuh-uh, that's not how this game is supposed to work. See, if you get to close, I'll have to put this through his heart. Wouldn't it be fun to try and figure out if we can die here?" He drew a frowning face lightly on the skin over Lust's heart, drawing very little blood. "That sure would be sad. See, I don't want to kill him. Not right now, anyway. I need that potion back home that Morality has, and I think killing Lust would make him far less likely to give it to me. So sit back, relax and enjoy the show, mkay?"

Honesty made a deep cut on Lust's lip, leaned down and kissed him, enjoying the bitter taste. It was in that moment that Lust grabbed the knife from Honesty, drove it through his shoulder, and shoved him off. Nero ran forward, pulling Lust to his feet and grabbing his jacket, and the two ran as fast as they could from the light side.

"That was great, man!" Nero whooped, his hand laced in Lust's as he tugged the sin along. Lust didn't say anything, and Nero slowed to a halt. Lust slumped to the ground in the weeds, burying his face in his hands. Nero knelt down next to him.

"I was... I thought he... he was going to... not again..." was all Nero could make out, but it didn't seem that Lust was really saying anything coherent through his sobs anyway. The gray sky, which didn't seem to really be lighted by anything in particular, was growing dark fast. 

"Lust, we need to get out of the open, okay? It's more dangerous in the dark. Can I touch you?"

Lust shook his head violently but crawled slowly to his feet. Nero had spotted a cave a little ways away on the edge of the river and led the way in. It was damp and pretty small, but well enough tucked away that passers-by wouldn't spot them in the dark. Nero ripped a corner off his shirt and moistened it in the river, handing it to Lust.

"You've got some pretty deep cuts, man, you should clean them off."

After about three minutes, Lust found his voice enough to respond. "Help me. Please." Nero slowly moved closer, reminding Lust that it would sting, and washed the wounds. It was a slow process, as Nero didn't want to startle the younger side with sudden movements, and the water was cold, but Lust seemed to calm down quite a bit. "I thought... I was afraid he would-"

"I know," Nero said, taking off his slightly bloody leather jacket and folding it into a makeshift pillow, ushering Lust to lay down. Lust curled up, crying softly. And for the rest of the night, they sat in sick, crummy silence.


	21. Uh Oh Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, my posting schedule's been wack- school's been bad for my vibe.
> 
> [Chapter warnings]  
> -mentions of suicide  
> -Pining  
> -Apathy has a breakdown part 1

Apathy got up first, leaving the sleeping twins alone. It was still dark and very early in the morning, and it seemed everyone was asleep. Apathy wandered down the halls, flinching as he passed rooms where the doors were closed. Were these rooms closed because there was somebody sleeping? Because castles can get drafty? Or because there were dead bodies behind those doors? Which one held Janus? Which one held Nero?

Apathy tried to shake the feeling from his bones as he wandered into the kitchens. After mistakingly taking a bite out of a decorative apple on his way there, he had quite the appetite. It seems he had been wrong about everyone sleeping, however. Gluttony was up, eating from a large plate of chicken nuggets, and the dragon witch sitting on the counter, reading through their spellbook.

Greed was asleep next to Envy in the corner on a pile of flour sacks, despite the fact that there were dozens of bedrooms in the castle. Gluttony spotted Apathy, pointed to the two of them, and made a 'be quiet' gesture- as if Apathy didn't understand that they were asleep.

Apathy wandered over to the small table where Gluttony was eating. "May I have one?" he asked, gesturing to the plate. Gluttony nodded with a sigh, pushing the plate over.

"Are you in love with him?" Apathy asked suddenly as he nibbled his chicken nugget, waving to the sleeping sins.

Gluttony sputtered. "What? No, I'm not in love with Envy, don't be ridiculous." He shoved three chicken nuggets in his mouth.

"I didn't say that I was talking about Envy." Apathy said, and the Dragon Witch had to put a hand over their mouth to stifle their laughter.

Gluttony blushed deeply, looking down at his feet. "I mean... yes. I am. But that's silly, he always had a thing for Pride, and next to that prick I don't stand a chance."

Apathy shrugged. "Well, considering Pride's dead-"

"But he won't be for long!" Gluttony whisper yelled, combing his fingers through his dirty hair.

Apathy shrugged again, his passiveness still catching Gluttony as odd for a young child. But then again, what wasn't odd about their lives? "I can tell how people feel you know. I can feel the changes in the mindscape when sides die. I can control how people feel, kinda, by mellowing them out. And I know that, with all this hanahaki stuff, keeping feelings to yourself isn't healthy."

"Envy didn't get hanahaki over Pride. I doubt it's an exact science," Gluttony scoffed.

"You're right. He didn't. And you know what that means? He didn't love Pride quite as much as you think. Sure he had a crush on Pride, but it's nothing like what you feel for Envy. And he loves you too, anyway."

Gluttony sat in stunned silence. "Damn little guy, I am forever impressed by you," The Dragon witch said with a toothy smile.

Gluttony finally found his voice. "Can you tell how everyone feels about each other?"

Apathy thought for a moment. "No, not really. I can understand incredibly strong or negative emotions. Dr. Picani can see all of them. It's pretty awkward, really," he said, ducking his head and eating another chicken nugget.

"How's it awkward?" The Dragon Witch asked.

Apathy bit his lip. "Just... it feels like some things are private, or it's better that I didn't know. My dad wants Nero back so much, but he knows their relationship was bad. Dr. Picani is sad all the time, and Remy doesn't notice. don't even get me started on Patton and Logan. Patton is.... bad. A different kind of bad from Honesty, though. Honesty knew he was bad and didn't care. Patton doesn't know, and I think that's dangerous."

Gluttony felt awkward like he was violating the other's privacy. But, he guessed, that was how Apathy felt all the time. "That's not Gucci, little man." Apathy yawned, eating another chicken nugget. There was a long silence. "You should get some sleep, I doubt your dad would be okay with you up this late, talking to us-"

Apathy shook his head, his expression quite bitter for a child. "Roman's not the boss of me. He doesn't get to be a sucky dad and suddenly jump back in. I care about him, but I know he was a bad person. He doesn't get to tell me what to do."

The Dragon Witch and Gluttony exchanged looks. "That's a strong opinion for a child," The Dragon Witch said.

"I may be a kid, but I'm also a side. I wish they wouldn't leave me out of everything. Papa Janus didn't even tell me he was going to kill himself. I might never see him again!" Apathy said, rubbing tears from his eyes. Gluttony didn't know what to do. Comforting crying children was not his forte. "And Nero... he... he left. He was my favorite, and he... Logan just asked him too and he did it! He didn't even talk to me after the meeting, he was just gone!" 

Apathy sobbed his head in his arms at the table. Envy woke up at the noise- it wasn't particularly loud, but he didn't sleep deeply- and walked over, shooting a glance at The Dragon Witch for an explanation, but they didn't offer any.

"App, why don't you talk to Remus about this? I bet he's having a hard time, Janus was his husband."

"I wanted too," Apathy whispered, looking up at the others, his face flushed. "But when I went to talk to him, he was... he was so sad. How could I ask him to comfort me? I'm not his kid. I'm Apathy, I shouldn't be so sad." He rubbed his eyes.

Envy sat down in the seat next to Gluttony. "Apathy, we know that it hurts. We've lost three members of our family this year. Pride, Lust, Wrath- Janus, Virgil, Patton, Oz, Logan- hell, Honesty is the worst person I've ever met, and it doesn't feel great for me that he died; he was like our dad. We have to have faith that they'll come back, or we're not going to feel any better."

"Except for Honesty," Gluttony added. "He doesn't need to come back."

"Of course. But App, I'm sorry that things have been so hard on you in these months you've been around. You don't deserve it." Envy said sympathetically and wiped the residual tears from the child's face. "Now, do you want to go back to bed or hang around? It's 5 am, so we can just start our day."

"I wanna stay with you guys." Apathy said softly.

Gluttony nodded. "Do you want to make breakfast with me? I'm a good cook! We could do waffles, Pancakes- or it doesn't have to be breakfast food!"

Apathy smiled. "I don't really like sugar, but we can make whatever you want."

"Nuh-uh, little fella," Gluttony laughed, and Envy scooped Apathy up from behind, who shrieked and giggled until the older side set him on the counter so he could reach things better. "You gotta pick."

Apathy blushed. "Could we... Uhm... have Spaghetti for breakfast? I love Spaghetti."

Gluttony laughed, Envy ruffled the child's hair and they set to work. Gluttony couldn't help but notice how Apathy would purposefully stand to the side so that Gluttony would find himself standing next to Envy. Greed woke up at some point, made coffee, drank it, and immediately went back to sleep.

It was nice- despite how horrible everything else was- it made everything seem a bit lighter.

______________________________________________________

Logan didn't fancy killing himself, but the opportunity to chart a new part of the mindscape was an exciting prospect. He woke up on a steep hill, tried to stand up, and immediately lost his balance, breaking one of the lenses in his glasses in the process. His lungs hurt a bit, and the cold air of the night- he assumed it was night, for it was dark- made his wet skin tingle slightly. 

Drowning in the river was clearly not the best option- the weather sucked. 

He heard shouting in the distance. Screaming and pleading from one voice, and then a cry from another. The place was disorienting- he didn't imagine going in the direction of the screams was a wise decision, but frankly how else was he to find his way to the others? 

Logan stumbled through the dark, trying to watch his step, but despite the lantern he summoned, he took more than a few hard falls. Perhaps he should wait until light, Logan decided, sitting down against a tree. And then he heard a voice.

"Lo?"

Patton. It was Patton. Logan stood quickly. "Pat? I'm here, where are you?"

"I don't know. It's so dark. I'm scared, I got lost!"

The voice seemed a way off. "Keep talking, I'll try and find your voice!"

For the next half hour, Logan stumbled around, looking for Patton. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his wrist, dropping the lantern. It shattered, and the light went out. "Patton, thank Newton I found you-"

The man he thought was Patton tightened his grip, putting a hand over Logan's mouth. "Guess again, buckeroo."

Logan bit the hand. "Honesty, I don't know what you think you're going to do to me-"

The person pulled Logan tight to his chest so he couldn't get away, his grip strong. His mind flew over the candidates- who on earth could be holding him captive in the dark, cold forest? "Strike two! One more and you're out," the voice whispered.

Logan realized and shuddered. "Oh. You."

"Yeah. Me."

Logan felt something heavy come down over his head, and he lost consciousness.


	22. Do I Wanna Know If This Feeling Goes Both Ways?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy oh boy, this is a positively delicious chapter.
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]  
> -torture torture torture and some gore  
> -attempted rape/non-con  
> -idk ya'll, let me know if you think of any tags you want me to add, they're always welcome

Oz woke to somebody kissing him. Hard. His eyes snapped open in panic, and he scrambled back. The sun was rising, leaving long shadows across the forest floor, and he could see Patton, who was kneeling next to him, giggling softly. "Hey, Ozzy! I was looking for you!" Patton said, slinking onto Oz's lap.

Oz began to say something, but Patton pressed a finger to his lips. "I was worried about you. Why'd you run off like that?"

Oz's looked around quickly. Pride was an early riser, so he was gone, but Virgil and Janus were asleep nearby. "'m sorry Pat," Oz whispered. "I was just freaked out, I guess. Can you get off me?"

Patton laughed quietly as if Oz's request was stupid. Patton leaned forward, kissing along Oz's neck. "Don't wake up the others; I want you to myself." The heart took off his cardigan and pulled off Oz's shirt.

"I don't... Patton, I don't want to do this," Oz whispered harshly.

Patton pouted, doing his best sad-eyes. "You don't want me? I thought you loved me. I guess I was wrong."

"What? No, that's not what I mean! I do love you, Patton, I just... I don't want to sleep with you," Oz said, growing nervous when Patton gave him a killer look.

"Oh, so you don't think I'm good enough, is that it? Well, let me prove it to you." Patton snapped his fingers and Oz's mouth was gagged, Patton tying his arms with a rope to a tree. Oz struggled, but Patton slapped his cheek softly. "Aww, don't do that. This will be fun, you'll see."

Patton licked his fingers, preparing to stretch Oz out when somebody shouted something. With a roll of his eyes and a snap of his fingers, they were both completely redressed and Oz was untied. Patton kissed him- far too much tongue, he decided- and stood up, looking in the direction of whoever was making the noise.

Logan was running, a wild look in his eyes, down the hill. He seemed to have lost his glasses, his shirt was torn and he seemed a bloody, muddy mess. He was limping considerably, his ankle mangled, and he looked scared out of his mind. He stumbled, falling into Patton's arms. "Pat, p-please, please be you. Please, be my Patton, not the other one."

"W-what? Logie, what's going on?" Patton said, as is he hadn't been about to cheat on him. "Sit down. Here," he summoned a blanket and a new pair of glasses for Logan, and he and Virgil began to tend to Logan.

Janus, however, stood stock still. His expression was difficult to read, Oz noted, but there was something about it that seemed very, very wrong. His eyes were flickering between Oz and Patton quickly as if he was reading an intense seen as a book. Slowly, he leaned down, grabbing Oz's hand and tugging him to his feet. "Whatever happens, you need to stay out of Patton's reach, you understand me?"

Oz nodded. That sure wouldn't be hard. Janus tapped Virgil's shoulder, drawing the side's attention. He tipped his head, to the side, and Virgil stood up and back. He decided that he trusted Janus over Patton any day.

"Patton," Janus said, and there was a hint of rage on his tongue.

"Mhm? What's up, Jay?" 

"Do you remember what I asked you to do?"

Silence. Janus was staring daggers at Patton, who looked pleasantly confused. "Whatcha mean, friendo?"

Janus tilted his head, his smile slightly devious. "You know... after the meeting, where it was revealed that Honesty was a disgusting, sniveling, rapist prick?"

Patton's expression tightened as if his smile was forced. Logan seemed to realize what Janus was implying, and inched slowly away. Patton stood, facing the shorter side. Virgil grabbed Oz's arm, pulling him back. "Sorry, I can't quite recall what you're talking about."

"You know, the conversation we had after agreeing that Honesty was about as useful to Thomas as a screendoor on a submarine? That he would struggle to poor water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel?" Janus prompted, his smirk proud but his eyes bitter.

Patton's eye twitched. "Hey now, that's not-"

"who," Janus began, getting up in Patton's face, "if we're being honest- I would never enter a battle of wits with because he's so unarmed?" Patton brought his hand up to bitch slap Janus, but one of his extra arms flew up and caught his hand. "Uh oh, the cover's blown, H." Janus sing-songed with a laugh.

Janus summoned a rope, and in a whirlwind of his arms, had Patton tied up. In a strange, rippling effect, it was suddenly Honesty, not Patton, who was standing before them. "Wow, for a dirty slut I didn't think you were that smart."

"Aww, thanks. Leave it to an oxygen-waisting pedophile to call rape victims sluts," Janus said, kicking Honesty in the shins as he walked by. Honesty stuck out his tongue.

"Where's Patton?" Virgil asked, not looking at Honesty.

Honesty smiled, ignoring the question, and Oz was startled by the genuine softness in his voice. "I missed you so much I died, Virgie. Can't you see, we're meant to be, I love you-"

"Yeah, well I didn't want to be with you so much I died, so no, we're not meant to be," Virgil said. Honesty frowned, and it seemed he wanted to say something more, but his eyes were drawn to Oz, who was hugging his knees, clearly dissociating.

"What's wrong, O? You get a boner for Patsy and now you're sad it's just little old me?" Honesty taunted.

Oz's eyes were filled with emotions so raw it was hard to look at, even for Honesty. "Why... at every chance you get... do you have to fuck up our lives, Mattie? Why do you enjoy hurting the people who cared about you?"

Honesty paused, seeming unsure how to answer the question. Logan, who Janus had gone to tend to, cleared his throat. "Because he's a sociopath. I can't cite a single instance that he's done something for Thomas's benefit. He wants attention, and whenever anyone gives him an ounce of trust or love he destroys it."

After a long silence, Honesty laughed. "Yeah, teach is about right. How can Thomas get anywhere in life if he blindly trusts people? Kid's gotta toughen up."

"That's not what he means and you know it. Now, where's Patton you gross piece of shit?" Virgil said, finding his voice but still unable to look at the side.

"Dunno, haven't seen him since I walked in on him trying to get in Oz's pants." His expression twitched, making it clear he was lying, but nobody commented on this. "I do know where Pride is though, wanna take a guess?"

"Ignore him," Logan choked. "Last night Pride knocked me unconscious and dragged me to a cave along the river. He's probably still there."

"Why'd he do that?" Virgil asked, his brow furrowed.

Logan shrugged, wincing as he did so. "I'm afraid I don't know. It was dark- I think he was working with or for Honesty. But I can lead you to him."

Janus nodded. "I think that's best. Oz, would you be willing to stay with Honesty while Virgil and I go to retrieve Pride?"

Oz had been eerily silent. No jokes or 80's slang, no comedic relief to ease the tensity of the early morning. But he nodded, straining to give Janus a reassuring smile, and went back to picking his nails furiously, as if the meaningless task was incredibly important and required his attention. While Virgil helped Logan to a standing position and acted as his crutch, the deceitful side knelt beside him.

"What's wrong?"

"W-what? What do you mean?" Oz said, but his voice was so dead and barren it sent a chill down Janus's spine.

"Oh come on. I'm a dad and acted as a parental figure for a lot of sides. I can tell you're having a hard time, Oz," Janus said softly, and shrugged off his cape, wrapping it around Oz's shoulders.

"Maat- Honesty.... he... this morning, when he was pretending to be Patton, he tried to... you know..." Oz said, praying he wouldn't have to explain further.

Janus's eyes narrowed, his lips forming a tight line as he nodded solemnly. He patted Oz's shoulder, quietly standing up, his boots crunching in the dead leaves. "Honesty." He said the name strangely, in a tone very unlike usual.

"What's up, slut?" Honesty said, and cried out in surprise and pain as Janus grabbed him, digging his gloved fingertips into the stab wound in his shoulder to pull him to his feet.

"Fuck, cut it out!" Honesty screamed as Janus pushed his fingers deeper into the wound. Honesty tried to pull away, but Janus had him pushed against a tree.

"Awww, you don't like it when people are in you without your consent?" Janus asked, a dangerous smile growing as he picked a stick up off the ground with one of his other arms, examining it, and plunging it into the wound. 

"Oh, but it's just so fun for me!" Janus laughed, mocking Honesty's tone as the side begged, pleaded, struggled, and cursed him. "So I'm just gonna do what I want! It doesn't matter that Lust was a child, Virgil somehow actually cared about you, or that you were pretending to be somebody Oz trusted. You just love it, don't you?!"

It was Virgil who placed a hand softly on Janus's back, drawing his attention away from Honesty. "Jay, he's not gonna learn. I appreciate the effort, but just let it be over? Please?"

Janus sighed heavily, dropping the stick. Honesty slumped with a whimper, his collar bone clearly exposed and the muscle around it mangled. He snapped his gloves clean, smiled to Oz, and Virgil, Logan and he went on their way.

Oz sighed. He sure wished Janus had been around back in the old days. Maybe he'd have kept Honesty and Patton from killing him. It was a nice thought to occupy himself with.

______________________________________________

Nero woke to the sounds of pain. He looked quickly to Lust, who slept soundly, and sighed. It must have been far off. The rushing water distorted the noise, so he wasn't sure where it came from- not from within the cave. So he shook Lust awake gently, and the two of them exited the cave.

"What did you hear?" Lust asked, looking around at the morning sky. It was an uglier day than before, a drizzle beginning to come down.

"A scream, a ways off."

Lust shrugged, rubbing some of the bleariness from his eyes. "Well, they're done screaming now, so I'm going back to bed."

Lust went back into the cave, fluffing up Nero's jacket to use as a pillow. "I like this jacket, I'm keeping it."

"Sorry, Apathy called dibs on it. And anyway, you've got that new one from Virge."

Lust shrugged, yawning, but not going back to sleep. "Yeah, but I want a jacket from both of my favorite boys."

Nero froze as if he had just been stabbed. And, if you remember, he had been. This felt pretty similar. Lust didn't seem to understand Nero's expression. "What's with the stare? You look like you were electrocuted or something."

"F-favourite?" Nero managed, his voice fragile.

"I mean, yeah. You're kind of my only friend, Wrath. Most people don't even give me the time of day unless they want something." Now Lust was blushing. The air felt heavy.

"I used to hate you," Nero blurted out.

"So did the rest of my family, that's no big deal." 

Nero took a seat against the wall next to Lust. "You don't deserve to be hated. I'm sorry." It sounded so robotic, fuck, what was he saying? He was so distracted, there were so many feelings going through his mind...

"It's cool, man. Hey, if I held a grudge against you I wouldn't have gotten you those boots in secret Santa. I remember you used to wear them when we were kids but you didn't anymore- I'm sorry if it was a stupid gift," Lust said awkwardly.

"No! I love it... I love them." Nero thanked the lucky stars he hadn't had a Freudian slip there. He barely understood his feelings, and Lust loved Virgil. He didn't want to deal with these new feelings toward the sin he used to dislike.

"I'm glad," Lust grinned, and then something seemed to click for him. He giggled. "Oh you hopeless gay, you like me, don't you?"

Nero's eyes widened, and he began to sputter out a denial, but Lust was laughing hard. "You do realize who I am, right? I can read your feelings like a book written for very young children."

"...right," Nero said, blushing deeply. "I... I care about you. A lot. I've sort of started to realize that over the last few weeks, and, quite frankly I don't think I want to have another physical relationship, not after how to train wreck-ish my last couple was. And anyway, you like Virgil, so it's stupid."

"Yeah, but if you haven't noticed, Virgil doesn't exactly like me back," Lust said with a sigh. "I don't think I could do a physical relationship either, even with Virgil if he loved me. Things are different now." A long silence followed. "Why don't we just do things the way and speed we want to do them?" 

Lust nodded, wrapping an arm around Nero in an awkward half-hug. "That'd be nice."

And despite how crappy they both felt, the world seemed a little less dark in their damp little cave by the river.

___________________________________

Downstream, however, things were feeling very, very dark for Pride. He had run out of tears a while ago- and that was before Patton had ripped out his left eye.

"I knew you'd fail. Honesty had so much faith in you, but considering that you wouldn't help us until after I took this-" he waved a small, roundish object at Pride, and then tossed it to him. Pride screamed, despite his already hoarse voice, as his own eye splattered to the ground next to him.

"I- I'm sorry. Please, please Morality, I didn't mean to let Logan go, I promise!"

"Oh sure. And now I bet Honesty's gotten himself captured, and I'm stuck with the dirty work. Per usual. I just wanted Logan, Oz, and Honesty, and now all this!" Patton's expression glitched frog-like for a second, but he calmed himself down.

"It doesn't matter. I have the potion to get us back, no matter what, I get to decide who goes home."

Patton grinned, walking to the edge of the cave, kicking Pride in the stomach on his way, and stretched, taking a deep breath of the morning air. "Of course you do. You're in charge, Pat," he said to himself. He was very, very tired. But nothing could stop him.


	23. Baby We Built This House On Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (: Hello my darling readers! Prepare to suffer! :)
> 
> [Chapter Warings]  
> \- blood and gore (gross)  
> (IDK what else, really. Mentions of stuff from earlier in the fic, but that's about it)

Nero heard voices outside the cave. He grabbed Lust's hand and his jacket, pulling them outside. Just across the river, stood Janus, Virgil, and Logan. Nero cupped his hands around his lips and yodeled to get their attention, nearly causing poor Virgil to have a heart attack.

"Hey, fuckers!" Nero laughed, waving excitedly. Lust grinned, but it was awkward to see Virgil. The anxious side seemed to think the same.

"Hi boys! Great to see you!" Janus called back. "Can you get across to us?"

"I can swim, can you?" Lust asked.

Nero rolled his eyes. "Bold of you to assume I can do anything," he chuckled, giving Lust's hand a squeeze. He looked back at the others. "No, but we can try and find somewhere shallow to cross."

Logan, who Nero realized with a start was barely conscious with a few bad injuries, shakily waved his hand upstream. "Approximately 2 miles up and across is the camp they were staying at, Oz is currently supervising Honesty there now. It would be appreciated if you could go make yourselves useful and assist him."

Lust paled considerably. Nero was about to accept the task when he saw this. "I am not about to force you to interact with Honesty. Here," he said, slinging his jacket over Lust's shoulders. "This is waterproof and like, vaguely magic, I think? I'm not sure, I may or may not have stolen it from Roman. You swim over and join them, I'll go up and knock Honesty's teeth out."

Lust nodded, Nero hugged him, and they went their separate ways. It felt incredibly good to have somebody on his team. Like the sweet comfort of a warm bath with lavender soap, it made him happy; it made him actually feel... real, in a way.

Virgil waited and waited for Lust to say something; to say anything to him when he got across. But he didn't. He smiled softly but made sure to stand on Janus's far-right, so he could avoid interaction with the anxious side. That really made it worse, in Virgil's mind. The tension. Well, he was literally Anxiety, and not talking when something needed to be said was the bane of his existence.

"So what did you say happened last night, Logan?" Lust was asking when Virgil came away from his thoughts.

Logan rubbed his eyes. Janus wasn't letting him sleep, as he believed the logical side had a concussion and Logan seemed slightly irritated by the notion, even though he knew Janus was right. "It was dark out, and I was looking for Patton. I thought I found him, but it was Pride. He hit me over the head. When I woke up... I was in a cave, and I lost my glasses. There were two or three people there, I think. A lot of in-fighting between them. Somebody beat me a substantial amount, I assume it was Honesty, and then... I got free. I'm not sure how, but somebody let me down and told me to get out of there. I just stumbled along until I found the others, really."

"And we still haven't heard from or seen Patton?" Lust asked, biting the inside of his lip. He tried to like Patton, he really did- but the guy made him uneasy. Especially with the whole murder thing.

"Oz saw him yesterday when they arrived, but not since," Virgil recalled.

"And you guys left Oz with the man who murdered him... while the other man who murdered him is out here somewhere?" Lust asked.

Logan scoffed. "Patton would never do anything like that, not again. And anyway, he's tied up, I'm not all that worried." Lust fell quiet, but that didn't mean he didn't have more to say. He had simply grown used to the fact that there was no use arguing with Logic. "I was in there," Logan said, and they stopped to look in a cave on the edge of the river bed. It was about four feet tall at the entrance but clearly got larger as you went further back, into an abyss of darkness.

And, when they were all quiet, you could just barely hear crying over the sound of the river. "Virgil, will you stay out here with Logan? I know you hate cramped spaces."

Janus was apparently so right about this that Virgil visibly relaxed, he and Logan going to sit on the grassy bank of the river. Janus waved Lust over, and the two of them ducked inside. It was a long cave, most assuredly. Janus summoned two flashlights, handing one to Lust, and they tread carefully, so as not to slip on the damp stone that sloped slightly downwards, deep into the cold ground.

After walking a couple of minutes, Janus through his arm out in front of Lust, a third arm coming up and putting a finger to his lips, gesturing that he listens. A faint noise- a horrible, panicked, and pained whimpering and groaning.

They crept forward in the direction of the noise until their lights fell upon a shuddering figure, who had pulled themself tightly into a ball in the corner. "Hello? Pride, is that you?" Janus asked, and the person turned toward them. 

Lust screamed. He didn't mean to- Janus's sharp intake of breath indicated he felt the same- pure horror.

Pride's face was a mess of blood all over, making it hard to see what going on. But his left eye socket gaped, gross and empty, the eye nowhere to be seen. His mouth was duct-taped shut and his arms bound behind him at awkward angles- something, if not multiple things, were broken.

Janus ran forward, his arms a flurry of movement as they worked to untie him, telling Pride it was okay, that he didn't look that bad- it didn't take a genius to see that he was lying. Lust was stock still, holding his flashlight up so Janus would have light, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything else. Last time he'd seen Pride, the side was bleeding out on the floor from a gunshot wound. This was much, much worse.

Pride tried to stay still as Janus carefully removed the ducktape from his mouth, but he was shaking horribly. It was then that Lust realized there was something in his mouth, and Janus put his hand up to Pride's chin, like a parent might if they were waiting for their child to spit out some flower or something unedible from the park.

"Come on Pride, it's all right," Janus coaxed, but he looked sick when Pride slowly spat out his own, bloody eye. Janus put it aside and snapped his glove clean, wrapping an arm around Pride.

"In my mouth in my mouth, he put it in-" Pride blubbered over and over, his voice hoarse from screaming. Janus eased him to his feet, and Lust took his other side, and they half dragged him through the slippery dark cave. It seemed a lot longer of a way to get out then it had to get in. 

Making it to the daylight seemed to calm Pride down a bit, as he started to carry a bit more of his own weight, but he did not stop repeating the same phrase over and over, his undamaged eye hazy and distant looking.

As they emerged from the cave, Logan looked over angrily but paled when he saw the state Pride was in. Janus and Lust helped Pride sit down, and the sin threw up for a few moments before sitting back in the grass, eerily silent. Virgil summoned a warm washcloth and he and Janus tried to get the massive quantity of blood off his face, neck, and from his hair. 

Pride's clothes were clearly ruined, and Janus felt bad for him. He knew how much the sin cared for his appearance. If a bullet hole had made him so upset before, the massive stain should have infuriated him, but he didn't notice, or simply didn't care.

"What the hell happened to him, Lo?" Janus hissed to Logan.

"I don't know, to the best of my knowledge he was not in this state before I left," Logan said quietly, his eyes fixated on the ground so he wouldn't have to look at Pride.

"There was nobody else in the cave?" Virgil asked, and Lust shook his head. "Well then, I guess that kinda leaves what, four possibilities?"

"Four?" Lust asked, and his confusion was mirrored by the others.

Virgil blushed under all of their attention. "Well, Obviously there's Honesty. I really don't know a lot about wounds, but it looks kinda fresh, don't you think? So that may rule him out, since it's probably been hours since he was here, and also I think Honesty'd have done a lot more than just take out his eye. It could be self-inflicted, but-"

"Pride's never been a self-harmer, Virgil," Lust interrupted. "And he's never done anything like this."

"Exactly. I don't really think he could do that. So that leaves Logan and... and Patton." Logan's eyes flashed with anger.

"You can't possibly be serious! It could easily have been Lust or Nero! Or even one of you two," Logan spat. "But sure, let's blame the two light sides when this has you darks written all over it!"

"Come on, Lo, I thought we were past this crap," Janus said boredly. "I see no reason why you're so defensive. We're not playing Among Us- it's not like we'll toss you out of the ship without evidence, you're our friend."

Logan settled down, waiting for Virgil to explain himself. "Well, I just kinda thought... Janus and I are each other's alibis, as are Nero and Lust. You and Patton are the only ones who can't be vouched for."

Logan sat quietly for a moment before his eyes brightened with an idea. "Janus, am I lying when I say I did not do this to Pride?"

Janus thought for a second before shaking his head. "I don't believe so, but I really don't know if my powers are affected by the subconscious, or by the bullet in my head, or-"

"Janus says I'm not lying, so it clearly isn't me!" yelled Logan. "And neither would Patton!" 

Pride suddenly shrieked, startling everyone. His hands flew to his eye socket, shuddering when he realized it's a vacancy. "No no no no no! Please, I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean too! Stop it, please, M-morality!" He threaded his fingers through his hair, sobbing and pulling hard. "I didn't mean too, p-please, it... it hurts." He curled up in the grass, and despite their words, he was far too distraught to calm down.

"Well, it's clear that it was... him," Lust said, avoiding the use of Pride's trigger. "What the hell did he want? Why would he do this?"

Logan was quiet. With Pride's sobs, Virgil and Janus, and trying to comfort him, and the loud river, what was he to do? How could he accept that the man he loved had... had...

______________________________________________

Honesty was, as you know, terrible. An ass, of epic proportions. And he didn't fail to live up to that now. "So you didn't like my little Patton stunt, hmm? Was it unrealistic? I just want to know, for like, next time." Honesty said, smiling at Oz. "And anyway, can I have one?" Oz was making peanut butter sandwiches, and he really, really hoped that Oz would give him one. It was hard enough that he couldn't summon things (a part of being banished) and he was hungry. Oz through a piece of bread at him that he had previously dropped in the dirt and went back to ignoring the side.

"Aww come on, Ozzy. I know I'm not much of an actor, but it can't have been that terrible-"

"It was too accurate. There, are you satisfied?!" Oz snapped, tugging Janus's cape tight around his shoulders and eating his food.

Honesty blinked. "... too accurate?"

"I used to think Patton killed me because of you. That you had somehow warped him, that even if he hated me, he would never... never kill me." Oz's hands drifted to his neck and stopped, massaging the phantom pain of choking that suddenly surged through him. "But..."

"But you see now, don't you? Lil' old Patty isn't as good as you thought."

"It... it doesn't make sense," Oz said, his voice somewhat meek. "Remember when we were little? Things were so... easy. Fun. Why did they have to change?"

Honesty thought for a long moment. "Do you remember when Thomas was... hrm... I'd say about three years old, and we were at the playground on that windy day?"

Oz brightened up considerably. "Oh, I loved that! There were so many crunchy leaves that he could stomp in or jump in, and he was learning to use the swings-"

"Yes," interrupted Honesty. He clearly didn't care as much for reminiscing. "And there were some older kids there playing with them, and one of them pushed Thomas's brother off the jungle-gym? Well, Patton and I agreed that we should tell on the kid, but you... you didn't like that."

Oz was feeling very confused. Where the hell was this going? "Yeah, I wanted Thomas to seem cool to the older kid, and telling on him would make him hate us."

Honesty nodded. "And when we did tell and the kid was mad, you made Thomas upset for days. And it was then that I realized. Even if I worked very hard to do something beneficial for Thomas, there was really no winning with you around, was there?"

Depression made no effort to hide his surprise. "THAT's why you killed me? I made your job a bit harder?!"

Honesty shrugged, the movement a bit hard with his arms tied up. "Oh sure. And what with your feelings for Patton, and his for you, I assumed that a workplace romance would further complicate things. It was for the best, you must get that."

Oz sighed deeply. "You know what? I shouldn't be surprised. You've always been this shallow."

"Why thank you," Honesty said, and now he was smiling. "Deceit showed up a little after you. I wanted to smother him in his sleep, but then Logan came along, and things got tricky. I thought that waiting might help, but then there was all that shit with the sins... It's crazy to think about it, right? That the creativities fighting over the right to get between Deceit's legs would lead to the three of us, reminiscing about childhood memories?"

Oz's blood ran cold, unable to turn around to see who he knew was there. "Three of us?"

Two strong hands grabbed his shoulders. "Hi Ozzy, did you miss me?"

Oz screamed, trying to pull away, but a hand was quickly clamped over his mouth. Patton must have snapped Honesty free, because suddenly, Patton had shoved him into Honesty's arms, standing back to look. "Gosh, you're so cute like this, Oz!" Patton giggled, reaching forward and pinching Oz's tear-stained cheek. 

"Isn't he, Pat? Oh, I would just love to play with him..." Honesty began, his hands creeping lower. Patton slapped Honesty's hand. "Oh behave yourself, Mattie, or I won't let you bring Virgil back with us."

Honesty rolled his eyes but stopped. In the distance, they heard something. "Yo, Oz? You around here? The others said you would be." Through a gap in the trees, the three of them could see Nero, his back to them, and his hands cupped around his mouth, calling for him.

Oz bit Honesty's hand, drawing in a breath to scream, when Patton raised his hand, summoning an anvil, which floated about 15 feet above Nero's head. "Oh, I've always wanted to do this! It'll be just like the cartoons! So, Ozzy... scream and he dies."

Oz closed his mouth slowly, sobbing as the two pulled him away from Nero, who was so close- if he could have just seen... but he didn't.


	24. Repression Can Be Very Bad Indeed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> damn, two chapters in one day, and it's not even 9 pm! I am very tired. I kinda figured it would be best to do this chapter first, as I think the next chapters will be longer. (:
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]  
> -I dunno. Nothing really new here.

The breakfast table was remarkably empty. Apathy sat between the creative twins, and the three remaining sins sat across from them, with the Dragon Witch at the head of the table and Emile and Remy on the other end. It was quiet. So, so quiet. Remus's face was puffy from crying, and he, Apathy, and Roman looked exhausted.

A storm of biblical proportions was rampaging outside, the sky dark. Rain slammed against the windows, the building seeming to groan under the pressure of the wind. It seemed much more than your average wind- hell, it might have been a hurricane. Thunder crashed outside, filling the room now and then with blinding light. 

"Ree," Roman murmured, reaching over and putting a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Please, take some deep breaths. You'll wreck your imaginary citizen's homes, they don't deserve that."

Emile seemed surprised by this comment. "You mean he's doing this?" the side asked, waving to the windows.

"Well, sort of. Not intentionally. When we're on our side's of the imagination, the weather is affected by our mood."

Remy whistled. "Dang, Remus. As Oz would say, 'who put salt in your Kool-aid?' " and then began to laugh. Envy sported him a polite smile, but nobody else seemed to find it funny.

The wind howled so loud Emile's attempt to de-escalate the situation was futile, as Remus made no effort to acknowledge them nor change what was going on outside.

Remus continued to stab at his plate with lazy malice, not really eating, his gaze fixed on his Waffles. A bolt of thunder shook the room. Apathy shrieked and covered his ears. The lightning was blinding as it struck the side of the dining hall, and all of the windows and their glasses burst at the energy.

Remus stood up suddenly, waving his hand in a jerky motion and the storm vanished, leaving a never-ending expanse of dark clouds, but not bothering to fix the windows. He ran out of the room, shoving his hands in the pockets of... one of Janus's favorite sweaters, and slamming the door behind him. 

Roman stood to follow, but Apathy was already up, running after him. The sides called his name, but he was gone, running after Remus. The halls were big and his legs were short, how was he supposed to find Remus? In a burst of inspiration, he sunk into Thomas's apartment.

"Thomas!" Apathy shouted, running through the place, looking for him. He found Thomas asleep still- which was fair, it was very early. Thomas yanked a pillow over his head.

"Thomas Sanders wake up!" Apathy yelled, taking the pillow and hitting him with it a few times until Thomas sat up, yawning.

"What? Are they back yet?" He said hopefully. Apathy shook his head, and Thomas visibly deflated. "Oh. Then what do you want, App? You've never shown up on your own before."

"Well I had wanted to play Mario Kart with you today; Emile said that might cheer you up and I've never played it before-" Thomas sighed heavily, and Apathy realized he was getting off-topic. "Sorry. Can you summon Remus for me? I don't know how else I can find him, and I'm worried he'll do something dumb and then I'll be stuck with Roman as my only parental figure and he'll try and be a cool dad which you do not want to see, let me tell you- one time he thought it would be fun to make Spaghetti with Syrup and sprinkles and things like in the movie Elf and it was terrible, I don't like sugar, but Remus makes really good Spaghetti and so it would be awful-" 

Thomas put a finger to Apathy's lips and shushed him, stopping the child's ramblings. "Please. You are giving me a migraine. I'll summon him, but you gotta let me go back to sleep for a few hours, okay?"

"I promise I promise," said Apathy, getting up and jumping on Thomas's bed until Thomas summoned Remus.

Apathy jumped off the bed into Remus's startled arms. "Fuck!" Remus screeched in surprise, and Apathy giggled. "Come on, can we go downstairs? I promised Thomas we'd let him sleep, but you and I need to talk."

Remus rolled his eyes, but there was a tired affection in his gaze. "Did you really wake Thomas up to summon me? App you sly dog-" he said, setting the child down and waving to Thomas as Apathy lead him from the room.

Remus put on The Addams Family Values and Apathy settled on his lap, the two of them cuddling close under a mountain of blankets. After watching for a few minutes, Remus started to cry. "It's not fair..." he choked out, rubbing his face on his sleeve.

"I know. It was kinda mean of dad to just leave-"

Remus shook his head, cutting Apathy off. "Mean? App, Janus is brave. Janus is so, so brave. He literally loves his family more than life it's self, you know. He would do anything for us. But we're not the only people he considers family."

Apathy nodded slowly. "Oh. You mean, like Virgil?" 

"Yeah, but not just Virgil. Pride, Lust... your dad feels bad that they ever had to be around Honesty. He thinks it's his fault that they suffered so much; that he failed to protect them. And so he thinks he has to go and save them. And he's a prick for doing so. My brother's supposed to play hero, not him. Janus is supposed to be here... with... with us."

Apathy hugged Remus tighter. "Well, aren't you proud of him? Or happy about what he's trying to do?"

Remus shrugged. "I should be! But what if he never comes back? What if I never get to see my husband again? Or any of my friends! He's just so selfish!" Sobbed the creative side. "And I shouldn't feel like this, you're right, I should be proud, and not... not hate him for leaving me."

Apathy tilted his head to the side in that adorable way he did when he was thinking. He attempted to fit the TV remote in his mouth before his eyes lit up with a thought. "Maybe you should stop focusing on how you think you should feel, and just feel your feelings."

"Did... did you just give me profound advice?" Remus asked. Apathy shrugged and went back to trying to fit the whole remote in his mouth.

"The way I see it..." he said around the remote, making his speech difficult to understand. "You have every right to be mad and upset at him, even if it feels morally wrong to be mad and upset because what he's doing is good. I mean, Patton's the expert on this stuff, but why should you feel bad about feeling bad? Janus made you sad. When he comes back, you can talk to him about it."

"But what if he never comes back?" Remus said, his heart hurting. "What if the potion doesn't work, or he gets hurt, or something happens-"

Apathy had no answer for this. He just shrugged. "I don't want to think about that. Nero is basically my best friend and probably the coolest adult here, no offense, and I... I kinda would prefer to repress that concept."

"Repression's bad for you, you know," Remus hummed, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah, I know. I saw Thomas's videos. Your song was really cool! How did you do that? Did you write it all out first, or did you come up with it as you went along? I wish I got to see it in person!" Apathy giggled.

Remus smiled, and Apathy knew he had said some things right. He really wasn't all that in the mood for Remus to explain it all, but it made his uncle happy and was a good distraction for the both of them. Which was certainly something they both needed.


	25. I Wouldn't Hesitate To Smile While You Suffocate And Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey howdy, you beautiful people! Not gonna lie, I am not liking this Honesty fella, he's starting to get on my nerves.
> 
> [chapter warnings]  
> -discussions of plan to rape, murder and torture  
> -Patton and Honesty doing some slightly sexy stuff (*pukes*)  
> -PTSD flashbacks

The other sides were talking now. They had begun to wander back toward some camp they had made- truthfully, Pride hadn't listened much. His thoughts were scattered and confusing as modern art, and whenever anyone spoke to him it was like a fuzzy radiofrequency. Everything hurt- somebody had given him pain killers, but he couldn't tell if they worked.

They arrived back at this camp- Oh! Nero was there! Pride had always like Nero- before they were banished, he would give Nero fashion advice! Apparently, none of that had stuck with him. Nero sure was pretty, wasn't he? Pride didn't realize he said this aloud. Lust blushed and laughted under his breath. Ohhh... there was something between them, wasn't there? Pride blinked his good eye rapidly. He used to be able to tell easily when people were proud of something- it was harder now, but it seemed Lust was proud to have Nero. Wasn't that sweet?

Janus and Nero were exchanging some heated conversation now. Nero was waving his arms around, gesturing wildly. Something about Oz. Who was Oz again? Oh right, Depression. He was nice.

Pride grew annoyed at how scattered his thoughts were. Why couldn't he pull himself together? Fuck, his ears were ringing. He needed a little space. Just to take a few steps away from the ruckus, to get some fresh air. He hadn't meant to run into Logan. Logan said something rude and shoved him away. Pride bit his lip. Why was Logan being like this? It wasn't very nice. 

His depth perception was off, wasn't it- yep, he realized as he ran into a tree. Definitely off. He didn't realize how far he had gone until he looked around and couldn't see the others. Well, that wasn't saying much, now that he was missing an eye. Ahh well. He tried to make his way back the way he came, but of course, nothing in this endless expanse of trees was easy to find or navigate.

Thunder. Thunder in the distance. Oh no oh no oh no. Pride didn't like thunder. Honesty had never punished him as much as the others- Pride had always tried to behave himself- but once or twice Honesty had made him stay outside when there were storms when he was still particularly young- storms never failed to make him uneasy. Rain began to fall. So much rain, so much rain...

Pride slipped in the mud, falling against a tree and slumped at the base. He slammed his hands over his ears as thunder grew nearer. Gods, he could picture it now. That oaken door to the big house as he knocked over and over, sobbing as Honesty sat in the window directly next to it, reading. "Honesty I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He screamed, the wet wind stinging his face. "Please, please forgive me, I'm s-sorry."

"Pride?" A voice asked near him, and Pride shuddered.

"I'm sorry, I know I was bad, please... I c-can't see, Honesty I'm sorry, I'm so scared, please, please don't leave me alone out here-"

Strong, familiar hands pulled him to his feet, and an arm slung around his torso to guide him along. "Well, I certainly never expected to see you again. I thought Deceit got you?"

"I'm sorry, I know you hate him, I didn't mean-"

"Oh hush," Honesty said gruffly. "You're lucky I found you, you know. The storm got bad quickly, don't go ruining me being nice by being a baby."

Pride fell silent instantly, working as hard as he could to suppress his sobs. They walked quietly for a while, the rain beating down. "Where are we going?"

"You think you have the right to know?" Honesty laughed sharply. "Patton told me about how you let Logic go. Personally, I don't think I'm sure he did enough."

Oh god. Not Patton. Anything but Patton. Why did he have to be so stupid and useless? Why did Honesty actually have to hear his triggered child abuse flashbacks? Fuck, he couldn't see, he couldn't make his way anywhere with his skewed depth perception and the storm- he was stuck. With Honesty.

______________________________________________________

Oz had been more than a little thankful when Honesty had left in the direction of the noise. Things had not been going well. Patton had summoned a sort of yurt-like structure after they had walked a while and it had begun to rain, and his two captors had tied him up in the corner and gone to change on the other side of the room into some fresh clothes Patton summoned.

Patton sat and watched as Honesty took off his shirt, a strange sort of smirk on his face. "Like what you see, Morality?" Honesty laughed. Oz summoned a knife and began to cut the bonds that tied his arms behind his back.

Morality hummed, standing up and running his hand over the side's large biceps. Honesty raised an eyebrow, his silver eyes sparkling with curiosity as Patton's hands trailed low. "I think it's one of the kindest things you can do to share the things you love."

Oz cleared his throat drawing the attention of the others. "Yeah, 'cause it's definitely not weird as shit to watch your two childhood friends-turned sociopathic murderers grope each other and exchange bedroom talk. Can I, you know, leave?"

Honesty rolled his eyes. "Say Patty, you love Oz, don't you?" his voice was flat but the words dramatized as if he was mocking Oz's stupidity.

"Yes as I matter of fact I do. Wanna share him with me?" Patton replied, his expression and demeanor as if he was merely offering a plate of cookies.

"Why Patton that's oh so generous! I'd love too," Honesty said, smirking.

Oz sighed heavily, as he cut through the rope, making the knife disappear and standing up. "I hate you both so flipping much."

"Oh no, he got free, whatever shall we do?" Honesty said, rolling his eyes again.

"Remember what Thomas's grandma used to say, Mattie? You keep rolling your eyes and they'll fall right out of your head?" Patton laughed, stepping toward Oz. "Oh! Speaking of eyes, I wonder of Pride's gotten the taste of his eyeball out of his mouth yet!"

Oz gagged. "That's morbidly disgusting. Okay, I'm just gonna skedaddle, you two can frick or whatever, and I hope you both die in a hole! Toodles!" Oz said, straightening Janus's cape and walking toward the door.

Oz heard the sound of a blade being drawn. He sighed. "See, in hand to hand combat I'm really no match to either of you, as you have the physical advantage. What you fail to realize is that I spent over two decades on my own in a monster-infested wasteland," he said, spinning around and summoning a handgun.

Honesty was the only one without a weapon and thus had stepped back. He whistled excitedly, clapping his hands. "Oh boy! If ya'll're gonna fight, do you think you could go do it naked in the rain? It'd be a lot more fun for me to watch."

"Don't think you're off the hook, you child molesting moldy muffin of a person, it would be therapeutic for everyone if I fricked up your face," Oz pointed the weapon at Honesty, summoning another for his other hand and aiming at Patton.

"Why do you keep saying frick instead of fuck? We're all adults here," Patton asked.

"Because it's fricking rude!" Oz hissed, and fired at Patton's feet, the bullet shaving off the excess toe of his shoes. Patton shrieked. 

"Damn! Okay okay, Oz, I think it's best we explain ourselves to you," Patton said, sticking the tip of the blade into the ground and putting his hands up. It did not escape Oz's notice, however, that the blade was now easily within Honesty's grasp. And with a blade that sharp and a side that strong, Oz had every confidence that Honesty could slice him in half if he so desired.

"Is there really anything to explain here? You're both sick and twisted and have committed a not so infinitesimal amount of atrocities against your fellow sides."

"Against the dark sides," corrected Honesty.

"The heck do you mean, 'the dark sides'? they're you're fellow sides." Patton and Honesty looked at each other and then back at him.

"We beg to differ. There are 13 dark sides, including yourself, and only five light sides, counting us. In a government, the party with the most voters will always win. How can we get anything done for what we think is good for Thomas as the smaller party?" Honesty interjected.

Oz blinked slowly, trying to comprehend how to respond to such an absurd statement. "You have got to be kidding me. That's what this is all about? First off, we're a team inside the mind of a 31-year-old Youtuber, not a government. Not all the dark sides nor all the light sides have the same opinions every time we help Thomas figure things out."

"Every single one of the dark sides voted to have Apathy live with Janus and Remus, as opposed to-" began Patton.

"What, as opposed to Roman? To you? Give me a break, you think you're better than us because you're light sides?" Oz laughed. "This is wack. This is the same reasoning Honesty had to why he killed me; I made his job more difficult. Well, guess what?! Life is difficult, and you don't get to murder people because you don't like how they do things! You don't get to rape people because they wouldn't have you otherwise! You don't get to abuse children who need guidance!"

Patton's confidence visibly faltered a little. Even Honesty was briefly at a loss for words. "But Janus would have us lie to everyone!" Honesty spat.

"I never said everything Janus does or wants was perfect, did I? I said that ya'll are supposed to be a team! It's not us vs. them, is us working together to make the best decision based on the situation for Thomas, and sometimes that means doing things you personally don't like!" Oz thought for a second. "And anyway, neither of you are particularly honest, are you? You're both absolutely terrible!"

Patton shook himself of his doubts. "Look Oz, we just want you, Pride, Logan, and Virgil to come back with us, and then we'll kill off the rest of the others besides Roman, Emile, and Apathy, and Thomas will be for the better! We've spent a lot of time figuring it out, and we know that the combination of us will bring Thomas to a new level of success!" 

Oz was about to respond when there was shouting in the distance. Somebody was calling for Honesty. "We need to get out of here now, they've found us!" Patton said hurriedly, but Honesty held up his hand.

"No... no that's one of my boys," Honesty said quietly. 

"Sheesh, of course, you'd recognize a person by their scream, you sick freak-"

"Shut up," Honesty said, grabbing the sword and walking to the door of the yurt, listening again. "That's... that's Pride, I believe. I'll be right back."

"Oh no you fricking won't!" Oz said, but as he was turning to shoot Honesty as he left the room, Patton had stepped forward, grabbing his arms and twisting the weapon in his left hand out. Oz wriggled away though, taking off into the rain. 

"Damn it!" Patton hissed. His glasses got wet to quickly, and he couldn't see which way Oz had gone. At least he could look forward to seeing Pride again. That would be fun.


	26. I Don't Know How To Be Just Standing By Blankly Not Getting Angry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, this one should be fun! Just to clarify- the long lines in between some paragraphs are time skips in this chapter. I hope you enjoy this one! I had a lot of fun writing it.
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]  
> -Honesty in general, tbh  
> -mentions of all the stuff that's already happened, but nothing new and awful in this chapter

Okay, Honesty had to admit he wasn't exactly proud of everything he'd done. But that was how life worked, right? He wasn't going to love everything he did ever. That was how things were. But that wasn't to say he didn't have regrets. There weren't many, but he did have them. He regretted his treatment of Virgil, for one. He certainly could've tried a little harder to make him feel loved. Honesty was the oldest side. He had watched them all grow and change, and he wished he had been more controlling earlier before they developed their own opinions. He couldn't go back now, that was for sure. But he sure did enjoy reminiscing about how this all came about.

Things were going somewhat his way now, and he was glad for it. Now it was just a matter of getting them to corporate. Emile would probably be easy.

It was plain to see that Dr. Emile Picani was terrified of Honesty. After Envy's attempt to kill him, Logan had somewhat bulled Picani into making an appointment with the side. Emile was sitting as far back in his seat as he could during their appointment. He refused to look Honesty in the eye. That was evidence enough. But oh, it was so much fun!

"So... H-honesty. It's been a long time."

"Yes, it has. I see you're sleeping with Sloth, how's that going for you?"

Emile blushed deeply. "That's really not appropriate-"

Honesty rolled his eyes, chuckling. "Oh, I'm just teasing old friend, don't get worked up about it." Honesty's gaze never wavered, like a predator sizing up his prey. 

Emile stared at his clipboard, sneaking glances everyone and a while. He didn't even write anything- Logan would likely be displeased by this. Awww, his hands were shaking slightly. Goodness, he must have really made his mark on the other side! "We are not friends, Honesty. You're a murderer, and I think it's highly probable you abused the younger sides in your care."

Honesty waved his handcuffed hands dismissively. "I may not have been the best, but come on. Dark sides are hard to deal with, you're well aware of this."

Emile bit his lip. "W-well I wouldn't say hard to deal with, they simply prioritize more selfish behavior for Thomas's betterment."

Honesty grew bored after this and didn't supply anything more than the occasional disturbing answers to his tests. Emile gave up after about four of these sessions. Probably a good thing, as they were kind of a waste of time.

He was quite pleased to see Prince Roman's behavior, however. He gave in to jealousy so easily and strongly, there was little to fear. And from what Patton told him, Logan was growing more and more upset with the dark sides. Things could be smooth sailing.

As for Patton himself, well, that was a good deal more interesting.

__________________________

"Hey cutie pie!" Patton had giggled as he bounced down the steps to Honesty's cell. He had only been there a little before with Janus and Logan when they caught him with Virgil. Virgil was gone now, preparing to get him out of his prison.

"Hey, Patty. So how did it all go down with the others? Sounded like some juicy stuff was going on this morning," He asked as he leaned against the bars of his cell. Patton's gossip sessions were always a pleasure.

"Well, you and Virgil made Janus cry. Remus was furious about it. Oh! So this morning, I was up early 'cause it's Christmas, right? And Lust came downstairs, a total hot mess, to leave a suicide note for us, ain't that sad? Anyway, I made him drink some cocoa, gave him my sweater, then he totally collapsed- I think he poisoned himself. Logan's pretty sure he's gonna live though."

"Wow, that is juicy news. I really appreciate you coming down here, Patton. You don't have to; it sure get's lonely without you."

Patton laughed, straightening his glasses. "Well yeah. You were my best friend for like, ever. I never felt super great about banishing you, but Janus thought it was best." He paused for a second, thinking. "You don't seem to be that lonely, though. Don't think I missed the fact you were screwing my kiddo."

"Virgil is a sweet but very angsty boy," Honesty said. It was so easy between them. It always had been. "I like him. To bad Deceit raised him."

Patton shrugged his shoulders. "He's always been quite rebellious, though. Why do you think he was so quick to fall for you? There's a new baby in the house now, he's got to be independent and he doesn't exactly thrive that way. It's interesting, though," Patton said with a hum.

"What's interesting?"

"For how much you despise the dark sides, you seem to have to problem sleeping with them," Patton grinned, summoning a chair and settling back in it. It had always been slightly jarring how lightly and peppily Patton would talk about things, regardless of their nature. Sure, he was an emotional person when people spoke ill against him, but he didn't really seem to care about others. 

"Oh come on, Patty. Never in all your time did you want a piece of one of them?" Honesty teased.

Patton's expression darkened a bit. "You know full well who I loved back in the day, Mattie." There was a silence that he awkwardly broke. "But it doesn't matter now! I'm with Logie!"

Honesty sighed, brushing his hair back with his hand boredly. There was no way in hell he was going to giggle about all the adorable things his friend would do with Logic. "Mhm. Patton, I know you hate the dark sides."

Patton scrunched up his nose. "I... I dunno about hate-"

"Can you name one thing you genuinely like about any of them? Forget that they're trying to help Thomas in their own twisted ways for a second, and tell me."

The moral side opened his mouth but hesitated. Then he closed it, biting his lip and looking away. "I mean... Janus... Janus is loyal to his family. I... I guess I admire that?"

Honesty clicked his tongue. "Damn, that's all you can think of? Come on, they don't exactly make your job easier. Look, Virgil's gonna get me out of here, and then we're heading over to house the sins and I lived in. Come pay a visit, I have some ideas as to how we can make things a hell of a lot better for Thomas."

Patton looked back at Honesty, his eyes wide in realization. "You want to kill them all, don't you. The dark sides?"

Honesty nodded slowly. "Well, all save Virgil. As I said, I like him too much. I think Apathy could be of some use, but as of yet, I haven't made my decision. I wouldn't be enthusiastic to kill a child." Honesty stretched with a long sigh. "To bad Pride isn't around. If I had thought of this sooner, perhaps I wouldn't have shot him. I think that bastard would be quite helpful."

Patton was very quiet, and Honesty could see that his mind was racing. Honesty reached through the bars, grabbed Patton's hands, and pulled him to his feet. "Oh Patty, you know I love you, right?"

"You do? I kinda thought you were mad about the whole banishment thing."

"Ahh, that was Janus's fault. You're my best friend, you know. I killed Oz for you- he was never going to lead to a healthy relationship. I just didn't want to see you sad."

Patton beamed. "R-really?"

Honesty grinned, nodding. "Yes, really. I just want what's best for you and what's best for Thomas. You've just gotta listen, okay?" Honesty leaned forward, placing a kiss on Patton's hand.

The moral side blushed. "Oh, okay. I'll help you."

And then the magic barrier that kept Honesty in his cell was lifted by Remus, and he quickly made his getaway.

____________________________

He didn't get another chance to really talk to Patton until they were in the subconscious.

"Your boy toy ran away, you can stop tying me to the tree, Pat." Patton purposefully gave the rope a tug before letting go, just to give Honesty a slight rope burn.

"I wish you hadn't interrupted, Maat, that was very rude," Patton scowled.

"What can I say, if I can't join you I'll cockblock you," Honesty laughed, hugging Patton. Patton rolled his eyes and hugged him back.

"I have the potion, you know. The one from the dragon witch? We could leave right now," Patton said, pulling it from his cardigan.

Honesty sighed. "I mean of course I would, but Pride, Oz, and Virgil are here, and I have no doubt that more people are going to come along after you. If we leave now, we can't get our guys."

"Fair," Patton grumbled. He still seemed annoyed about Honesty's interruption. "So what's the plan now? All of them still seem to trust me- oh! Remember how Janus pulled me out of the room after Lust ran off to die?"

"Lust's dead? Fun! And yeah, what was that about?" Honesty asked.

"Well, Jay took me into one of the side rooms-"

"Did you screw?" Honesty asked excitedly.

"What? No! He started crying about how he was such a failure to all the sins for letting you raise them. I swear I've never seen him even close to that upset! A big old breakdown, you'd've loved it. And he said, and I quote," Patton then proceeded to do his best (which was objectively terrible) impersonation of Janus. " 'Patton, I'm not going to dismiss the fact that you killed Oz. But I know that you would never hurt our family as Honesty did. If... if something bad happens to me, you'll step up, right? You'll protect Thomas and all of them if I can't?' "

There was a brief pause before the two of them burst out laughing. "That's pathetic, good gods. Janus really chose you?"

"Yep! I felt a little bad since I'll probably end up killing his husband and son, but it will be protecting Thomas, so I'm kinda doing what he wants," Patton said, wiping his tears from laughing so hard away.

Honesty smiled at the thought. "Oh he's gonna be so pissed when he sees you, this will be fantastic! Alright. So you need to tie me up since we're supposed to be enemies, and start trying to gather up our guys, okay? I'll see you around pretty soon."

So Patton had tied him up and wandered off. The moral side had apparently found Pride late in the evening and tortured him into helping him kidnap Logan, so as not to rouse the logical side's suspicions of him.

Things were going well.

_____________________________________________

"I lost Oz," Patton said glumly as he held open the door to the yurt so Honesty could drag Pride inside. 

Pride looked- well, let's just say drowned and bloated baby animals were less pathetic looking. Honesty made him sit down on the edge of a cot and stood back next to Patton. "Pride your uniform is a mess, I'm surprised with you."

"I'm s-s-sorry," whimpered Pride, staring at his feet. He couldn't even look up. If he did, he'd see Patton... he wasn't ready to see Patton- and he didn't think he'd ever be.

Honesty sighed a bit dramatically. "What am I going to do with you? You used to be my favorite, and now look at you. A traitorous very not hot mess."

Honesty could tell Pride didn't really want to be his favorite, but he was too tired, broken, and numb to say or do anything in response. Patton snapped his fingers, and Pride was changed into an off-white hoodie and pants, and then went to bed himself. It was really only the mid-day, but they had all been up all night, and it was starting to weigh on him.

Honesty continued to make little snide remarks as he used a towel to dry Pride's sopping wet hair, and then brushed it the way Pride liked it. He even took a thermometer from the medkit shoved in the corner and took Pride's temperature, which he tsked at. He wrapped the younger sin in a blanket and got into the cot next to him.

Pride whimpered. No no no not this, anything but this- not today, not from Honesty ever again-

Honesty chuckled, leaning over and kissing Pride's forehead. "I can practically hear you thinking. You should really stop; it's unbecoming. I'm not going to fuck you if that's what you're so afraid of. You're hypothermic and your body's not doing too well with all the blood loss from your eye; I may be 'an asshole' but I think you've learned your lesson about not listening to me."

Pride wasn't sure how quickly the other's fell asleep, but he knew there was no way he could leave without waking them up. His whole body hurt, and he didn't want to fall asleep next to Honesty. But he was so warm, and it reminded him of better times. Before the abuse, the murder...

Begrudgingly, Pride fell deeply asleep, enjoying the sound of the heavy rain outside, and hoping that the others would find them soon.


	27. Not So Comfortably Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apathy's breakdown part 2 (:
> 
> (tbh I have a headache and I am going to go to bed after this so let's be quick. No chapter warnings here as there's really nothing new and terrible here, but if you need me to add tags, as always, feel free to comment and let me know)

After spending a couple of hours with his uncle, Apathy could see Remus was in slightly spirits. Remus went to go help Gluttony make a late lunch and left Apathy with Roman.

Apathy did not want to be left with Roman. Okay, it's not that he hated Roman or anything, but he was so tired of being treated like a baby who needed to be watched every second. "So, what'cha wanna do, App?"

"I want to be left alone," the boy said, sprawling across a sofa.

Roman scrunched up his face at that, looking a little awkward. "Uhm, well Remus said I had to watch you-"

"Remus isn't the boss of you," Apathy spat, summoning a coloring book. He had grown rather good at using his powers, Janus had been teaching him, but now it felt weird to use them. He used a pink crayon to scribble over the lines. Roman visibly shuddered at his carelessness. Roman became aware that the room was getting very, very cold. How odd, the fire was raging in the fireplace, and it had been hot just a few moments ago.

"I know Remus isn't the boss of me, but he needs to go make lunch so he can't watch you. And anyway, I'm your father, I want to spend time with you."

"Do you really? Or is it just because you feel like you have to because you were such a jerk before, and now my dad might be gone forever and you pity me?" Apathy said, and on the last word, he tore the page off of the book and threw it on the floor with a huff.

Roman looked upset by this, but the fact that he couldn't quickly answer showed he wasn't sure if he could really deny it. "App, kiddo-"

"Do not call me kiddo. That's Patton's thing, and I don't like it."

"Apathy," Roman corrected, sitting on the sofa next to him. "I know you're upset. It's really bad, I get that! But I'm sure Janus and Nero and all the others will be back soon."

"Of course you'd want Nero to come back." Apathy muttered, crossing his arms and refusing to look at Roman.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I know you're still in love with Nero and you want to woo him back." 

Roman sputtered. "What? That's ridiculous, I don't still love Nero! Whatever your powers are trying to tell you, that's not it!" There was definitely something strange going on. He could see his breath in the room, but the fire was still fully lit.

Apathy stood, glaring at Roman. "I didn't use my powers to figure that out. I've seen the bloody flower petals in the trash."

There was a long silence. Roman sighed, putting his head in his hands. Apathy's eyes glowed slightly as he walked toward the doors. Roman stood up to follow. "You know what I think? I think it's a good thing you have those flowers. Maybe you'll stop pretending to feel bad and actually understand how you made my uncle feel when you did what you did to my dad."

Roman stood frozen, his mouth agape and his eyes a little damp. He couldn't find the words to say, the room's temperature had dropped considerably, and his heart ached. Apathy had never used his powers this strongly before. Roman sat back down on the couch, hugging his knees. Apathy stepped out of the room, and the temperature returned to normal instantly. But it did nothing to melt the figurative ice-pick that Apathy had driven into his heart.

Apathy ran to Nero's bedroom, jumped into the bed, and yanked the blankets up over his head to muffle his sobs from anyone nearby. He hadn't meant to be so rude to Roman, but he couldn't help it! What was wrong with him? 

He wasn't sure how long he cried for. The strong smell of allspice in Nero's sheets was familiar and slightly grounding, but eventually, it got very stuffy, and he pulled his head out of the blankets to breathe.

Emile was standing in the doorway, holding a plate with avocado toast on it and some water in the other hand. "Hey, buddy," he said softly, his smile kind but very, very tired looking. "You missed lunch. After all that crying, I thought you'd be hungry and thirsty."

Apathy nodded, rubbing his eyes furiously on his sleeve. Emile came over, sitting on the edge of the bed and summoning some tissues. "Here, let's use this so you won't get your clothes snotty," he coaxed, and Apathy quietly obliged. Apathy drank some water and nibbled on his toast as Emile dried his tears, humming softly as he did so. "There you go. Feeling any better?"

Apathy shrugged. "Is Roman okay?"

"Roman's fine, he's a very tough guy. What I do wanna know is why you got so upset with him, though."

"I... I don't know. I just feel like he doesn't have the right to tell me what to do. I really did try to forgive him for everything, and I do care about him... but this is all his fault. If I never see Nero or my dad again, it's because of him!" Apathy sobbed dryly, his tears spent.

Emile nodded. "Why is it Roman's fault?"

"If he hadn't messed with Remus and my dad's relationship, none of this would've happened!"

Emile straightened his glasses, thinking for a second. "Apathy, you know you'd never have existed without all this happening."

Apathy couldn't bear to look at Emile. He grabbed the blankets and ducked back under them. "Maybe it'd have been better that way," came his voice, almost too small to hear. "Then everybody wouldn't have had to die."

"Oh, Apathy, honey no!" Emile said, reaching down and scooping the boy out of the blankets and into a hug. "We are so, so glad to have you here. Listen, everyone will be back really soon, and then I'm sure everything will go back to normal. You just got to stay strong, okay?"

Emile went on and on for a while, but by this point, Apathy had stopped listening. What had he expected? Emile meant well, but come on! Just this blind, evidenceless optimism!? "Thank you, Dr. Picani," Apathy said through gritted teeth. "I'll keep that in mind."

Emile left, seeming satisfied. Apathy got up, looking at himself in the mirror. Emile had been right, he had gotten his sleeves snotty. Apathy rifled through Nero's drawers, finding a soft orange tee-shirt that clashed terribly with his pink pants, and tugged it on. It made him feel so much better.

Apathy wandered down the halls for a while. Eventually, he passed a door that he heard lots of noise behind. Carefully, he cracked it open. It was dark, save the bright minty green light that glowed from a giant cauldron. The dragon witch was talking to themself while reading a big old book and sprinkling ingredients in. They looked up when Apathy entered.

"What are you doing here, child?"

"Having a crisis. What are you doing?"

"Making a potion," said the Dragon Witch without looking up. Apathy tilted his head to the side, closing the door and walking further into the room. The DW didn't make him leave, and so Apathy stood and watched in silent awe for a long time.

"Will you teach me to do magic like you? To be a witch?" Apathy finally asked.

The Dragon witch laughed, shaking their head. "Why would I do that?"

"I'm Prince Roman's son, and you hate each other so it would make him mad," he said. That really wasn't his primary reason- he wanted to be able to impress the others, to make them see he wasn't a baby. And maybe... maybe get everyone back if something went wrong.

The Dragon witch thought for a moment. "I don't know if you sides can do my sort of magic, but there's no conceivable harm in trying." They waved their scaled and clawed hand, and Apathy ran to stand next to them as they began to explain the potion they were working on. The Disney inspired magic had so much potential, he learned, as it wasn't bound to the same rules as Thomas's world.

Apathy smiled enthusiastically, but there was no real joy behind it.


	28. Nothing Else Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey peeps- here's a shorter chapter because, while I could go on, my cat wants attention.
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]  
> -mentions of past abuse  
> -soft and sweet romantic fluff (what?! you ask, rubbing your eyes in awe. I know, so out of character of me.)

Oz was more than a little relieved when he saw the campsite again. He wasn't sure if Patton was still of his trail or not, but he was sure that he had been lost in the rain. the sides had put up a large tent, and the instant the Oz burst in he was overwhelmed with relief. "Holy frick, you guys," Oz panted, flopping down on the doormat.

"Where the hell is Honesty?" Logan's voice snapped first. He reached down, yanking Oz to his feet by the front of his shirt. 

Oz's head swam a little. "That's your first question? Not 'hey Ozzy, my dude, where've ya been?' to which I would respond 'aww, thanks for asking, I was kidnapped by Honesty and Patton and forced to hear their homoerotic bedroom talk and diabolical plans.' But noooo," he spat.

Logan let go of him, and he was immediately scooped up in a hug by Janus. "Oh thank gods you're back," Janus sighed. The deceitful side smiled, summoning a big fluffy towel for him and pulling his cape from Oz's shoulders. Oz snapped himself into dry clothes.

"Have you seen Pride?" Nero asked, from where he was playing cards with Virgil and Lust. "He wandered off, we haven't seen him, and we can't look in this bad of a storm."

Oz nodded, going to sit down by the others, but it did not escape his attention that Logan looked uncomfortable when Pride was mentioned. "We heard screaming and Honesty went to check it out; he said that it sounded like Pride, and that's when I got away from Patton."

"This is ridiculous!" Logan hissed. "He must be lying! Patton would never do that, he's just bitter about the fact that-"

"What, that he murdered me?" Oz said dryly. "Why do you refuse to believe me, despite all this evidence?! You're supposed to be logic!"

Logan bit his lip, fuming, and sat down in the opposite corner. Janus walked over, kneeling by Logan. "Lo, I understand why you don't want to believe it. We haven't talked to him and heard his side of the story yet, so there's that. But you have to be willing to understand all angles-"

"If it were Remus, would you believe it?" Logan said, his voice cracking. "Would you believe that he, he ripped out Pride's eye and forced it into his mouth? That he was working with Honesty? That he was a murderer?!"

Janus sighed, summoning a new pair of glasses for Logan, who still wasn't wearing any from before. He helped Logan to his feet and straightened his tie as Logan sobbed into his hands. "Logan, I know I wouldn't want to believe if it were Remus. But if it were true, then we're the ones who have to stop them, you know this."

Logan nodded shakily, and turned and apologized to Oz quietly, leaning against the door. "Patton and Honesty want to kill all the dark sides except Pride, Virgil and myself, though they haven't decided whether to kill Apathy yet or not. Obviously, they want to bring Logan back with them. I really don't know if this was Patton's idea or if Honesty tricked him into it, or maybe a little of both, but they think this is what's best for Thomas."

Virgil paled considerably. "Why do they want us three dark sides alive?"

Oz tugged at his scarf awkwardly. "Well, I'm going to imagine for two reasons. Being that we might be used to scare Thomas into listening to them, and that, well, Honesty and Patton, you know, like us." (Which was really the nicest way he could say it, but Virgil still looked sick.)

Lust sighed heavily, and it was clear he was glad not to be on the list of dark sides that Honesty and Patton wanted to keep around. "So we need to go get Pride from them."

Logan shook his head. "It's pouring rain and dangerous out there. If Pride is still in the vulnerable state that he was in before, it would be incredibly stupid to go before tomorrow, when it will hopefully not be dark and stormy."

"But they could be hurting him!" Lust shouted. "You know what happened last time! He's my friend, I can't just leave him with Honesty-"

"Oh shut up Lust, you all spent over a decade with him, I don't see how twelve or so hours could make such a difference," Logan said, rolling his eyes.

Lust stood quickly, his arms crossed tightly around his torso like he was trying to keep his intestines in. "Damn, you just refuse to get with it, don't you? Pride was with them for like, seven hours and Patton ripped his eye from his skull!"

"Oh please, you need to calm down. Pride was his favorite, right? I doubt Honesty will do that much-"

"Are you forgetting that he shot Pride in the chest?! Or what he did to the rest of us?"

Logan shook his head. "Of course not, Lust, I don't intend to belittle your experiences, I'm sure it was less than ideal."

"Less than ideal?! You know what, Logic?! I'm done with all this shit! You are so fucking lucky you've never been through half of what we've had to deal with!" Lust shouted, biting back his lip to keep from crying. "I never wanted to use it as some sort of competition, but you need to stop being such an asshole just because you found our your boyfriend isn't so great! Literally, every single person in this room has had a hell of a lot harder of a time in just the last year than you've had to deal with your entire life! So you do not get to tell me to 'calm down' when in this situation, I know better than you!"

Silence. The room was filled with silence. Logan stalked out, the mud thick but the rain starting to lighten slightly. Nero stood up, walking over and slowly put his hand on Lust's back, rubbing soft circles into it for a moment until Lust turned around. He was upset, clearly. "Hey," he said softly, cupping his hands around Lust's chin and tilting his face up. "You're not going to make him understand, Lust. I'm proud of you for telling him off, but there's nothing you can really do to change a person's mind."

"I know," Lust murmured. "I shouldn't have yelled at him. I'm probably only making it worse."

"You're allowed to have feelings, you know. I bet you're hella tired of people not listening to you," Nero said softly, and Lust nodded. Nero moved one of his hands to grab one of Lust's locking it in a pinkie-swear. "I promise I'll always listen to you."

Lust suddenly leaned forward and kissed him. Nero was clearly a bit startled, but after a half-second, he was kissing back. Lust smiled against Nero's lips, feeling wonderful. This was his first truly romantic kiss. Nothing forced or awkward, just purely kind.

Someone cleared their throat. "Hey guys, we're still here, you know," Oz laughed, and the two jumped apart. Janus was smiling, and Virgil looked uncomfortable. "So either get a room or, you know, tone it down a little?"

Nero grinned, running a hand through his hair. "I'm going to check on Logan, be back in a few."

Lust sat down quietly, a smirk on his face. He turned to Janus. "The rain sounds like it's not as bad as it was before. Can't we just go with Umbrellas?"

Janus nodded, yawning, and stretching out to watch Oz, Lust, and Virgil play cards. "Of course, let's just wait for Nero and Logan to get back first so we can tell them we're leaving, I doubt it'll be more than a few minutes."

It was more than a few minutes.


	29. Is This How You'll Remember Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]  
> -mentions of torture, rape, murder, etc.  
> -panic attacks

"Logic?" Nero called, but there was no answer. In the mud, there were footprints, however, and Nero reckoned that Logan had just gone for a short walk to clear his head, so he set out after him. He didn't have an umbrella, and he realized that Lust still had his jacket, so he took off into a jog to stay warm in the weather.

"Logan, where are you?" He began to shout, but his voice died off into a whisper when he realized where the tracks led. "Fuck, Logan no..." he thought, and Nero felt his chest tighten with anger. That piece of shit had gone to Honesty and Patton? Oh, of course, he did. Their plans benefit all the light sides, after all. Why wouldn't he be on board? 

Nero crept up to the slightly ajar window, where he could see and hear what went on inside. Honesty was sitting on one side of a wooden table, his hair a bit messy as though he had been asleep, and Patton leaned against the back of his chair. And there, of course, was Logan, sitting across from them. Pride was sitting on a cot in the corner, looking nervous but not any more harmed then he had been when he had wandered off.

"Well, Logic, I'm certainly glad you're here. I take it that Oz made you aware of your plans?" Honesty asked.

Logan nodded. Patton smiled, walking over to Logan with his arms outstretched. "And you're here! So you must agree with us-"

Logan put his hand up, and Patton looked confused, pausing from coming in for a hug. "I did hear your proposition. And while I do not like the dark sides particularly much, you don't seem to understand my reason for coming here."

"What do you mean?" Patton asked, biting his lip. Honesty looked disappointed, but not very surprised, and began spinning a rather large knife over his knuckles.

"I want to attempt to be diplomatic in our discussion, but frankly I have low expectations for either of you," Logan said.

"Logie-"

"Patton, I am not in the mood. I know what you've done, so don't even try it," Logan hissed, pushing up his glasses. "Regarding a matter so pressing, I find it rather foolish that you didn't come to me in the first place. You could've just asked me if you wanted my opinion."

"And your opinion is?" Honesty asked.

"The two of you are filled with misguided and foolish hatred, and your plan will likely destroy Thomas."

Nero sighed in relief. Fine, Logan was difficult, but at least he didn't want them dead. Patton clasped his hands together, trying to be nice, but he looked nervous. "Lo, the dark sides haven't exactly made Thomas's life easier. I mean, all that drama with Remus and Janus-"

"-which was started by Roman."

"Nero tried to get Janus to kill Remus," Honesty offered.

"Yeah, but don't act like that wasn't all Roman's idea in the first place."

Honesty shrugged. "Apathy running off got Pride killed."

Logan laughed in monotone, rolling his eyes. "Are you serious? Patton scared him into thinking he would be banished, Roman was verbally abusive and he ran off, and if I recall correctly it was you who killed Pride, try again."

Pride giggled in the corner slightly deliriously. He caught sight of Nero and waved- luckily, the others didn't notice or thought he was just messing around.

Patton thought for a second. "Uhm... Lust's suicide attempt-"

"Don't you dare," Logan said darkly, and Patton stopped. "Can't you see that you can't come up with one good reason why the dark sides deserve to die? Okay, so Remus keeps Thomas up some nights. So does Roman with his creative ideas, or me when I want him to read a book, or you when you want him to rewatch The Office bloopers, Patton! We're pretty similar."

Honesty sighed, throwing the knife across the room and into the wall about a foot from Pride, who shrieked and began to cry. "They're literally called the dark sides-"

"Honesty, Roman came up with that name to refer to the sides that typically represent more mature concepts or emotions Thomas wasn't ready to explore as a child. You were in banishment when he came up with that name, so you didn't even learn it until a few months ago. You just hate Janus, and by affiliation every side that was in his charge."

"Logan, come on-"

Logan stood, adjusting his tie. "Patton, do you hate Janus?"

Patton shrugged, smirking. "I mean, yeah, that's kind of why I'm helping Honesty."

"And you are aware that he is both married and has a child- not that it would lower the value of his life if he weren't, of course," Logan added. 

Honesty rolled his eyes, muttering some expletive. "Patton don't listen to him, he's going to try and appeal to your emotions."

"Can you imagine the emotional effect that the murder of loved ones would have on a young child?" Logan asked, and Patton bit his lip awkwardly, glancing at Honesty.

Honesty smiled. "Now Logic, I was told you were against having Apathy live with the dark sides, and that you thought the lights- specifically yourself, Patton, or Emile Picani would be better suited?"

"I did think that yes. But I think that you made it pretty damn clear that being a 'Light' side doesn't necessarily make you good at raising children."

Honesty shrugged. "Really? I thought I did a great job-"

Patton looked at his feet. "I mean..." he muttered, waving a hand in Pride's direction, who was still crying about the knife that had been thrown into the wall next to him.

"Point proven," Honesty nodded, standing up. "But as we've seen, the dark sides aren't exactly mentally stable enough for the jobs that are needed to be done to take care of Thomas!"

"Exactly how many people have you either raped or attempted to rape, between the two of you?" Logan asked, crossing his arms. Honesty hurried and slapped Patton's hands down when he began to count on his fingers. "And I'm not entirely aware of the situation between Roman and Nero, but I do know that he raped Janus. I think they're allowed to be a tad 'fucked up' after that."

Logan sighed, taking off and cleaning his glasses. "Look. Patton, I do love you, but I am disgusted with what you've done, and I'm aware you've made no effort to be faithful to me, and we certainly never disgusted otherwise, so I'm quite hurt. Everything you've done to Pride, to Oz... as Morality, I did expect better. And as for you, Honesty," he said, sliding his glasses back on. "Janus believes it's classless to curse people out. He may be right, but I have no problem doing so."

If you recall, Nero was not a fan of thunder and lightning. So when a bolt struck 50 feet from him he just about lost it. (For one, it was at the fear of the noise and brightness, but on the other hand, he was pissed that he hadn't been able to hear Logan insult Honesty, which probably would have been one of the funniest things in his entire existence.)

Nero didn't mean to scream, but he couldn't help it. There was a long moment of silence, and he hoped that the others hadn't heard him over the storm. Suddenly he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder.

Patton stood there, that pleasantly wicked smile on his face. "Heya kiddo! You know it's rude to eavesdrop." Nero slammed his shoulder into Patton and jumped back, away from the light side. He knew Patton had the advantage of still having his powers, but Nero had grown up with Remus, and years of dodging a morning star had made him quick. Patton rolled his eyes, and the dad-tone of his voice was sickening. "Now Nero, we have no use for you, just as in life. So either you just chillax and I'll tie you up where you can hang out with Pride, or I find out how much damage I can do."

Nero saw the flash of steal in the rain as Patton summoned a blade. Nero couldn't help it. He started laughing. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Honesty and Logan had come to stand in the doorway and watch, and Pride was watching through the window. "What's so funny?" Patton asked.

Nero put his hands on his hips in a very open, teasing 'oh just try and stab me' stance. He looked at Honesty, who watched with a brow raised. "You'll see."

Patton swung his blade at Nero, who easily sidestepped, and drove his elbow into Patton's neck, and used the force of the swing to take the sword, breaking Patton's fingers in the process. Patton tried to get the sword back, but slipped in the mud, falling to a knee. Nero grabbed Patton, bringing the sword up to his throat. "I was your ex-boyfriend's pick as the muscle for a reason, dumbass," he whispered into Patton's ear.

Honesty sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with exasperation. Logan looked proud, but not particularly happy about the situation in general, and thus he said nothing. "What now, Wrath? Are you going to slit his throat?"

"What? No," Nero said, shaking his head. "See, I'm trying to find healthier outlets for my rage, Picani said that I should avoid sharp objects altogether, so really I shouldn't even use this sword, but eh, what can ya do?"

"That's great! I don't care," Honesty said with some of the heaviest sarcasm Nero had ever heard. "What do you intend to do with Patton?"

"I'll give him back to you if you allow me, Logan, and Pride to leave with the potion that'll bring us home-"

"I believe it's 'Logan, Pride, and I', " Logan interjected, but Nero gave him a very tired look and he shut up.

"No can do. Logan and Pride will be leaving with us, as soon as we acquire Virgil and Oz."

Nero sighed heavily. "Honesty, I am really tired of your shit right now. I am cold, dirty, and I miss Apathy. I would very much like to go home. And I think it's probably impossible to appeal to your heart- I really doubt you have one- but I'm wondering if stibbity stabbing Patton in painful places will make you reconsider?"

Nero looked at Patton, his eyes glowing a bright, righteous orange. "Oh! You know the saying 'An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind?'" He brought the tip of the sword to Patton's eye, lightly tracing over Patton's eyelid.

Patton whimpered. "Mattie..." He whined, looking at Honesty apprehensively. "Maybe we should-"

Honesty shook his head. "He's not going to do it, Patton. Logic would never permit it." Logan was watching carefully, looking nervous.

Nero pressed the tip to Patton's eyelid, giving just enough pressure to make a bead of blood fall. "Uhh, I'm pretty sure he's gonna do it!"

"Your loss," Nero said, bringing his hand back to plunge the weapon into Patton's eye. But he was never able too. The weapon flew from his hands and buried itself in a tree.

Nero looked and saw one of Logan's hands raised. He looked embarrassed. "My sediment goes both ways, Nero. I can't allow you to kill Patton."

"I wasn't going to kill him! I just want to get Pride and all of us will go home!"

Honesty shrugged happily. "Told ya. Logan's a simp for Patty. Even if he doesn't want you dark sides dead, he sure as hell isn't going to let you hurt one of his own."

Logan dried the rain off his glasses, unable to look at Nero. "I wanted to be diplomatic."

"AND I DON'T WANT TO DIE, LOGIC!" Nero screamed as Patton jerked from his grasp, snapped his unbroken fingers and Nero was tied up. Patton walked behind him. Fuck, what was he doing? Oh god, he was going to kill him. Could they die here? What would happen?

Damn it, Logan! Why, after all his talk about not killing the dark sides, did he seem fine with it now? Was it because he thought he had to choose between Patton and Nero?

Nero began to panic, trying to turn around but he couldn't see Patton. Damn, he wished he wore his glasses, but he realized they've have been too wet to be of use anyway. "Please, Logan, don't let me die, man! Please, I... I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry you don't feel listened to. Patton, Logan, guys come on, we can fix this, please... I'm sure the others will understand, we- we can blame Honesty and nobody will be any wiser! Come on, please! I can't die! I'm not ready-"

Patton must have snapped his fingers, as he found his mouth taped shut. He saw Pride come over to Honesty, gripping his arm, speaking quickly. "Honesty, sir, please don't let Morality do this-" and the rest was lost in the sound of the rain.

Nero heard some noise behind him. In his panic, he couldn't quite tell what it was- a gun cocking? Is a blade being drawn? Something new and uniquely terrible? Fuck, he was never going to see Apathy again, or Lust, or anyone in his family-

There was a booming loud noise, and Nero screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, ya'll! Just a heads up, we are nearing the end of this fic- I'm thinking no more than 5 chapters left? But don't worry, then it'll feed right into the next one, so you won't have to wait too long. (:


	30. It Was You Who Made Me Whole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! Sorry this took a bit, I wanted to see the new episode first.
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]  
> -graphic descriptions of self-harm/mutilation  
> -Depression (obviously)

The Dragon Witch explained that time worked differently, according to their research, between the subconscious and the conscious parts of the mind. Sometimes, days matched, sometimes an hour in the subconscious was a week in the mindscape, and sometimes far less. They said not to be worried, at least not for too long.

But without the ones you love, time inches on like an animal crawling through blistering heat in an endless sea of sand. That's how it felt for the ones in the mindscape, anyway. One month. Two. Six. And then a year. Needless to say, things were eerily quiet. Eventually, they had left Remus's castle, reckoning there was no real use in staying with such a small assembly of sides left, and returned to their normal rooms. 

Roman's hanahaki was slow, painful, clinging to the idea that when Nero returned they might rekindle their old flame. But he was sick and weak and dull, and it was easy to see why he wasn't very effective of a creativity anymore. Remus, on the other hand, had stopped speaking altogether around month three, but it seemed the ideas he planted in Thomas's head were stronger than ever. Gorier, more colorful, more terrifying. But everything he did was with such passiveness that he didn't seem to mind that Apathy so extremely numbed Thomas to them that they had no effect. Emile had argued that this was unhealthy, that it was going to lead to Thomas becoming a serial killer.

This was added to the lengthy list entitled 'problems we'll solve when the others come home.' and pushed aside. 

"Hey, I need everyone here for video brainstorming," Thomas had said as he summoned them all dully, and they all came to sit around the couch with Thomas.

"Morning Thomas!" Envy said as peppily as he could, taking the seat to Thomas's left. "We'd love to help! Do you have any idea what you're in the mood for?"

Gluttony grinned. "We should do another awkward adventure and cook some more! We haven't seen Joan or Tayln or anybody in like, forever, and they miss you!"

Remus glanced in Roman's direction, having that little wordless conversation only twins can accomplish. Roman sighed, clearing his throat to voice his brother's idea, as had become the norm. "Remus would like to suggest we use... err... black market human products for said awkward adventure."

Apathy looked up from the large, dirty leatherbound book the dragon witch had lent him with a sigh. "Uncle Remus, you know Thomas can't do that or he'd go to jail, and you don't wanna be a cannibal, right Thomas? You can hardly cook normal food," he said flatly and returned to reading. Logan had been teaching him to read before, but his studies had fallen flat when Logan had left. Emile tried to take the practice back up, but quite frankly, it was useless. Apathy had no interest in learning typical things and devoted ten hours every single day to his studies with the dragon witch. Hence why he could read strange, magical languages and not his own.

Thomas shook his head, ignoring Apathy's jab. "No, I don't. I would like to do something with Joan and Talyn though, any ideas?"

Emile's eye lit up with an idea. "You should get them together to follow a Bob Ross episode! It should be pretty leisurely and low stress. As long as you think you're up to it, Roman."

All eyes fell on Roman. "I... uhm... I'll give it my best shot?" he stuttered, but the bags under his eyes and the quiet tone made it seem unlikely that he'd accomplish anything.

"Good, ' guess we're done then, so I'm off," Apathy said, closing his book with his fingers inside to keep from losing his place and standing up.

"Wait!" Thomas said, and Apathy's stared at him with glittering eyes.

"What?" He asked sharply, and the room dropped a few degrees. 

Thomas sighed, looking down. "Guys... I can't keep doing this. If the others aren't coming back, how am I supposed to live?"

"They are coming back." Apathy spat, shaking his head quickly as if to reassure himself. "They have too, dad promised-"

"Promised? Did he promise, Apathy? How could he promise he was coming back, hmm? Did any of them know if they were coming back? That fucking dragon Witch promised, and they hate us!" Roman shouted, his voice cracking as he began to cough.

"The Dragon Witch told us that it would take time, so don't blame this on them! I could just as easily say it's your fault we're in this mess, so just shut up!" Apathy hissed.

Emile sighed, taking Remy's Starbucks from his boyfriend's unwilling hands, downing it like a shot and slamming it down on the table, effectively silencing both of them. "I am just about fed up with the both of you! Thomas did not summon us here to watch the two of you fight, and yet every time he calls us, you go straight to each other's throats!" He sighed, composing himself. "So Roman, if you and your son want to bicker, do it in private, we are busy."

"Maybe we wouldn't bicker if he wasn't so blindly optimistic," Roman muttered.

Apathy's eyes glowed a soft pink. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm not jumping at the chance to acknowledge my dad and Nero are dead!" He ran a hand through his hair, looking at the other sides. They all looked uncomfortable or nervous. Remy and Remus were the only ones brave enough to meet his eyes, and Remus just looked tired. Remy shook his head slightly, shrugging.

Apathy bit his lip, casting his eyes down at his feet. " 'm sorry. I should go," and he was gone before anyone could protest.

_________________________

Apathy rose up in the Dragon Witch's lair, throwing the book at the wall. "Rough time?" They asked from where they were reading.

"You could say that," Apathy mumbled, sliding to the ground against the wall.

"I'm guessing you let your powers slip?" Asked the Dragon Witch.

Apathy rubbed his eyes. "I didn't mean too. It's just... when they don't listen to me... it's-"

"It's hard, sure. But you know you can't get anywhere if you can't control yourself. Now, let's put this behind us. I'm going to test your potion skills today-"

"You'll do nothing of the sort," said a voice from the doorway, and there stood Roman. "Apathy, we've entertained your little Wicca phase long enough. Come home, I'm going to make spaghetti and we can watch Frozen or something-"

Apathy stood quickly walking and picking up the book he had thrown. "I don't wanna fall into the cliche, but it's not a phase. Leave me alone, Roman, I'm busy."

Roman crossed his arms, biting back a cough. "Apathy, this coping mechanism isn't healthy-"

"Neither is drinking, but you do plenty of that," Apathy said flatly. "When are you going to get it? I don't want to be around you!"

Roman faltered, trying not to look at the Dragon Witch, who he knew was probably receiving too much information. "I'm your dad! Come on App, we've had fun before-"

"Princey, you need to back off," The dragon witch advised, noting how the room was steadily becoming cooler.

"We need to wake up and face it! We're all we have left!" Roman shouted, breaking off into a cough.

And with a little over a dozen years, Apathy broke Roman's heart. "I'd rather die than be stuck with you forever! This is all your fault!"

There was silence. Apathy's eyes were bright pink and ferocious, but even he seemed a little taken aback by the poison in his words. Roman's expression was unreadable. "Is that so?" he said, his tone off. Apathy didn't move. Roman turned around and walked out wordlessly. Every inch of Apathy wanted to go after and apologize, but he couldn't.

The Dragon Witch sighed. "Your words are harsh, child. Do you really think this is all his fault?"

Apathy nodded. The DW tsked. "You are so much like him it's astounding, yet your hate for him rages like a fire."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your words are much like those your father used before, aren't they? When Thomas had his play?"

Apathy didn't respond, his eyes still fixed on the doorway. There was a long moment of silence. "Perhaps you should go home for the evening, child. Your vibe is bad for magic right now anyways."

Apathy's expression hardened, and he turned sharply, running to the wall of bookshelves. He tugged two off and ran to the ingredients closet. "What are you doing? Apathy?"

"I can't wait any longer. I'm sorry, DW," he said and sunk out.

"Apathy? Come back!" They called, but Apathy did not return. "Fuck."

Apathy running off with a bunch of magic things to used unsupervised when he was upset? Yeah, this was not good.

______________________________

Remus was alone on the dark side of the mind palace. These days, they all stuck around the neutral territory or the light spaces or the imagination, never here. And it showed; the place was covered in dust and spider webs. He sighed. There was no point in cleaning it, really. He might have made an effort, back in the old days. Back before Virgil left, before Nero had gone bad, before Janus.... before Janus died.

Even the sins stayed away, favoring neutral territory to hang out. And so, these days, the only one who was ever around was Apathy. Apparently the quiet was good for studying. He wasn't here now, however, and the silence was heavy.

Remus wandered to the bathroom thoughtlessly as he had done hundreds of times this year and locked himself in. Not that anyone was going to bother coming to find him, but it was reassuring nonetheless. He stared into the eyes of his reflection in the dirty mirror with intensity, a sort of deep dark in his expression that was foreign. He looked like death had warmed over, his hangs hanging greasily down on his forehead. When was the last time he had eaten? Showered? He didn't know; or care really.

Remus slumped down on the cold tile, summoning a small knife. "Double-Dee, I'm about to do something bad, you've got to come around and stop me right now..." He whispered to the air, but just like every time before, there was no answer. There was always no answer.

He felt rage bubble in his chest, and with a few sloppy but strong movements he tore off the sleeve of his shirt and slammed the knife down into his flesh, crying out as it tore through the muscle. "Jay, you've got to come and help me, clean it up and give me a kiss!" He giggled in the back of his throat, so lifeless and dull that it sounded mad even for him. 

He slid the blade up to his forearm, cutting through his flesh like meat. He sobbed dryly, clamping his hands over his ears and screaming. "Fuck, Janus please! Yell at me, call me an idiot, I don't care, I just can't! I can't do this anymore!"

There was silence. Always silence. Remus screamed, standing up and slamming his fist into the mirror, which shattered in impact, leaving shards in his hand. He climbed into the empty bathtub with a shudder and yanked the shower curtain closed to seal him in, and just laid there, staring at the cracks in the ceiling.

How long was it? Hours? All he knew was that he was jolted from his thoughts by hiss pain. Remus jolted up, threw back the curtain, and part of him relished Roman's little yelp of surprise.

Roman was sitting on the floor in the other corner, using his fingers to pull a particularly sharp stem of his hanahaki from his throat. "Remus! What are you doing-" but he broke off before he could finish. Looks like he figured out the answer.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were here," Roman whispered, rubbing his cheeks quickly. "I just figured I was less likely to be disturbed in the Dark Side bathroom."

Remus shrugged and went back to staring at the ceiling. There was silence for a long time. Remus was aware of Roman's boots crunching on the broken mirror, and the light twin said something about leaving. Remus darted up, his head swimming slightly from blood loss, and grabbed Roman's arm, shaking his head wildly.

Roman's brow furrowed. "You want me to help you with that?" he asked, waving to Remus's wounds. Another shake of his head.

"You want me to stay?"

"...yeah. Can we... can we watch a movie or something?" Remus asked. Roman looked visibly surprised, as his brother hadn't really said anything to him in months, but nodded.

"Of course. First, you've got to let me clean that, okay? I don't want to get your blood on my shirt."

"You already got my blood on your shirt."

Roman looked down at his leave and sighed heavily. "yeah. I did, didn't I?" It wasn't really a question, but somehow it just wasn't awkward. Neither of them had shame enough to be awkward anymore.

Roman lifted his hand to snap, but stopped, biting his lip. "I can't... I can't summon a first aid kit. Would you?"

Remus rolled his eyes, ripping off his sash and tossing it at Roman. "There, take my sash, it should help some."

Roman's eyes widened as the clung to the green, blood-splattered fabric. "Really? But I thought-"

"It doesn't matter anymore, Ro-bro. He's dead anyway, so what's the point of punishing you?"

Roman seemed unsure of whether or not to be uncomfortable or happy. He tugged on the sash- an interesting look, Remus thought, the green against white. It made him look a bit washed out. Roman snapped his fingers, and there was a first aid kit. He smiled for the first time in months. Roman quickly cleaned and washed his brother's wounds, and snapped them into pajamas. Remus's onesie was Shrek themed, which seemed to lighten his brother's mood, and Roman gave himself an Iron man one. "Let's go watch a movie, hmm?"

"Can we stay here? On the dark side?" Remus whimpered.

Roman nodded, carefully taking his brother's hand and pulling him to the living room. he sat his brother down on the couch, gave him the remote, and went and made snacks in the grimy kitchen. It was good, he decided, to be able to distract himself. He didn't want to think about what Apathy had said; not at all. And yet his mind kept drifting to it. 

Apathy had seemed so scared, so angry, so... well, apathetic. Things were hard, that was clear; a child didn't deserve to have to deal with this. Acting out was warranted, but this... this stung. No, it was more than that; it shattered him.

Roman returned to Remus with a bag of popcorn, some fruit, and two large glasses of wine, the bottle tucked under his arm. Remus had chosen the movie Monster vs. Aliens, and it waited paused for him. "Oh, sorry I didn't tell you, I don't drink," Remus murmured. 

The light creativity patted his brother on the back. "More for me than! Now let's watch the movie."

And they did, for about 30 minutes before Remus broke down sobbing. "Hey, Ree, what's wrong?"

"C-can you... Uhm... can you hold me? Please? I'm so fucking touch starved." Roman laughed softly, opening his arms and allowing his twin to jump into his arms. It felt nice to be needed. He hugged his brother for the rest of the movie, holding him tighter whenever he began to cry again.

For a long time after the movie, they sat in silence, enjoying the silence and presence of each other. "I'm sorry, I'm probably keeping you from leaving, you can go if you want," Remus said hoarsely.

Roman fluffed his twin's hair affectionately. "Why would I want to go? You're literally my other half, I can't leave you alone."

Remus's eyes lit up. "Do you miss being him?"

"Pardon?"

"Do you miss being King Creativity like we used to be? We could be him again."

Roman bit his lip. "Remus, you've lost a lot of blood today, I bet you're pretty tired-"

"Answer the damn question, Princey! You know things can't go on as they are. Both of us are breaking! If we become the king, maybe we can do something good for Thomas!" Remus said, his tone weak but trying to be strong.

"And if Janus comes back? What are you going to do then, hmm?" Roman said, but he was already very persuaded.

"He's not coming back, Princey. It's been a year."

"The DW said that time works differently there! It may have only been a week or something for them!"

"Oh, so now you're optimistic? You sure have had a change of heart since you yelled at Apathy during the brainstorming session earlier."

Roman rolled his eyes. "Ree, I-"

"Do you want to do it or not?" Remus asked, his voice stern and lifeless. Roman was startled but slowly nodded.

What was the point of being broken, anyway? To the twins, it just seemed like nobody was coming to rescue them. It was for the best, right?


	31. But When I Leave The Light Side It's So Obvious That My Life's Pretty Plain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dang, this is longer than most of my chapters. I could've broken it up, but I think it's better this way. Anyway, there are a boatload of chapter warnings I could do here, so I will do my best (you can always comment and suggest more chapter warnings or tags, too)
> 
> [Chapter Warings]  
> -attempted rape/noncon  
> -A LOT of murder/ attempted murder  
> -some blood/gore  
> -mentions of past abuse  
> -Honesty in general  
> -etc, etc.

"Ahh, if it isn't my favourite whore! How's it going, Deceit?" Honesty called. Patton suddenly sprinted past Nero toward Honesty, Logan and Pride, and a wave of relief went through Nero. He whimpered in joy.

Nero heard somebody's steps in the mud behind him, and suddenly he was free. "Hey, hey, it's okay, you're okay," came Lust's voice as he wiped the side's cheeks clean of tears.

Lust and Virgil tugged him to his feet quickly, pulling him back to the little group of dark sides. "Are you okay?" Virgil asked. Nero nodded shakily, not trusting himself to speak. "Logan, you're a traitorous asshole, you know that?" Virgil shouted toward the others.

"Actually, he was just telling us why he doesn't agree with our plan, so you really shouldn't be so hard on him, love." Honesty grabbed a silver umbrella from inside and stepped out into the rain, motioning for Patton to join him.

Patton hurried after him, and they approached the group of dark sides. Virgil saw that Logan had gone to Pride's side, and seemed to by consoling him, but his words were lost in the rain. "Deceit, Deceit, Deceit. So terrible to see you again. I take it you're here with the intention of taking Pride?"

Janus nodded. "We want Pride and the potion. I am willing to make bargains to bring the two of you back with us, but-"

Patton and Honesty glanced at each other and burst out laughing. "You think you're coming back with us? Dee, honey, no fucking way," Honesty tsked.

"Janus, we have everything here we need, why would we bargain with you?" Patton asked, tilting his head to the side innocently.

"Well, I know you want Logan, Pride, Virgil and Oz to return with you, and that's absurd. We are clearly not getting anywhere with your demands." Janus spat, adjusting his hat.

Honesty leaned and whispered something in Patton's ear. Patton frowned, his face contorting to show child-like protest. "But Mattie, that wasn't the deal! I wanted-"

"I know what you wanted, but that's not going to work. Plans change, and they're the best option," Honesty hissed.

Virgil wanted to relax- it sounded like they were going to come to an agreement- but deep in his gut, he felt that something was horribly wrong. Janus didn't seem to buy it for a second, and Nero looked a bit suspicious, but he could see that the clear relaxation in Oz and Lust's body language.

Honesty smiled, extending a hand for Janus to shake. Patton stepped back. "Well then, a compromise it is then. You can have Pride, he's clearly out of sorts. Oz is to difficult, so I suppose you can have him. And Virgil..." Honesty's eyes lingered on the anxious side, and though Virgil couldn't bring himself to match the older side's gaze, he felt the burn of disappointment on his skin. "He's clearly to bewitched by your tendencies, Deceit. So Patton and I have made new arrangements."

Janus summoned a hatchet in his left hand behind his back, waiting carefully for Honesty's next words. Virgil held his breath. "And that is?"

Honesty's smile grew even more twisted than usual, his eyes tightly locked with Janus's. "As Logan is a light side, we mustn't leave without him. And if Patton gets one of his boy toys, I think I deserve one of mine, don't you think?"

A bolt of lightning struck in the trees about a soccer field away, and Janus couldn't help but let his eyes travel that direction, even for a half of a second. That was all the time, apparently, that was needed. Patton reached forward, shoving Nero away, and Honesty tugged Lust forward.

______________________________________

Lust screamed when Honesty grabbed him. I mean, it was pretty warranted, right? At first, he was able to wretch himself from the older side's grip, and for a brief second, he was relieved. But then Patton had grabbed him, and the two of them yanked Lust through the mud.

Janus brought the hatchet through the air in a flash, but he was afraid of hitting Lust, who was struggling so much, that he only barely grazed Patton's shoulder. "Guys!" Lust begged, ripping out of Patton's arms in panic. Honesty pulled him close, so the sin's back pressed against the older side's chest.

"Defense, Pat!" Honesty demanded, and Patton frantically waved his hand, quickly making the mud shoot up in a wave, blocking the dark side's path. Pride sat with his hands clamped over his ears in the doorway. Logan stood still, his eyes going back and forth between the darks and Honesty, Patton and Lust. He seemed to know what was going to happen, but there was more emotion in his expression than any of them had ever seen. He looked slightly panicked, clearly unsure what to do.

Patton ripped the potion bottle from within the pocket of his cardigan, taking a large drink and handing it off to Honesty. "Open your mouth, Narcissus." Honesty demanded, and when the sin didn't instantly comply, Patton punched him in the stomach. When he reflexively gasped, Honesty poured some of the contents into his mouth and clamped his hand over his mouth and nose. "Swallow."

Lust shook his head frantically. Sure he wanted to be alive again, but now with Honesty. Not like this. Honesty rolled his eyes, taking a swig of the bottle and passed it to Logan expectantly. "Come on kiddo, from what I hear you've swallowed for Mattie before, won't you be a good boy?" Patton giggled, waving a hand and sending another wall of mud cascading over the dark sides as they approached.

Honesty snickered, leaning down to whisper in Lust's ear. "If you refuse, I will make sure that when I get home, I will torture the other sins before killing them. Would you like that? Like me to cut off Envy's fingers, one knuckle at a time? Want me to skin Gluttony, or set Greed on fire-" his eyes were filled with mania, a thrill Lust had seen on Honesty's face many times before. If Lust didn't agree, he would keep his word- and now that he had vocalized the thought, he might do it anyway.

Lust's eyes locked with Nero, whose pupils were blown with panic. He was almost there, he would want to try and save him... but Lust was getting light-headed from lack of air, and realized that he was going to have to do it. If it was him or his family... he didn't have a choice.

He swallowed, and instantly his muscles began to quiver. Honesty seemed satisfied and removed his hand from over Lust's mouth. Lust's eyes focused on Patton. The moral side's skin was shimmering a pale blue, slowly becoming less solid. Patton was yelling at Logan to take the potion, but he just stared at the bottle. Honesty was shimmering silver, and a light purple haze was filling Lust's vision. Patton ripped the bottle from Logan's hands, yelling something about him being a waste, and suddenly disappeared.

Lust saw Nero reach him, trying to pull him from Honesty's grasp, but his hands seemed to phase through. It was no use. The last thing Lust saw was Nero's terrified expression, the sound of Honesty's high pitch laugh rattling his brain, and then black before he suddenly found himself on the cold, hard, stone floor of Remus's castle.

He lay there for a moment, allowing the insane ringing in his ears to die down before getting up. Patton was sitting there, massaging his temples, and Honesty was covering his eyes with his arm to block out the light. 

Home. He was home. Lust forced himself to take a deep breath, despite his pounding migraine and ran to the wall, thanking Remus for his wicked decor. He yanked a sword off that was mounted to the wall, spinning back around and attempting to drive it into Honesty's chest with a scream.

"Holy fuck, Patton!" Honesty screeched, and Patton waved his hand, sending the sword flying from Lust's hands just as it reached Honesty's chest, leaving only a shallow wound. Lust turned and ran as soon as he found himself unsuccessful. Patton grabbed the sword and swung, Lust barely jumping back. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't fast enough, and the blade buried itself in his leg, stopping just short of the bone.

Lust screamed, tripping and falling to the floor. Honesty walked over, kneeling down and straddling him. Honesty brushed away some of the hair that was stuck to Lust's forehead via sweat, and leaned down and kissed him.

Lust focused all his energy on not spacing out. It had become a habitual coping mechanism, but he... he couldn't do it anymore. Hell, he knew he couldn't win, but there was no way that Lust was going to allow Honesty to do anything to him ever again. Honesty's kiss was as forcefully hard and unpleasant as ever, and when he pulled back, he was smiling. "Narcissus, it's been so long since we've gotten to be together properly. The floor of the duke's castle wasn't what I had in mind, but..." He trailed off with a shrug. Patton looked away awkwardly.

"Morality, how can you let this happen? I know you care about us. You invited us to stay in the mindscape again! I know Virgil's like a son to you! Would you do this to your son-figure?" Lust demanded. Honesty giggled, beginning to take off his shirt, still ranting on what Lust imagined was some string of insults, but he desperately tried to block them out.

Patton wouldn't even look at him to answer. "I mean, of course not! We wanted to bring Virgil back, that-"

Lust bit his lip, trying to keep from sounding to pathetic as he struggled under Honesty's weight. "Oh, so it's okay for my father figure to do this? You're willing to sit by and watch? No, you won't even watch it! You know it's wrong, but you've never been able to stand up to Honesty. You're a coward!"

Patton adjusted his glasses nervously. "I'm not-"

"You are," Lust sobbed as Honesty's hands began to wander lower. "You didn't want Logan or Oz to stay behind! And now look! Just because this piece of shit said so, y-you, you leave the people you love to rot!?"

Honesty clamped a hand over Lust's mouth, chuckling nervously and stopping his undressing. "That's quite enough out of you, Narcissus. You've always been a sore loser, you really 'ought to just shut up."Honesty's eyes lit up with an idea. "Oh! Patty, you can sew, right? Why don't we sew his mouth shut? It'd be so much fun!"

Patton stood still for a moment before shaking his head. "I... I'm not going to sew his mouth shut, Honesty. You can do as you wish, but I refuse."

Honesty frowned. "You were so ready to pull out Pride's eye though, don't tell me you're having issues with the whole 'torture' thing now."

Patton set the sword down with a sigh, shaking his head and wandering to the other side of the room as if the mouldy stone wall was intriguing. Honesty rolled his eyes. Lust glanced at the sword and then back at Honesty, who had by now removed his hand from over the sin's mouth. Fuck, he hated sucking up to people.

"Sir?"

Honesty raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Can I... can I make a request?" to be frank, Lust didn't really think it was going to be believable. But then again, the side was a proud person.

Honesty laughed, leaning down and kissing Lust again. "See, I knew you liked it, you whore. Of course, you do, you are Lust after all. What is it that you want?"

Lust swallowed his distaste. Honesty would know the second he lied to him, so he had to make it genuine. "I'd like to be on my knees, please. My leg hurts where Patton cut it, and I don't think it will be as fun if I pass out from blood loss at the angle I'm at."

Honesty shrugged, flipping him over, a smile still on his cheeks. Lust dove for the sword, bringing the blunter side into Honesty's face. When he fell back, Lust jumped up and ran, clutching the sword. Honesty cursed something about him 'not being quite so stupid as he used to be' and pushed himself up, him and Patton taking off after Lust. "This is so unfair!" Patton whined as they raced down the hall. "I didn't get Oz or Logie, and now we're chasing after Lust! He's no fun anyway, I don't see why-"

Honesty laughed, shaking his head. "Patty Patty Patty, don't you see? All the fun is in the chase! It's not like he can really go anywhere, can he?"

Patton bit his lip. "If he gets to Remus's room, there's a portal that will take him directly to the dark side's common room, and from there he can probably go to the others."

"Where's Remus's room?" Honesty demanded.

"It's up two stories, I think. The door should be marked."

Honesty spun on his heel and turned in the opposite direction, heading back to the dining room, where a closer set of stairs had been. "You keep following him! I reckon he's panicking, so we should be able to cut him off."

____________________________________________

Honesty raced up one floor before he heard the sound of movement. was it possible that Lust had gotten lost? Was it another side altogether? he burst into the kitchen where he heard the noise and saw Apathy, who was standing over a large pot and trying to put a live newt into a glimmering orange potion. Apathy's eyes snapped up.

"Did Lust come this way?"

"Is my dad back?"

Honesty rolled his eyes. "No, just Patton, Lust and I. Have you seen Lust?"

Apathy sighed and then smirked, looking back at a book pe had propped up. "Do You really think I'd tell you? Dad was right, you are as dumb as you look."

Honesty's face twitched with anger. "You little brat! You know, I was debating killing you, but for that, I think I've made up my mind." Honesty said, drawing a Meat Cleaver from the cutting board. Patton could handle Lust for now, right?

Apathy huffed, finally getting the newt into the pot and reaching for a jar and throwing some leaves in to the potion. "Oh, have you?"

Honesty was slightly disturbed by the fact that Apathy seemed so incredibly unafraid of him. Of course, it was also incredibly annoying, but soon enough he would be able to push it from his mind. He moved toward Apathy.

Apathy waved a hand, and Honesty was thrown back against the stone wall with a sickening crack. He snapped his fingers, and all of the knives in the castle's kitchens came to life, zooming forward and burying themselves in the wall, pinning Honesty by his clothes.

Honesty's eyes widened with pain and surprise. A rib or two was cracked from the force of him flying at the wall, but he was simply startled by Apathy. The child smiled at him, but there was nothing behind the eyes.

Honesty realized with horror that he recognized that look. It was the same look reflected back at him in the eyes of people he had killed, that twisted, blank joy, a power-hungry, dead inside excitement. Apathy looked almost excited. And that... that was terrifying.

Apathy picked something up off the table and walked over to him. He murmured something under his breath, and jumped up, shoving this weird little thing into Honesty's mouth "The fu-" Honesty began, but it quickly seemed that his moth was full of sand. When he tried to spit it out, it just refilled and began to spill back into his throat, so he kept his mouth shut.

"Do you like it? I made that spell myself!" Apathy giggled as if it were a simple drawing that a child was showing off to an uncaring adult. "After what you've done, I think it'd be best if you just hung out there for a bit, at least until my dad gets back. And he is coming back. See!?" Apathy gestured to the pot. It was frothing strangely and seemed a lot more unstable than anything Honesty had ever seen the Dragon Witch make. "The Dragon Witch couldn't make the spell again. It's kind of a 'one time per person' sort of magic, which is pretty annoying. But I figured it out! I bet Roman will be so impressed; he thought this was stupid originally, so it'll be great to see the look on his face!"

Apathy ran and grabbed a plastic Monsters Inc. themed cup from the cabinet and dipped it in the pot. "I'll be back real quick! Don't do anything bad like usual," He said, drank the contents of the cup, went into a coughing fit, and was gone in a flash of pink light.

The sand spell must have been linked to Apathy, Honesty reckoned, for it stopped as soon as the child was gone, and the knives fell out of the wall, dropping him.

_________________________________

Lust limped/ran down the halls, his heart racing. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, this was bad. This was so very, very bad. He knew he wasn't faster than the other two, or really even stronger (and he doubted himself smarter) but he had to try and make it to the neutral territory. He had too. He didn't know what he would do if he didn't make it.

He wished he knew the way. It was somewhere upstairs, right? Lust was going to have to check every room, and he didn't have time. So he raced down the halls, his gaze flying over each door frantically. He heard footsteps were getting closer. Oh no oh no oh no. He worked hard at blocking out Patton's shouts for him to stop just as he had with Honesty but repressing his panic was more than a little draining. Of course, they didn't want him making it to the others. It would be easier if they didn't know they were home yet.

Lust sobbed with relief when he found Remus's room. He practically fell into the door, running through and bursting into the dim of the Darkside commons.

Blood trailed behind him, and as he burst into the neutral territory of the mindscape, sweaty, wild-eyed and carrying a large sword- well, under different circumstances it probably would've looked cool.

Remy was sitting on the sofa, watching RuPaul's Drag Race with Envy and Gluttony, the latter looking like he would rather do anything else. Overall, they seemed to be having a splendid time.

The smiles melted from their faces as they spotted Lust, who collapsed against the wall. "Woah, babes!" Remy yelped, rushing over to keep Lust from falling. "What's going on? Are you okay? Are the others-"

"Honesty. Patton. Bad Guys. Wanna kill all the dark sides. They're coming." Lust panted, finally allowing himself to cry. He knew Honesty and Patton were coming. He couldn't relax yet, even as the other sins tried to take the sword away from him, or bandage his wounds. His heart was beating irregularly, and he was seeing spots in his vision. Fuck. He was going to die, wasn't he? No, that had to be just his inner paranoia talking.

Emile and Greed showed up, but there was no sign of the creative twins nor Apathy. They were asking so many questions at once, and he didn't even bother to answer. Suddenly, the room fell silent.

In the doorway stood Patton and leaning lazily on the moral side's shoulder, Honesty. Gluttony gasped quietly. There had never been such anger in his expression, not in all their years together.

Lust clutched his sword tighter, attempting to blink the spots away, to no avail. This was, as you might imagine, bad.


	32. It's Been A Long Day Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yo! Sorry this took a little longer, I am just really swamped with work as we're nearing the end of the quarter. I hope you guys enjoy this! It's a little more emotional (the next ones will be too) so prepare yourselves! Not really any chapter warnings here? Idk. It's all just the same stuff we're used too.

"No... no no no NO!" Nero screamed, grabbing his hair and tugging far too hard. He began pacing, finding his legs shaky. "Oh fuck, oh fuck," he whispered loudly to himself. Janus raced over, grabbing his arms and catching him.

"Wrath, take a deep breath," he coaxed, and while it was comforting to hear his title, it wasn't all that reassuring to see that Janus was panicked as well.

"I can't... Janus they're going to hurt 'em. They're going to kill everyone, and they got Lust, you know what Honesty wants to do to him!" Nero shouted, pulling from Janus's grasp. He slumped down in the mud, not caring that it soaked and made him dirty. "Oh gods, he's going to fucking kill Apathy... is it worse if he doesn't? If he doesn't, we're never... we're never going to see him again. I didn't... I d-didn't even give a proper goodbye!"

Janus didn't seem to have anything to say about this. He rubbed his eyes slowly, massaging his temples, and finally offered Nero a hand up. "It's no good to be out here, Nero. You'll get sick."

"Does it matter?"

Janus shrugged. "I guess not. Come inside when you're ready." And he slowly walked off. The others had gone inside the yurt, and Virgil had snapped them all into dry clothes.

Pride was following Logan like a stray puppy, and when Logan finally sat down on the floor against the wall, Pride cuddled up against him. Logan didn't seem particularly bothered by it; it was clear there were other things on his mind.

Virgil sat down about 2 yards from Logan, fiddling with the strings of his old hoodie. "So... what the fuck was that?"

Logan shrugged, taking off his glasses. "I thought... I thought I could reason with Patton. That we could go home... and when they were unwilling to compromise..." Logan shrugged, seeming embarrassed. "I didn't know what to do. If morality condones the consistent murder and abuse of the dark sides, and he truly believes it's for the best of the lights... I don't want to be a Light side any longer."

He finally looked up, glancing between Janus and Deceit and Nero, who had just stumbled in, soaking wet. "I apologise for my callous comments previously. I want to have an answer for everything, but when it comes to all of your feelings... I shouldn't make assumptions regarding experiences and trials I've never faced."

Pride turned his head to see Logan, and he frowned, reaching up and wiping a tear that was slowly making its way down the side's cheek. "Logic, you're a good guy. Good person, good side, good for Thomas, good at math... emotions don't have'ta be your forte, what you're trying to do is enough."

They all turned to look at him, startled. This was the most coherent thing he'd said all day, and there was a delicate look in his eye. "I feel... empty. My head, my heart, my stomach- I'm sleepy," he settled on with a soft nod, moving away from Logan.

"Pride, I'm sorry I was rude earlier. Would you prefer to lay your head on my lap or shoulder as you were doing? Such traumatic experiences as you've been through probably require comfort; and frankly, I'm worried about your eye being infected." Pride smiled, nodding and listening.

From the door, Nero huffed. "While that is adorable, we have more pressing matters at hand! Honesty and Pride got home, and we don't have any way back!"

"Yeah, we don't. What do you want to do about it?" Janus said in a monotone, taking off his hat and tossing it on the floor next to him, summoning a cot for himself and flopping into it like a sack of potatoes.

Nero opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't. He just sat down quietly and hugged his knees. "I'm sorry. I couldn't get to him fast enough, I... I shouldn't yell at ya'll."

Virgil looked at the others. Logan was busy with Pride, and it seemed Janus h of tad gone to sleep. He sighed heavily, standing up and walking over to Nero, snapping his clothes clean and summoning a mug of tea for the both of them. "So..." he muttered awkwardly.

"You don't have to do this, Anxiety. We're not exactly friends; you don't have to-"

"Sure I don't have too, but I need too."

Virgil picked at his sleeves nervously. "I never really got a chance to ask him, but... what's up between you and Lust? He really won't even look at me, and I thought he had hanahaki-"

"I can't speak for him," Nero interrupted. "I know that I'll probably mess it up, but here's what he said to me at least. He basically explained that while he does care about you, he's realized that you're not interested in him. So I think he's come to terms with the fact that pinning isn't healthy, and he wants to have a chance at a platonic relationship with you."

"He still wants to be my friend? After everything, I've done? Why?"

Nero shrugged, looking a little awkward. "We all... like you, Virgil. There's a difference between people like you and those like Honesty and a whole 'nother difference between that and people like Roman. Roman made horrible mistakes, and while he may not regret them morally, he realized it was hurting us and Thomas, and is actively trying to fix it by being a better person. Honesty doesn't regret his actions nor does he want to change; he genuinely enjoys inflicting pain and has no desire to stop. And then there's you."

"Me," Virgil stated, waiting for Nero to pick him apart.

Nero wrapped his arm around Virgil in a very fiddly way, like dude-bros afraid of being perceived as gay (Though come on, their sexuality was really no question at this point). "You don't deserve to be punished for being manipulated any more than the sins deserved to be banished with Honesty for wanting Thomas to know them. Maybe we all need to work on better communication skills to keep, you know, shit like this from happening."

Virgil laughed softly. "Thank you. It... it means a lot, coming from you."

"Why from me?" Nero asked, taking a long drink of his tea.

"I don't know... you seem to have the strongest opinions on justice? Right and wrong? As Wrath, you kind of have got to know where to direct those feelings, and you do so in a very black and white manner."

Nero's eyes flickered orange, but he smiled teasingly, nudging Virgil affectionately with his elbow. "What the hell do you mean I'm opinionated, Virgil? I'm the least opinionated, how dare you." The two of them laughed loud enough Janus threw a pillow at them with a hiss.

There was a long silence between them. "And about you and Lust?"

Nero blushed, looking down at his tea. "Uhm... well we've both had pretty abusive relationships in the past... I sort of realized that I was in love with him... Fuck man, I'm not good at this feelings crap."

Virgil shrugged. "Well, good luck, I guess. The two of you are a good fit, I think."

Nero's face fell, his eyes going orange for real this time. His grip tightened enough on the mug that a crack became visible. "I'm never going to see him again. Honesty's got him now."

"We don't know about forever-"

"Any amount of time where Lust has to be anywhere near that slimy, disgusting excuse for a side is to damn long. He... he doesn't deserve that!" Nero growled, taking a drink of tea so it wouldn't leak from the crack he had made.

Virgil bit his lip. "Is it possible that you're underestimating him?"

"The fuck do you mean?"

Virgil put his hands up in surrender. "Just a thought... while it's super sweet that you care about him... maybe he's not as much of a damsel in distress as you believe?"

Nero bit his lip. He wanted to have faith in Lust, but it was just... hard. He wanted to protect him, not imagine him in harm's way. He just shrugged at Virgil, and they were lost to silence once again.

__________________________________________________________

Oz couldn't say he was all that put out by the fact that they were stuck there. He had lived here for decades, after all, and solitude was his nature. Interacting with people was draining. They were all just so... problematic.

Oz sighed, picking at his nails as the others debated. The rain had slowed a little, so he pushed himself to his feet and summoned a coat. He was tired, sure, but he often found that walks were good for clearing his head.

And so he began to walk. He didn't tell anyone he was leaving, but nobody seemed to care anyway. Funny how that is. Sure it made sense that they were all so preoccupied with the situation, and Oz knew he wasn't the most likeable, but it stung a little that nobody seemed to care. Nay, that Honesty and Patton seemed to be the only ones that wanted him. And even they had given up, hadn't they? Honesty had settled on that young guy, Lust, and Patton had wanted logic.

His feet squished in the mud as he walked, but the noise was lost in the rain. He saw a few animals, a few monsters, but nothing incredible. He thought for a long while. That poor boy- Lust was one of Honesty's little sins, wasn't he? He was that boy Honesty had raped and the others hadn't believed. It was really awful, wasn't it? Oz had to wonder if Patton would have treated him like that, had he gotten the chance.

But there was no point now, was there? Of even thinking about that? With nobody to talk to, Oz had spent his whole life with just his thoughts. And it seemed he was alone once again.

Or so he thought.

There was a loud bang behind him, like the jarring noise of a dumpster lid being slammed shut. He nearly jumped out of his skin and spun around.

Apathy stood there- a sort of distorted, ashy version as if he was on a TV channel they didn't have a good connection too. 

"The heck are you-"

"Where are they!?" demanded Apathy, his voice far off despite that he was only standing a couple of feet away. The child jerked his head around, looking. "Where are the others? Are they hurt? Dea-"

"Woah, kid, chill! Everyone's fine! I'll take you back to them, okay?" Oz said, not bothering to ask questions. This was Deceit's little boy, hence not his problem. He was too tired for this.

Apathy nodded firmly and ran behind Oz all the way back, bursting in with a loud thud.

Apathy froze in place, his lip quivering. Janus jerked his head up at the noise of them coming in, his eyes widening as he scrambled off his cot.

Apathy began to cry, emotion washing over his face like a title wave. "D-dad?"

Janus ran forward, scooping the boy up in a tight hug. "Hey! It's okay, App, we're all okay! I'm fine, you don't need to cry-"

Apathy shook his head, burying his face into Janus's shoulder and crying. The other sides were all fully roused now from where they had been sleeping or falling asleep.

Nero's heart stopped. Apathy was here. Apathy was here!? Was he dead? He didn't look dead. had Honesty already killed him somehow? Fuck, he looked older... oh gods, how much time had passed for him? Nero felt his heartbeat go from 0-60, so to speak, and Virgil grabbed his arm and dug his nails in.

Nero hissed. Virgil gave him a look. "Wrath, we all know you love him. Go give him a hug."

"But Logan said-"

"Logan doesn't know shit about you," Virgil said, pushing Nero forward. "Go on!"

Nero approached awkwardly. He cleared his throat, and Apathy sniffled, looking at him for a second before instantly making grabby hands, trying to wriggle away from Janus to get to Nero. Janus chuckled, setting Apathy down, and Nero knelt quickly to meet Apathy's height. 

Apathy practically dove into Nero's arms, knocking him off balance and onto the floor, causing the other sides to laugh. Apathy hugged him tightly, crying. Nero pets his hair as he hugged him back, smiling a little. "Looks like I was gone for a while, wasn't I?"

Apathy nodded, rubbing his eyes. "Why didn't you say goodbye?"

Nero bit his lip, brushing Apathy's hair out of his eyes. "I didn't think I was gonna be gone so long, sport. But you can handle things without me! You're my tough little guy, I'm sure Emile was more than a good replacement."

Apathy looked at him, tilting his head to the side. "Why do you say Dr. Picani?"

Nero scratched the back of his neck, looking at the ground. "You need better grownups taking care of you than me, App. Picani's a therapist, Patton's a dad, Logan's a teacher- they're all better suited-"

Apathy shook his head. "Them? That's stupid, I don't want them, I want you!" he leaned in close, whispering into Nero's ear, "You're the coolest side out of everybody, anyway."

Nero's heart swelled with joy as he hugged Apathy tighter, and he had to force himself not to cry. Virgil cleared his throat. "So Apathy... you don't seem very dead?"

Apathy stood up, refusing to let go of Nero's hand, and dried his tears. "I'm not dead. It's a spell, and I can bring ya'll back with me. I'm sorry it took so long."

Janus smiled. "Did you figure this out all by yourself?"

Apathy nodded slowly. "I'm sorry it took so long, I didn't know how yet, I wanted to get you sooner, but I wasn't good enough-" he said, heat rising in his face as he tried to keep himself from crying again.

Nero scooped him up in his arms, hushing him. "Apathy, we're all so proud of you. You are such a smart, thoughtful kid, we could never be mad! And it's only been a few days for us here." The others nodded in agreement with Nero.

Apathy took a few long breaths. That confirmation felt like a weight off his chest, and he couldn't help but feel much better. "We need to hurry. Patton and Honesty were chasing Lust around Remus's castle, and Honesty seemed worried about Lust getting back to the others."

He waved his hand, summoning some bath bomb-like small, pink, glowing orbs. "Everyone needs to eat these. I chose to make mine edible because the Dragon Witch didn't make enough of the liquid anyway. You all couldn't have gotten back; I did the math."

Nero set him down and he ran to all the others and handed them out, staring for a few extra seconds at Pride's empty eyesocket before shuddering and handing him one, mature enough to know what was worth talking about. 

Nero bit into his. It didn't have the texture he expected at all, more like a caramel apple, though it tasted like grapefruit and freshly cut grass. Immediately, he felt his head swim, and unlike the long, drawn-out shimmering of the Dragon Witch's potion, his mind went instantly blank, and that was that.


	33. They Call Our Crimes A Work Of Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took a bit longer than usual, I've been a bit emotionally preoccupied. (speaking as an American.) But here we go! 
> 
> [Chapter Warings]  
> major character death  
> kind of self harm?  
> gaslighting  
> mentions of sexual abuse and vague mentions sex acts

Remy was the first to speak. "PATTON! Honesty's behind you!"

Patton made a show of looking surprised and jumped away from Honesty. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" Lust shouted, wiping the sweat off his forehead. "THEY ARE WORKING TOGETHER!"

Patton leaned into the other sides, biting his lip and feigning pity. "We had a rough time getting back, he's been very emotional and confused-"

Lust felt himself began to panic. "What? No, he's... he's lying!"

Honesty smirked in his direction before turning to the others. "I can confirm, he's not lying."

Lust facepalmed. "How can you believe him? You know Honesty can lie! These are the same people who murdered a side and then didn't tell us he existed! Oh, and where are the others you ask? They kidnapped me and left them behind!"

Lust didn't notice that Honesty had moved until he felt the side's hand come down firmly on his shoulder. "Narcissus, kiddo," he said, and it was clear he was forcing himself to resist smiling. "You've had a long day. Why don't you let me take you back to your room and you can rest-"

Lust shook out of Honesty's grasp. "Why, so you can rape me again? Come on, guys!" The others looked confused as to what was happening. he looked at the other sins, who wouldn't meet his eyes... and they... they...

"...why don't you believe me?" he said in a soft voice. "What did I ever do to you? What do I have to do make you respect me?"

Remy scratched the back of his head. "Well, Patton says-"

"Patton's a liar!"

Emile smiled softly. "Lust, why don't you put down the sword, go back to your room and rest for a bit, and we'll discuss and figure out what's going on, okay?"

"I'm telling you what's going on!" he sobbed, his voice breaking.

Lust felt Honesty's hands on his shoulders once again, his grip firm and trying to pull him out of the room but not dramatically enough to make a scene. Patton's eyes glittered with malice behind his glasses. His heart began to beat faster and faster with panic.

They weren't going to listen. They were going to kill everyone. He had to do something, anything. He looked down at the sword, his eyes half-hidden behind his bangs, but terror shining in them. His opinion- the sins, the light sides... they would never believe him. See him as a person.

Lust smiled creepily, his eyes glowing a soft purple, licking his lips and staring into Patton's eyes. Patton's eyes widened with realization. "Mattie the sword-"

But it was too late. Lust spun the end of the sword around and drove it through his own stomach at an upward angle, sliding through Honesty's heart like butter. With a painful cry, he yanked the sword out of his stomach and swung in Patton's direction.

Patton screamed, but the sword never reached him.

The blade of the sword connected with a long golden sceptre, and the hands holding the sceptre twisted it, forcing Lust to drop the sword. Lust stumbled, falling back against the wall, clutching at his stomach, which was bleeding. A lot. Funny, he didn't even really feel it.

He glanced over at Honesty, who lay a few feet away clawing at his shirt, his breathing raspy and pained. "How could you?" he asked, his speech slurred. "After everything I've done for you-"

"You ruined my life, that's what you've done. And I'm not going to let you do that to the others." He wanted to look up, to see who had blocked him from killing Patton. But he couldn't tear his eyes away from the dying figure of Honesty. It was too wonderful an opportunity to pass up.

"What have they... ever done.... for you? They don't... even listen-" Lust moved over, leaving a bloody trail behind him, and clamped his hand over Honesty's mouth and nose.

"They don't, do they?" Lust said, and found himself laughing. He saw pure terror in Honesty's eyes as the side struggled for breath even more. "What's wrong old man? I remember you said you'd like it if I got a bit more dominant! And I remember you used to love breath play- well, making it so I couldn't breathe!"

A firm set of hands tried to rip Lust off of Honesty, but Lust refused to be moved. He looked up and saw a person he didn't recognise, the person with the sceptre. "Let Honesty go, villain! You'll kill him."

"That's kind of the point, prince not-so-charming," he said with a wink. He looked back to Honesty, smiling. The adrenaline pumping through him did numbers for his stamina, but he was getting woozy from the blood loss. Honesty's face was purple. Lust removed his hand, not quite satisfied, and jerked the side over despite his struggling. He pushed Honesty's face down in the pool of blood. 

Gluttony stepped forward, placing a hand on the sceptre man's shoulder. "I think you better just let him get it out of his system, whoever you are. This has been a long time in the making."

"He tried to kill Patton!" the person said.

A new voice came from the hallway. "I think we'd all like to kill Patton."

Lust glanced up at them, his eyes locking with Nero's. Nero looked alarmed to see Lust shirtless, drenched in blood and drowning Honesty in it, but didn't directly comment on it. He walked over to stand between Lust and the newcomer, while the rest of the others filed into the room.

Lust felt the rush of energy leave him, and he slumped back against the wall. Honesty pushed up, breathing still, but it was clear he was going to die any moment- the wound through his lungs and just scraping by his heart was far too damaging. "You... whore... now we're both... going to die."

"It's better than letting you hurt them again." Lust shrugged, his mind blurring. But not before he saw Honesty take his last, shuddering breath, and die.

__________________________________________________

Janus was nearer to the back of the group, so it was a moment before he laid eyes on the man with the sceptre. The... the king. He felt his heart skip beats, panic instantly rising in him. Virgil looked between him and the other side, gauging the emotions in the snake side. Something was very, very wrong to make his friend feel this way.

Janus cleared his throat carefully as if he was trying to sound steady, but it seemed hard. "Remus? Why would you-"

The king spun to face him. "Remus? That's not really my name, old friend." The king bit his lip uncomfortably as he saw the horror in Janus's eyes. "Uhm... for now, my compatriots, old and new, would somebody explain why the shirtless twink killed Honesty?" Lust snickered but stuck his tongue out in response.

Logan adjusted his glasses. "Because Honesty is a murderer, child abuser, and rapist, and we came to the conclusion that it would be better for Thomas if he was dead." It was then Logan spotted Lust, quickly summoning a first aid kit and going to his side.

"Better for Thomas! But Honesty's a light side!" Patton sobbed over his friend, who lay dead on the floor. "It's bad if Thomas loses his light sides!"

"Oh, but perfectly fine if the dark sides die?!" Nero snarled. "We all know you wanted this from the beginning, Patton! You murdered Oz with Honesty because he was a dark side!"

Oz sighed heavily, rubbing his temples. Gods he wanted a nap. All this social interaction was overwhelming. And why did they have to be so noisy?

The king sighed awkwardly. "I am very perplexed, I must say. I really don't have any memories since I was last the king, you'll really have to help me out here."

Pride smiled, waving at the king. "oh! Okay! So! I'm Pride, and Patton ripped out my eye and forced it into my mouth for several hours. Patton's been conspiring with Honesty to kill all of the dark sides, one whom, and I'm guessing you don't remember, are the duke's husband and the father of the prince's child."

Apathy makes eye contact with the king, his eyes empty and creepy. The king bit his lip, looking away, looking more or less just as confused than before. "Patton is Thomas's morality, though. You were all comfortable with the idea that Lust might kill him?"

Logan shrugged, meeting Patton's eyes icily. "I wouldn't say comfortable. And it certainly wouldn't be ideal for Thomas. But considering he was a part of a plot to kill so many sides and has proven himself to be rather devoid of morality in and of itself... I believe it's warranted that Lust tried."

Lust grinned, bringing a lazy fist up to Logan, who looked confused. "Aww thanks, Logic, fist bump?" Logan sighed, fist bumped him, and went back to trying to stop the side's bleeding.

Remy sighed, taking off his sunglasses and pushing them up into his hair. "Sure, Patton's not perfect, but you were just going to kill him? Without talking to us first?"

Apathy frowned. "have you not been paying attention? Lust tried!"

Emile smiled softly. "Apathy, this is a grown-up discussion. Janus, why don't you put Apathy to bed, we'll clean up.... this..." he waved to Honesty. "And we can settle this more appropriately. I believe Thomas is watching the Office right now, we could have a nice conversation and a vote-"

Nero opened his mouth to speak, but it was Pride who drew all of their attention. He pinched his eye shut for a moment, his hands clasped together in front of him. Finally, he opened his eye, biting his lip. "Guys..." he mumbled. "I hate to say it, but we're... we're all hurting Thomas. Murder, fighting, torture, rape, gaslighting... I think... I think..."

Patton smiled softly, licking his lips. "What do you think, Pride?"

Pride shuddered, snapping back into awareness. "I think we need to all split again. Light Sides and dark sides; stop interacting. Thomas was... he was better off, before. Thomas didn't really have half as many inner dilemmas before we all started trying to coexist," Pride's mellowness was startling. He looked so different, his hair still wet from the storm back in the subconscious, his hair stuck in a messy, unkempt mop. He still wore the off white sweatshirt and pants from earlier, and his missing eye gaped. It wasn't the same sort of vain confidence he typically had, the type children develop when they're told their to pretty to bother being smart. No, it was jittery and sharp and cold, and the other sins seemed to recoil at the difference of their friend; their family member. 

There wasn't any joy in his expression when his eye trailed to Honesty. It seemed passive and tired, the maturity startling. There was a certain hesitancy, a pain in the way he held himself. He felt his mind slipping a little, the effort of staying focused on the real world taking a toll. It was easier to dream, less painful when you got lost inside your mind. So he said what he had to say. And everyone listened. "Those of you who believe Lust was right in his attempt to kill Patton for his countless attempts to murder and destroy other sides with Honesty, you're a dark side, stand on the right side of the room. Those who don't, you're a light side, you go to the left. It's fairly simple."

Janus and the king's eyes locked for a moment. Janus looked distraught in a way none of them was used to, a sort of pain that was different from any of the other horrible situations they'd faced. He looked hopeless. The king frowned. "I don't... I... I was a light side before. Until I figure things out, I think I'll-" he tried to say to Janus.

Janus looked away. "That's what I thought," he said, picking up Apathy, who was tugging on his sleeve, and walking to the right side of the room. Nero followed suit, and then Virgil and Oz, Pride making his way slowly.

Logan turned to the group. "I'd like to make it known that I am in full support of the dark sides, but I need to take Lust back to my room for proper medical attention." And like that, he sunk out, Lust in tow. 

Envy began to walk to the right side of the room, and froze, spinning back to face Gluttony and Greed. "Wait, you two are going to be light sides?"

Gluttony wouldn't even meet his eyes. Greed shrugged. "I don't know, man! Now that Honesty's dead, it should be better on the light side. Wasn't it always better on the light-"

"That's his bullshit propaganda and you know it! Honesty used to say that to try and get us on his side to take over the mindscape. 'The light side is better! Janus is trying to keep you from better opportunities' and all that. Don't you remember?! Gluttony, come on!" Envy hissed. When neither of them went to the dark side, he stomped over.

"You're all traitors!" he said, pointing. "Gluttony, Greed, Sloth!" Remy flinched. "Patton is Besties with Honesty! He's no different! He will be the exact same, or Hell, even worse, and you don't even care!" Envy shouted, rubbing his cheeks. He sunk out.

Emile sighed. "I always liked to remain neutral, you know. I never really saw the point of making one of the other seem like the enemy. As the psychologist and doctor here, my services are open to everyone. I hope you utilize them. I'm going to check on Thomas."

Virgil nodded. "So am I. I miss him." And the two of them were gone.

The rest filed out, the king trailing after Remy and the new band of light sides led him back to the old Light side common area until it was just Nero and Patton left.

Patton smiled. "Is there something you wanted to say to me, Wrath?"

Nero swallowed the anger burning in his throat for a minute. "I wanted to apologise."

Patton looked thrown off. "A-apologise?"

Nero nodded. "I'm not sure how you came to have these opinions about how important I or the other darks are to Thomas. I don't know if you've always felt this way, or if it's Honesty's fault, or if we did something so horrible you want us killed. But I'm sorry it's like this now. I hope you're going to be willing to work together for Thomas's growth."

Patton rolled his eyes. "You sound like Logan. And anyway, I've always been working for Thomas's growth. It just seems we have a big difference of opinion on that."

Nero's eyes became bright orange in a matter of seconds. "It is taking all my efforts not to break your spine like I did your fingers."

Patton pouted, clicking his tongue, crossing the room to get up in Nero's face. "Nero, Nero, Nero, you may be stronger than I am, but seems like I was enough to persuade Janus's own husband to leave him!"

"I don't know what's going on with creativity, but he would never willingly turn his back on Janus." Nero paused and then laughed. "I can't wait to see you end up like him," he said, waving to Honesty. "And trust me, I will personally be the one to drop you on the doorstep of Hell."

Patton smiled, pinching Nero's cheek. "Oh, I'd like to see you try." And with that, he sunk out, leaving Nero all alone. 

Nero stood quietly for a moment, spat on Honesty's body, and left.


	34. What If I Wanted To Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey my good people! Is it almost 4am where I live? Yes. Do I have classes early? Yes. Will I die? Not as much as Honesty. (cackles) anyways, next chapter's the last one. I'll be posting the last chapter of this one and the first of the next part of the series on the same day, so ya'll won't have to wait. And I hope you can enjoy the somewhat fluffy ending of this chapter? Idk, my GF Riveroot_Nightshade typically writes the fluff scenes, but here *throws chapter* see how this goes. Wow this is a longer summary than usual. I'll stop now. XD
> 
> [Chapter warnings]  
> -sad boy hours, Janus edition  
> -The kids are not alright  
> -I can't remember a single thing I wrote in this chapter, I am so tired, so uhm, if you think of warnings or tags, don't hesitate to tell me!

Apathy wanted to stay around, to interact with his family now that they were back, but he felt... sick. Ever since they'd gotten back, he was filled with nausea and fatigue. Janus set him down on the couch when they got to the dark side common room, murmured something, and quickly excused himself. Oz was nowhere to be found, and with Remus gone, Lust and Logan trying to keep Lust from dying, and Virgil visiting Thomas, it meant that now it was just himself, Nero, Envy and Pride.

Nero sighed, looking at the group. Pride had seemingly zoned out again, whispering incoherently to himself, and Envy looked like he was about to cry. "Hey En, want to make food with me? Take your mind off-"

Envy nodded, getting up before they could Nero could finish, and left the room. Nero patted Apathy on the shoulder, told him to watch TV or something, and left, leaving Pride alone with Apathy. Apathy curled up in the corner of the couch, summoning an ice pack and draping it over his forehead.

"Pride?"

"Hmm?" Pride asked, not bothering to look at Apathy, just picking at the dirt beneath his fingernails.

"Thank you."

Pride tipped his head to the side. "Why?"

"Honesty wanted to kill me. You betrayed him, and he killed you instead. Thank you."

Pride shrugged. "Grown-ups are supposed to take care of kids. My dad- err, parental figure, wasn't exactly good at that, I see that now. Haha, see!" he said with a soft giggle, waving to his face. He stopped laughing. "You have so many people who love you, Apathy, don't you know?"

Apathy didn't know quite how to answer. "I mean... my father... and Nero?"

Pride shook his head. "Them, along with Virgil, Lust, Logan, Envy, me- I bet most of those light sides, if they weren't so afraid to admit it. You're special- the baby of the house always is, somehow. I think it's important that you know it, even with all this crap that's been going on lately."

Apathy's vision swam, and he felt like he was going to throw up. "T-thanks," he murmured weakly. "I think I need to go, sorry Pride-"

"You look like hell's warming over, are you okay?" Pride asked softly. He pretty clearly had no idea what he was doing and seemed to be attempting to mimic Nero or Janus's comforting expressions, but it didn't quite sit right with his missing eye, which Apathy was trying to avoid directly looking at. Kudos for trying though, he figured.

Apathy forced himself to nod and tried to leave the room. Pride got up quicker than he did, knelt down and pressed the back of his hand to Apathy's forehead. "Yikes, you're burning even with the icepack. You stay right here, I'll grab Nero-"

Apathy's muscles gave out on their own accord, and he fainted, the light going out in his mind like the flip of a switch. He heard Pride cry out in surprise before he completely lost consciousness.

____________________________________________

Janus wasn't sure what he was planning. He ran to Roman's room, knocking sharply. No answer, and when he tried to open the door, it was locked. He was terrified of going to Remus's room, because he knew it'd be very much the same. So Janus went back to his own old room, a room he had hardly been in since getting married, and fell like a sack of potatoes onto the bed.

He lay on his back for a few moments, trying to crush the horrible feelings welling up inside him. God, he had been so excited to see Remus again... he had wanted to see him every moment since he left.

Janus knew he shouldn't have left- Remus had begged him not to. But he had been so worried about the others- how could he not go? Janus allowed the panic he'd been suppressing wash over him like a giant wave, and began to sob. His extra limbs came out without thinking as he curled up into a ball, and he hugged himself tightly, his fingernails digging into his skin as his breaths became more and more ragged.

There was a soft knock on the door. He didn't bother answering, just tried to quiet his sobs for a moment with the hope that whoever it was would go away. "Deceit?" Came the king's distinct, regal voice, followed by another knock. "I know you're in there. Can we talk, please?"

Janus shook his head, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. He heard the king sigh outside the door. "Deceit, please, we didn't get to talk earlier, and we really must catch up! I'm coming in, alright?"

The door swung open, and there was a brief second of awkward silence. "Oh dear..." the king murmured, and Janus rubbed his eyes so he could see the king better. He wore a grey uniform, like a drummer boy in the military, which had green and red tassels. His sceptre was resting in a loop on his white belt, and he wore gloves that matched. Janus rubbed his eyes.

"Piss off."

"Deceit-"

"You have no right to be here, king! Leave me be!"

The king bit his lip, approaching and pulling out the chair of Janus's desk. "I mean you no harm. My goal is to amend whatever troubles I have caused you, as I can see you're rather distressed-"

"Distressed?! Distressed!!? Half of you is my husband! Yeah, I'm a little distressed!"

The king sighed, attempting a kind smile. "Which one-"

"You really don't remember anything?!" Janus said with a groan as he rubbed the newer tears from his face. "Fuck, Remus, how could you do this to me?" he whispered, burying his face in a pillow.

The king didn't seem to know how to help. He took off his left glove, displaying Remus's wedding ring. "Ahh, so that's who this belongs to. It's a nice ring."

Janus held out a shaky hand. "Give it to me."

"what? why-"

"Because it's my husband's! You're not him, and I can't get into his room or the imagination!"

The king took off the ring and handed it to Janus. They sat in silence for a while. "So Apathy... is our son?"

Janus scoffed. " 'our?' He's not yours, king. You're nothing but a painful reminder of who isn't here, don't act like you have any fucking right."

The king put his glove back on. "I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you."

"If you're sorry, why don't you re-split?"

The king bit his lip. "I don't... I don't know how I'm afraid."

Janus rolled his eyes. "Typical. Why don't you go suck Patton's dick or something? You seemed pretty ready to be with him."

"Deceit, I'm only a light side right now because I was a light side 20 years ago. I have no idea what's going on. And I came to you because from what I was hearing, Patton isn't a great guy. Now you have every right to be upset with me, but I need to understand what's going on so I can help."

There were a few long, painful moments of silence.

"...You can't," Janus said, and the words clearly stung.

The king sighed, straightening his clothes and standing up. "Well, please, Deceit. When you're ready to talk, come find me. I'll be waiting."

The king left. 

Okay, Janus knew it wasn't fair to be so rude to the king. This was all his own fault, and the king seemed to have good intentions. But it was uncomfortable, to stare into the eyes of a person who you love and not recognise them. Janus snapped himself in pyjamas and decided to go to bed early. He felt a little bad about not staying up to tuck Apathy in after all this time away from him, but he knew that Nero would be more than happy to orchestrate the affair anyway.

______________________________________________________________

Envy washed his hands quickly- far too quickly, Nero admonished, and without soap- but the other sin just shrugged, and rolled up his sleeves, looking through the refrigerator. This was going to be a lot harder, considering neither of them had their powers.

Nero didn't mind not having any powers. It made him feel more human, more like Thomas, and while it was tiring sometimes to have to walk everywhere and move things by hand, they had all been to busy to try and figure out if the banished sides could get their powers back. Honesty probably hadn't known or he'd had gotten his own powers back by now, so it didn't seem to have to do with time. For a second he thought of asking Patton but shook the thought from his mind with a sharp bite to his lip. He'd have to ask the dragon witch- or hey, he thought with a smile, even Apathy- if he could think of anything.

Envy gathered some things for fish Tacos- they all ate pasta to often in this household, he argued, even though the fish smelled a bit old. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?" Nero said with a soft laugh as Envy let out a slight screech when the fish almost slipped from his hands.

"I think Gluttony showed me how to make this back in like, 2009?" he said with equal joy until his face fell to bitterness when he realized who he had mentioned. He went back to gathering the ingredients from the refrigerator and pantry quietly as Nero tried to dust off the counters and cooking utensils, which probably hadn't been used in a very long time.

Nero's attention was drawn away by soft, careful footsteps on the dirty tile. He looked to the noise, and his mouth quite literally dropped open when he saw Lust, standing there and seemingly supporting all his weight on the door frame.

"L? What are you doing up, you were stabbed-"

Envy shook his head, a smile coming back. "Nah, he wasn't stabbed, he stabbed Honesty through his own stomach. It was the most metal thing I've ever seen."

Nero laughed, sliding a hand through his greasy hair with a laugh. "I'm sorry I missed it. Are you really supposed to be... walking around right now?"

Lust shrugged. Fuck, he looked gorgeous, Nero thought. He was wearing one of Logan's shirts, though it was unbuttoned down four, and you could see the bandages that Logan had wrapped around his torso. He wore a pair of his old white shorts and a tired but fond smile that nearly killed Nero on the spot. "I'm not supposed too, but Logan left to go get rid of Honesty once I was stable, and I wanted to see you."

Envy laughed at him, smacking him upside the head. "You fucking saps. Nero, make him go rest, or I will summon Logan to force you too."

Lust threw his hands up in the air, and Nero reached up, linking their fingers, and helped him out of the room. Nero's own room was the closest, so he brought Lust there, propping him up on pillows and blankets.

"Nero, I don't need you to mother me-"

"No, you need me to boyfriend you," he said playfully and slid in next to Lust.

"Yikes, Envy was right, you are sappy," Lust laughed awkwardly.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No! Please... please don't," he said, quickly sitting up at an angle that would probably tear his stitches. "We're boyfriends?"

Nero's face went pink. "I mean, I figured? Sorry, I guess we didn't talk about it, I shouldn't have assumed-"

Lust grinned, putting a finger to Nero's lips and silencing him. "It's not a bad assumption to make. I do... I do love you."

Nero bit the inside of he cheek, trying to conceal how giddy he was. "Can I... sorry if this is forward, but can I kiss-" his sentence was broken off when Lust's lips met his, unbelievably soft and warm and fitting with his in a way that Roman's never had.

Roman. How could he even compare Lust to Roman? With Roman, it was always a battle for dominance, and the creative side would do whatever it took to win. This was leisurely, calm. Good. Sure, dinner would be called soon, and he had a lot to do this evening as it seemed Janus was out for the count, but none of that mattered right now.

Right now, it was them. And only them. And it felt amazing.


	35. Strumming My Pain With His Fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHOOO! FIC DONE! YAY!
> 
> As you can see, I added the first chapter of the next part of the series as well!
> 
> [Chapter Warnings]  
> -breakdowns  
> -like seriously, the dark sides need love  
> -yikes
> 
> XD

Thomas woke from his mid-day depression nap with a start, feeling like his entire body had been zapped with electricity. He opened his eyes and quickly turned on the lights, and saw that two figures stood at the foot of his bed.

There was Emile Picani, who looked troubled and not cheery whatsoever, and there was... Virgil.

Virgil was wearing his old hoodie and looked a little worse for wear, and it was clear he was nervous. Thomas jumped from the bed, scrambling to get out of the tangle he was in and scooped Virgil up in a big hug.

Virgil seemed surprised and tense, like a cat when the rain began to fall, but he melted slightly in Thomas's embrace. "Oh my gosh, Virgil! You're home! I d-did missed you!" his face scrunched up a little, licking his lips.

Virgil pulled back, picking at his sleaves. "You.... you missed me?"

"Of.... of course!" Thomas sighed and was quiet for a brief moment. "Oh gosh, guys, why is it so hard for me to tell the truth now?"

Emile sighed. "Lust ran Honesty though with a sword. Long story really. I imagine that when both Janus and Honesty were dead, there was a balance, but now that just Honesty's dead... it will be harder for you to tell the truth. Not impossible, mind you, as there are other sides who can substitute for it a little- but it'll be harder."

Thomas sighed, nodding. "I guess it's worth it if he's dead."

Emile nodded, forcing a smile. "That's the spirit, Thomathy! Now, I imagine that you and Virgil will want some time to catch up, I'll leave you two alone-"

Thomas smiled kindly. "You don't have to go, Doc, if you don't want to, we like having you around-"

Emile laughed quietly, combing his hair back. "I'm afraid I have to. I need to get some work done for future appointments, I have to help the king get settled and keep an eye on Patton-"

Thomas shrugged, turning to Virgil and waving him to follow him to the kitchen. "Alrighty, don't work too hard."

Picani nodded and sunk out. 

He didn't go to the light sides. He went straight to his room, taking off his tie and throwing it at the door. He could feel the emotions of everyone in the mindscape from here, like echos of sounds in his mind, but so loud. 

Some of the emotions were happy- Nero and Lust were very happy, Patton seemed happy- but everyone else was in staggering amounts of emotional pain, and it was like nails on a chalkboard in his mind. 

He flopped down on the sofa in his office with a sob, setting his glasses down on the table. There was knocking on his door a moment later. "Hey, babe? You in there?" Called Remy, followed by the sound of him slurping iced coffee loudly, which only added to the painful, chaotic symphony in his mind.

Emile scrambled for his glasses, drying his eyes quickly on his sleeve, and opened the door. Remy smiled brightly, but then it turned slightly judgemental. He tipped down his glasses. "Have you been... crying?"

"What? No! I've been Emile Picani."

Remy rolled his eyes, his smile returning. "Oh good, I wasn't in the mood for feelings. You do look cute without the tie though," he said, kissing Emile's cheek. "Anyways, Pat wants to see you."

Emile shuddered, his eyes narrowing. As he rubbed his temples. "Tell him to shove it," he whispered.

Remy laughed awkwardly. "Woah, are you sure you're okay, Em?"

The doctor didn't answer at first. Finally, he shrugged. "Tired, I guess. I don't trust Patton. If he wants to see me, tell him he can make an appointment."

Remy hummed to himself, thinking as he took a drink. "Want me to put you to sleep? Would that help?"

"No, I'm fine enough on my own. G'night," he said, closing his door firmly and sliding down against it.

Remy sighed heavily and walked away from the door.

Emile rubbed his eyes, trying to slow his breathing, but he felt like he was being ripped apart. Why did all of this keep happening?! Was he really that bad of a doctor that his friends and family kept trying to kill themselves and each other?!

_________________________________________________________

Logan didn't quite know what to do. He had never really disposed of a body before, and the blood had already probably stained the carpet. So he decided he would 'magic' away what he could and find some decorative rug to cover the rest. Or at least, that was the plan. But he stopped, just out of sight of the room, when he heard a voice.

Peaking around the corner, he saw that Oz sitting on the floor, hugging his knees, about three feet from Honesty. Logan didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it was such an awkward situation to intrude upon. So he stood, listening quietly.

"You sick, sick monster," Oz said with a short, sad laugh. "For the sake of that Lust kid, I guess I'm glad you're dead. I think it'll be therapeutic for all those sins you permanently messed up. But that doesn't really help."

Oz sighed. "I thought I hated you and Patton. I guess I sort of do. But before all of this... we were friends, right? Before you killed me?.... I wish I'd been... I wish I'd been better. Back when I was in the subconscious, I had a lot of time to think, you know? I thought about you, mostly. Yeah, I know if you were alive, you'd tease me about it; I don't mean it that way. I just... I was so confused. I spent decades thinking about what I had done to upset you, about why you hated me enough to kill me. I was so... upset when you told me the real reason why. I'm not sure if that was the truth; that I had been a nuisance."

Logan heard Oz sniffle. "I think I was upset because... because that's exactly what I thought you'd say, and that's why I knew you weren't lying. I'd have preferred it if you lied, really. Said something more dramatic, like it was to get Patton all to yourself, or to do a satanic ritual, or something like that. But... I know I'm a nuisance. Mattie, I don't know what to do. These people... heck, it was hard enough with just you and Patton, but you know I've never been good with others."

Oz's voice cracked. "I'm scared, Mattie. I don't... I don't want to be a nuisance to the others. I've lost so much time with Thomas... I don't know what to do. I'm depression, aren't I? I'm bound to hurt them eventually. They're going to kill me again, and then I'll be stuck with you in the subconscious. Forever."

And there was silence. Logan listened to him cry softly for a moment before slowly entering the room. Oz jumped to his feet, furiously rubbing his eyes. "Ahh, Logic! I Uhm... I was..."

"I heard. Oz, we are never going to hurt you as they did."

Oz shrugged, laughing quietly. "Of course that's what you'd say-"

"Because it's true," Logan said, adjusting his tie. "You don't have to trust me by my words alone, but I hope our actions will come to speak for ourselves. Now, how about we clean this up? I bet dinner will be just about ready when we get back."

Oz sniffled, nodding, and snapped away Honesty's body after a seconds hesitation. To the imagination, Logan presumed, as he summoned a carpet shampoo-er and tried his best to get the blood out.

Logan outstretched a hand to Oz. "Ready?"

Oz smiled, nodding softly after he looked around the common room that used to be habituated by the dark and the light sides alike. "Yeah. Man, I'm going to sleep as soon as we get home, this day has been crazy," he giggled, taking Logan's hand as they sunk out.

When they arrived at the dark side commons, it was not a good sight. The kitchen was on fire and Envy was about to throw water on it, which Logan realized in horror was an electrical fire. There was loud crying coming from Janus's room, Lust and Nero were nowhere to be found, Pride was having a panic attack on the couch and Apathy was unconscious. 

Oz's shoulders sunk, and he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "So much for a quiet evening, huh."


End file.
